and it begins......
i've been home for five days and i really just need to get away. my mother is a control freek. when one little thing goes wrong she flips right out. my sister is starting to drive me nuts. by nature im not an overly social person. i like my friends and i spend a lot of time with people i care about but i dont tend to spend every waking hour with anyone. now she's getting on my case because i dont want to play a card game with them. even though i am in my mom's office i am still not alone because my father has desided to sit on the floor in here and read his book. i guess i never really realized how much a like we are till this moment... but then again it could be the port talking.
there has been a lot of talk this holiday about me moving to san francisco to live with my older brotehr for a while. his wife has indicated that i would have no problem finding a job in my "field" :twisted: course, i can't move there until they move back into the city. i think my boss is going to shit a brick when she finds out but i dont really care at this point. again the port.
i've been drinking it for a few hours now. desided that i wanted to discover the effects of drinking heavily while on prescription pain medication. so far im just drunk but we'll see what happens in a few more hours.
anyways back to the fam. my little brother just left. he's desided that he's had enough of the family and just wants to get away. truthfully i'm glad he's gone. he's one of those look-at-me people i lothe. i only see him once a year and thats more than enough. my older brother... well now that he's married he's not as violent and a little eaiser to get along with but he's still an asshole. I dont know if i'll even know what heidi see's in him. of course that brings me to heidi... i love this woman. she's the whole reason i even considered moving to san fran. she's an amazing spirit that i will never get tired of... it's fairly obvious she's not one of my clan :twisted: .
there's my baby brother here too.... he's a good kid. he went out last night, got really stoned and lost his camera. we went out today and looked for it. his usual thing to do when he's hanging out with his friends is to drive around stopping every so often to smoke a joint. of course this means that we had quite a few places to check but we eventually found it. this kid... he's just so easy going. i love every little bit of him.
ahh well im out of port, must go find more... of course that means i'll have to go back out to the fam, and they will give me mean looks because i'd rather not sit with them and pretend to enjoy myself but hey... its alcohol and as far as i know.. .they may just befigments of my imagination anyways.

Daz i feel lil bad for u but its happeing to us all and it suckes ass but for me its hard cuz my mother died this year and it was my frist x-mas with out her but u know thats life !!!

heh, dont feel bad for me when i've been drinking. today its all just shits and giggles anyways :twisted:
sorry bout your mom, the first christmas without some one oyou love is always hard. my grandpa dies on christmas day about six years ago. its never been the same since

This post is very sad. Reading about failed, potential loves, always make me teary-eyed. I guess it comes from watching the Lifetime channel constantly. Not to gloat, but it also makes me happy for my love life. I'm still completely in love of my boyfriend of almost 18 months (we've been dating since I was 14, and I'm now 16; he's 18..a bit of a gap). He is undoubtedly the sweetest man, doing everything he possibly can for me, and I must admit, I am very, very spoiled because of it. It is truely amazing to realize that you love someone, and even better when you know that they love you back. It's not always fantastic, as anyone in a new or long relationship, young or old, can confirm. The one you love the most will also hurt you the most, ironic, no? Eh, ok off of that little tangent, I just felt compeled to gush about my boyfriend. Sorry to take up space.

gush away, least we know someone out there is having fun :twisted:

Did I mention he is my bestfriend? Ah, it is great when the person you love romantically is also the person you share everything with. Eh, ok this will be the end of gushing for tonight, promise. I only said this because I was given permission, so to say, but I am done...for now.

What a fucking night !!! this most not be my day ! i lost my smokes outside to day i got a new bf a few days ago and he broke up with me so he could go out with this bleach blonde bitch.and then my cat got ranway and the next person to fuck with me is going to get bitched the fuck out !!!

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Italian food ...
Mozzerella sticks...
Plenty of psychopathic dog licks...


.... yess, random, and my life o_O

I'm assuming this wouldn't be the best time to comment on the poor grammar. So I'll save her the time and correct it myself. Afterall, she has had, what seems to be a horrible day:

"What a fucking night! This must not be my day! I lost my cigaretts outside today. (On top of that,) I got a new boyfriend a few days ago and he broke up with me so that he could go out with this bleach-blond bitch. And then, my cat got ran-over/ran away. The next person to fuck with me is going to get bitched the fuck out!"

I must give her credit, this post was actually not too bad. Congratulations Gothic Bitch.

Pitseleh - sorry to hear how it ended. But I'm sure you would've made her happy, not brought her down.

Congrats for reaching 200 posts, eyesofatragedy!

Agreed. Love puts you in a state of mild trance ... but really, it's just because the level of 'happy' endorphins in your system has increased. Ah well, who's to dissect all the reasons behind why we feel what we do. The inital cause of the feeling can't be argued with.

I attribute "the one you love the most will also hurt you the most" to the need for an opposition. You have to have black to know white. I think it's only logical that someone who can make you laugh can also make you cry.

Unfortunately I'm in the downswing stage with my friend ... who I so dearly love. He hasn't bloody made contact in five days! :(
I emailed him three days ago and he hasn't replied. I SMSed him this morning ... guess I'll see when he'll respond. He makes me so worried. I went online at about 4am this morning - he's usually on at about 4am my time, since it's 9:45pmish in Sweden - but he wasn't there. He's a computer freak, frickin damnit. So when he's not online, that makes me anxious.

I know, this is all just in my head ... the dream I had the night before didn't help. I dreamt that I received an email from him, explaining his absence. As it turned out, he'd met someone and was dating her! So he didn't have time for me.

Baad dream. Very bad.

How Dawson and Joey. 8)

Oh, and I second Daz's "gush away".

....... *is eating choc-chip cookies at the moment*

What's everyone doing for New Year's Eve? Anything?

My friend and I are hitting the city ... street parties all night. Well ok, maybe only till 2am. Then I'm sleeping over her place.

thanks for fixing my poor grammer perfectly_flawed i was to lazy to do it my self

Wrong person. But, since you thanked me already, I may as well do some correcting ...

"Thanks for fixing my poor grammar Perfectly_Flawed, I was too lazy to do it myself."

Hope things look up for you tomorrow.

same here

I'll take the credit for this one.

Perfectly_Flawed, I'm sorry about your long distance woes. Hopefully it will just turn out to be paranoia.

Bah, I hate those sorts of dreams... I had one somewhat like that the night before last.

Good luck with it, though... long-distance relationships are usually very hard to do, but they can also be serious and nice, if the right two people get together.

i get to hang out with my baby brother for new years in kelowna, no i dont expect any of you to know where that is. he's five years younger than me so so will most of the people there but oh well. he actually told me that some of his friends are older than he is but still younger than me. its gonna be fun anyways, his friends are hillarious ( wow that really looks wrong). the morning after the parties i have to get on a plane so i'm thinking that a hang-over may not be a very good idea :twisted:
hope you all have fun plans for the year end

I think it is just paranoia, lol ... but y'know, being paranoid and all, I'm delusional and illogical.

There is the slightest chance that we'll have an actual love relationship in the future ... but for now I'm hoping that we'll maintain our friendship. Distance and time can be so cruel.

Thanks for the support, you two. :)

... I'm planning on checking my inbox in 15 minutes. I told myself last night at 9pm that I would hold off from doing so for at least 12 hours. I usually check my mail about 8 times a day, and more often that not, I end up disappointed. So, I decided to save myself the pain ... and instead deal with impatience.

.....................

Sounds like you're going to have a busy New Years, Daz. And no, nursing an acidic hangover on the plane would not be a pleasant experience ... but hopefully after having partied all night you'll conk out right away. Most people would kill to get some sleep when they fly.

I don't even try anymore. I just make sure to have plenty of entertainment with me. I used to fly a lot as a kid, pretty much yearly, but I would be too short to see the tiny TV screens fixed to the roofs of the plane. I would crane my neck for half an hour before giving up.

International flights rock though; mini TV screens on the back of the seat in front of you. :twisted:

Anyone like airplane food? I used to. But then Virgin came into our market and everyone became competitive ... prices dropped, but so did the quality of the food. From chicken and pasta to dry sandwiches. Ah well ... at least it's only for a few hours.

Wow, I don't know any parents who play video games.

Your room sounds cool ... and feel free to bitch to us whenever. :D

................

I am in need of a Hair of a Dog. I feel smashed ... though I consumed very little alcohol last night. I just had a bit of this Brazillian concoction my friend's brother made ... lemon, sugar, and butterscotchsnapps or something or rather. Was pretty nice.

I think I only got about an hour's shut-eye last night. But I don't feel like catching up on lost sleep right now ... guess I'll survive.

Last night was pretty good. It consisted mostly of walking around - for 4 hours straight. Add a splash of dancing in the streets (moi) and you've just about got it.

Nova 937 (a radio station in Perth) occupied a small stage, and had hired three dancers in skimpy Malibu Barbie outfits to entertain the crowd. :roll: I can't believe Nova did that ... I actually used to respect them.

New Years last night really brought out the worst in so many. I can't count how many times I saw couples kissing, and the guy looking over his partner's shoulder to check out other women. Also, for the second New Year's in a row some asshole grabbed my ass! Phht ...

All that aside though, I did have a great time. I also missed the countdown..! My friend and I were watching some acrobatic demonstration, and upon walking to the official counter we saw that it was 00:02. Hehe ... it didn't really matter though.

Hope you guys also had fun on NYE!

Oh, one more thing. For those who have been following up on my relationship woes, he SMSed me this morning. At 00:10 his time, to wish me a Happy New Year's.

I'm relieved that he's finally made contact, but the lyrics of a certain song float into my head ... "He disappears for a week at a time/ then he shows up here just like everything's fine..." ... what do you think? Should I cut him some slack or be a little annoyed at his unexplained absences? He always bloody does this to me and my heartstrings get pulled to the point of snapping ...

Can anyone offer any words of wisdom?