Hello, Boys and Girls! I Hate My Life.
Posted 02-21-2011 at 03:14 PM by Cat Stark
I am really stressed out right now. As the title suggests, I hate my life.
I hate the classes I am taking. I hate that house I am living in, and the two people that I have to live with there. I hate that my room is not clean because it is too small to fit all my stuff. I hate that I have no free time where I can just relax and be myself. I hate that I have to laugh at myself every chance I get just so I am not so stressed out I have a nervous brake down. I hate the fact that if I died today no one would know who the real me was. I hate how lonely I am all the time. I hate that I can not talk to my mom about anything without her turning it into a woe-is-me fest. I hate that my dad never wanted me. I hate that my whole life until now was wasted because I believed what other people said I was. I hate that I could have been so much more then I am and there is nothing I can do about it now. I hate that with every boyfriend I had I tried to make it work and they did not. I hate that there is so much about me a normal person would not understand. I hate that up until a few years ago my greatest accomplishment was that I was still alive. I hate pretending to be happy when I am hurting so much. I hate that I have no one there for me. I hate having to think about the risk of being homeless or hungry when most of the people my age are just thinking about passing classes or hanging out with friends. I hate that I have no idea if the guy I like likes me, or if I will ever even see him again. I hate taking the bus everywhere. I hate that the highlight of my day is going to bed at night. I hate thinking that if there is a God he is a twisted being for making me live my life. I hate that I have nothing to hold onto to keep me from going under. I hate that for the rest of my life I have to worry about going crazier and passing it down to my children, no matter how small the chance. I hate having to wonder, "What am I going to do now?" I hate seeing happy people and knowing that that might never be me no matter how hard I work to get it. I hate how unhappy I am. I hate being nice to those who do not deserve it. I hate how unfair life is.
I hate so much about my life, and I have no clear idea about what to do about any of it. There is so much I can do nothing about. There is so much that has been lost to me. I do not know what to do anymore.
I hate the classes I am taking. I hate that house I am living in, and the two people that I have to live with there. I hate that my room is not clean because it is too small to fit all my stuff. I hate that I have no free time where I can just relax and be myself. I hate that I have to laugh at myself every chance I get just so I am not so stressed out I have a nervous brake down. I hate the fact that if I died today no one would know who the real me was. I hate how lonely I am all the time. I hate that I can not talk to my mom about anything without her turning it into a woe-is-me fest. I hate that my dad never wanted me. I hate that my whole life until now was wasted because I believed what other people said I was. I hate that I could have been so much more then I am and there is nothing I can do about it now. I hate that with every boyfriend I had I tried to make it work and they did not. I hate that there is so much about me a normal person would not understand. I hate that up until a few years ago my greatest accomplishment was that I was still alive. I hate pretending to be happy when I am hurting so much. I hate that I have no one there for me. I hate having to think about the risk of being homeless or hungry when most of the people my age are just thinking about passing classes or hanging out with friends. I hate that I have no idea if the guy I like likes me, or if I will ever even see him again. I hate taking the bus everywhere. I hate that the highlight of my day is going to bed at night. I hate thinking that if there is a God he is a twisted being for making me live my life. I hate that I have nothing to hold onto to keep me from going under. I hate that for the rest of my life I have to worry about going crazier and passing it down to my children, no matter how small the chance. I hate having to wonder, "What am I going to do now?" I hate seeing happy people and knowing that that might never be me no matter how hard I work to get it. I hate how unhappy I am. I hate being nice to those who do not deserve it. I hate how unfair life is.
I hate so much about my life, and I have no clear idea about what to do about any of it. There is so much I can do nothing about. There is so much that has been lost to me. I do not know what to do anymore.
Total Comments 1
Comments
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Awww, I Am Truly Sorry...Sadly I Feel The Same Way About Some Of The Those Things.Posted 02-21-2011 at 11:58 PM by JJ_Spade 
