One of those HAHAHA moments for religion.
 

I apologize if this thread may offend anyone, but religion sometimes is too funny not to make fun of it; especially when people talk before they can think.
Anyone can think of something either funny or simply ridiculous (either lightly or serious) that you have heard in a religions conversation or statement?
The example I'm dying to tell you:

From Hume-anist :
Funniest conversation I've ever had with a Muslim (I'm remembering rather than transcribing from tape, but I swear this was the gist of it)...
Muslim: All other religions that worship idols are wrong.
Hume: In what way?
M: They bow down to lumps of rock. Can't you see that's wrong?
H: And when *you* pray, what do *you* pray to?
M: We pray to Allah!
H: So since Allah is everywhere, it doesn't matter which way you face?
M: We must face Mecca.
H: And if you're *in* Mecca, which way do you face?
M: We face the Ka'abah
H: And what *is* the Ka'abah?
M: It's this huge rock...

(SOURCE: http://www.abarnett.demon.co.uk/atheism/hogwash.html)

hahha... Nice one.

I used to have two super Christian friends, and they were always getting caught up like that whenever they talked to me.










*We lived throught that roller coaster ride because I prayed.*

The Church of the Blind Chihuahua is full of this kind of humor:

http://www.dogchurch.org

"Bring your Dogma, if it doesn't bite."

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A christian once told me jesus doesnt want me to think so much.
what the hell? ppl act stupid

if jesus even existed.
i think he was just a story made up by the church, personally

It would'nt matter really. I bet this person thoughts would'nt amount to much anyway.

This isn't necessarily religious, but I had a conversation with a uber Christian about why his views on stem cell research are stupid. It went something like:

Me: Yeah, but what if your dad got Parkinson's disease? Wouldn't you like him to be cured?
Him: No. Well, I mean...
Me: You're saying you want your dad to die of a possibly curable disease?!
Him: It'd be no different than him dying in a car crash
Me: What?! You're comparing Parkinson's disease to a car crash?!
Him: Parkinson's disease is just a state of mind
Me: You are a fucking idiot

And what's strange is that the kid is really smart

State of mind, haha.

heres an actual conversation i had with this crazy girl at my school last year. i knew ahead of time she had a huge problem with gays/bis. not the 1st "discussion" see.......so it was like this:

me: hey how was your spring break?
her: fine. why?
me: just wondering. mine was ok.

blahblahblah

me: so what ever happened to John? (her BF)
her: he dumped me. i dont care. well, actually, im lying; i do. im such a bad christian. thank goodness i have a forgiving god. he will forgive ALL my sins....*happy*
me: uhhh...........right.......... *barf*
her: god will forgive all sins because of his love
me: mmhhhmmm......*snicker* really?!
her: yea! it says so in the bible
me: so then why do you have such a problem with god supposedly hating gays? if hes gonna forgive them, why does it matter if they are gay or not?
her: well, gays are just WRONG
me: why?
her: the bible says so
me: the bible says a lot of things. its mostly full of shit.
her: >=[
me: ...
her: lying is forgivable. being gay isnt.
me: gays were born that way. they cant just "stop" being gay
her: so???
me: well you can stop lying; they cant stop being gay. and according to you, god made us ALL. if he is a loving god, why would he make a gay and then hate them for it?
her: uhhhh......
me: *exactly* :D

The bible is quite a fetching read. It has some incestuous bits in it that I quite enjoyed actually.

Especially Deuteronomy. It cracks me up. ;)

haha, right on.

:D Its Amazing!

Korina, why would the church make Jesus up? Jesus went against many of the beliefs of that time period, the church wouldn't want to make anything like that up. He inspired people to try to please God and only God, not the religious authority figures. Also, his existence was recorded hundreds of history books written in that time, even by the Jews! (In case you didn't know, the Jews thought Jesus was just a trouble maker and strongly disliked him, hence the whole cruxifiction thing, but they were known for their neurotic way of recording everything. I highly doubt something you read about Jesus written by them would be made up.)

The Koran is one big lolfest.

The first half is like "The Jews are our brethren because they also beleive in only on God", and then Mohammed's wife dies, and it becomes a "Kill all the infidels!!!" pamphlet.

A lot of what you said isn't necessarily true.

The Jews didn't crucify Jesus, and thats historically proven. Many of the "artifacts" that have "proven" Jesus's existance have been shown to be hoaxes. While I'm not denying that Jews wrote all about Jesus, having had 9 or so years of Jewish classes, I think it would've been mentioned somewhere.

Also, Christianity is not based on Jesus's religion. He created a sect of Judaism which followed essentially all of the same practices, just different leniancy as to what commandments were applicible to the practicers. At the time, there were many different sects of Judaism, and thus saying "the Jews hated Jesus" is as incorrect as saying "Christians hate gays", because your not necessarily speaking for the vast majority.

I never said they hated him, I said they strongly disliked him. There's a huge difference! But you're right, I shouldn't have put all Jews into one category. A lot of what you said is true. Clearly you've had more of a Jewish education and I've had more of a Christian education. We both have some good points, though.

thank you for that wonderful history lesson, but i was raised roman catholic.
am i not entitled to my own opinion? i think they made him up. it would be a long discussion for me to go into depth, but i DID state that it was an opinion of mine.

and please spell my name right.

I wasn't trying to take your opinion away from you, Korinna. I was just wondering why you think that someone would make Jesus up. Oh, and you're welcome for the wonderful history lesson.

And this is why I have a hard time believing the Bible. I may be Christian, but I think most of the Bible is just BS that was made up just to tell people how to live.

And personally, I have a real problem with homosexuality being considered a sin--a sin is a deliberate act against God. If it's hardwired into someone's brain, how can it be a deliberate act?

Maybe the Bible writers misheard God. Maybe what he really said just got lost in translation. Instead of saying "Being gay is wrong." he probably said "Eating hay is wrong." Because hay is nasty. I remember when I was 6 I was pretending to be a horse and I started trying to eat a piece of hay. It was so gross, I spit it out all over the place.


But I don't remember Jesus himself actually saying anything about being gay... did he?? I think it's time to pull out the ol' Precious Moments Collector Bible I got when I was babtized!

Not at all. I catually talked about that yesterday.
It is mentioned in the New Testament, but not by Jesus.