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Necrophilia Guy's Erotic Guide to Mercury Retrograde and Other Prostatic Disorders By Thomas S. Rochewritten by Thomas RocheMy friend Mike seems to know a thing or two about astrology. He’s not a New Age freak or anything, just a casual sort of weekend occultist. He told me there was a hardcore Mercury Retrogrades in December, and if I had any hopes for being productive I should just ditch them right now and save everyone a lot of trouble. More… Sunrise in Venice by Amelia Gwritten by Amelia GHe wasn’t the sort of guy I normally saw at The Probe, not the sort who would normally be there on a gay night. Maybe for their Gothic or industrial nights, but not for hip-hop and not for gay. I’d actually checked out the Probe’s Gothic night a couple of times because I’d heard some positively supernatural stuff goes on there. Didn’t see much of anything. Mostly I just felt as out of place on those nights as this guy looked on my night. Well, my night or not, the DJ was doing that interminable techno remix style which makes every song sound exactly the same as the one before it. As a result, I was developing a splitting headache and I was bored of dancing. Normally I love to dance and I’m pretty athlet ic. I guess maybe I was more upset about the whole thing with Skip than I wanted to be. More… Welcome to Weirdsville: Green Jaws by M. Christianwritten by M. ChristianIt’s coming. If you close your eyes you can hear it: a soft skittering, hovering at the edge of awareness. The sound of rustling leaves, of gravel, of soil being inexorably pushed aside. The crackling of lumber being crushed; the sharp chimes of metal being deforming by a steady, unstoppable force. More… Welcome to Weirdsville: Hellfire! by M. Christianwritten by M. ChristianHistory has not been kind to them. If you can even find references to their Brotherhood it’s usually shaded with Christian hysteria, whispered tales loaded with the usual Catholic shockers of Satanism, sacrifice, the black mass, rituals — you name it. They say that the winners write the history books — well, I consider it a bad sign that it takes a lot of digging to uncover the truth: while they haven’t won they certainly have a good enough foothold to pretty badly taint the memory of the Amorous Knights of Wycombe. More… Welcome to Weirdsville: MERDRE! by M. Christianwritten by M. ChristianMany ghosts haunt the stage. Aside from the specters of the greats (Barrymore, Bernhardt, etc.), whole genres wait in the wings for a chance at resurrection: the farce, Grand Guignol, the drawing room mystery, live radio, and many other flamboyant choruses of departed productions. More… Welcome to Weirdsville: Never Forget – by M. Christianwritten by M. ChristianTrumpeting — though no one alive can hear her; thundering down the shimmering vanishing point of the old steel rails — though no one living can feel her massing footfalls; her massive ectoplasmic essence prowls the afterlife tundra of the railway yards — maybe she tries to pull the living, so inaccessible, weeds that struggle through the creosote stained ties, between the fissures of cracked concrete; maybe she tries to bathe in the town reservoir, though the water flows through her ghostly form. More… Welcome to Weirdsville: Sweet, Sweet Death by M. Christianwritten by M. Christian“Tell me, what was 15 feet high, moved at 35 miles-per-hour, and killed 21 people in 1919?” “I don’t know, Mr. Bones, what WAS 16 feet high, moved at 35 miles-per-hour, and killed 21 people in 1919?” “Well, before I tell ya, I’m going to first have to tell you about the sweet brown liquor called rum.” More… Welcome to Weirdsville: You Are What You — by M. Christianwritten by M. ChristianThe setting is fine and lavish: a stately home, the furnishings of fine lineage. Exquisite china, polished silver, an excellent cellar — the perfect elements for an extravagant dining experience. Your hosts, the father and — later — the son, are the most perfect of hosts: witty, urbane, educated, they tantalize and enthrall with rejoinder and anecdote. More… Necrophillia Guy's Erotic Guide to Depressing Classical Music by Thomas Rochewritten by Thomas RocheOr: Music to Fuck to, Andante It’s no surprise that a person using the moniker Necrophillia Guy has, um, esoteric tastes, or “special needs” as they are sometimes called. My taste in tunes, as in most other things, leans toward the macabre. No big shock there either, I suppose. After all, how appropriate would it be to set the stage for a necrophilliac encounter by playing Barry Manilow or Bad Company at top volume? More… |
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