very alone
 

I'm so lonely.
sometimes I walk down busy streets (i live in queens) and see the posters and pictures of things, the bright lights now that it's christmas time
and I feel like I'm trying to squeeze so hard into a world I don't fit in
My spirit says no! You are a part of this world, any world
you are here where you are for a reason, but I just don't know

my boyfriend and I broke up too. It was for the best but it makes me feel like no one cares... we were together for 2 years... we never had sex (for many reasons) but we truly loved each other, I thought.. we would share a bed together, and stay up all night talking
but then I felt him pulled away-- like he didn't want to live in the world we made together any more
he wanted to live in the world with other people
the world where I don't fit

has anyone ever felt that way?
If you havent, I am jealous; if you have I am sad for you but at least I'm not by myself here

and to bed... another day...

Sucks about the break up.

Hope you feel better soon.

Xmas seems to be the time where people get so wrapped up in showing that they care, that they forget to show that they care.

Don't know if it's the feel you have, I feel quite often misunderstood which makes me feel alone as well. But there are some nice moments, ray of hope, that make the life worth living - kind of. My ex broke up with me, too, - in 2011. It was the longest relationship I ever had, we hadn't had the sex either - also for many different reasons (I loved her, so I didn't real care; right now I don't know if she did love me). I wish she did, but I don't know for different reasons, different things she did or sometimes didn't. She broke a promise, which led me to my current situation - which is, although it's 2 yrs ago - still something bad. That's the first relationship I wish I could change for different reasons I kind of regret some decisions I made, not the relationship but some within.

Anyway, the reasons of being alone may differ, but being alone is quite the same IMO.

Hope you'll feel better soon.

I can get that. It seems counterintuitive but sometimes Xmas can be the loneliest time of year for people who don't have family nearby/strained relations. The crowds especially make you feel very anonymous, and it's a bad time to break up.

I'm in the same position myself so all I can recommend is the practical things I'm doing: Find an orphan christmas function in your city, whether it be with acquaintances or just a public one.
Secondly Xmas makes this difficult, but hit meetup sites hard and just play the numbers game until you end up with one or two regular groups you feel ok spending time with. It'll feel weird at first but stick with it.. no idea if you're autistic or anything but I seem to be doing fine.

As for the actual feeling of loneliness despite whatever you may be doing, let me know if you ever figure that out. Distraction does seem to help though. Really hope you feel better soon.

(I'm fully aware that public things suck while alone. I hear you. But if you're bored you may have time to catch some of these. http://queens.about.com/od/holidays/a/holidays.htm

http://queens-new-york.meetup.com/ )

I kind of feel lonely sometimes. I am actually a very by-myself person. There are tons of things I don't do or don't do with other people.

It is alright though. I hardly ever notice and feel up and good about life. Sometimes, there are times when wanting to do something or missing my old, overly social life. I feel lonely or like there is something to fix.

It is weird getting so far away from everyone that it would take effort to decide whether or not to go do something with someone. However, I trust that it will work itself out. I really needed to focus on study and work for such a long time. I stopped hanging out with friends so much and it is difficult meeting someone new. I know my life is still happening, improving and continuing with other, different experiences, so it is alright.

Hello Delphina,
I'm sorry you feel so lonely; I can relate to you though. Every time around Christmas time I get very lonely and tend to become isolated. Sorry to hear about the break up, I recently went through one too and it was hard for me to get up in the morning sometimes. I've never fit into this world believe it or not, so I can totally relate to you. Trust me I've felt this way many many times. If you ever wish to talk to someone, pm me cause I really have no one to talk too anymore. Most of all my friends are married, have boyfriends or lost contact with me. I'm pretty much a loner now.

Thank you for posting this Delphina. I was just going back into the Holiday Spirit without even thinking about it.

Thinking about it, my Grandmother bought some egg nog and made some turkey sandwiches after Thanksgiving.

Anyway, having the holiday stuff around helps feel cheerful. I bought some egg nog and got my Santa socks out of a drawer.

Maybe there is something festive you can do. I got another Christmas bow and stuffed teddy bear ornament for $3, on sale, at the grocery store.