The Gay Porn Thread
Parody thread!
|
*chirp chirp chirp*
|
I love gay porn.
|
I am so here! *wicked grin*
|
CAMERA PANS SLOWLY ACROSS A DIMLY LIT ROOM. TIMELESS REBELLION IS SPRAWLED ACROSS A SILK COVERED BED SURROUNDED BY CANDLES, A PHOTO CLUTCHED TIGHTLY IN ONE HAND. HIS OTHER HAND CLUTCHS HIS COCK LIKE IT'S ABOUT TO DROWN AS HE MUMBLES TO HIMSELF.
'Oh god yeah KK you dirty bitch.......I know you like that......yeaaaaaah' CAMERA ZOOMS IN ON THE PHOTO TO SHOW KK'S SMILING FACE. |
Quote:
Way to go MissC - you are a Legend. |
At this moment, KK walks through the door wearing nothing but a pair of tight boxers and a towel over his shoulder.
|
gay porn is great! too bad about all the buggery...
|
"What the hell are you doing?!" he yelled loudly.
"K-Kontan! I didn't think you were home!" replied Timeless, his cheeks turning red. "You sick fuck! Get out of my room!" yelled Kontan, but not-so-secretly, he wanted Timeless to stay. Noticing the significant growth in Kontan's boxers, Timeless giggled and replied: "Why don't you make me?" |
TR - legend!
|
"Alright, I just might!" Kontan replied, his face no more than an inch from Timeless' face.
"Just how are you gon..." Timeless started to reply, but he found himself interrupted by Kontan's greedy lips. "Shut up for once!" said Kontan after his lips had let go. Timeless said nothing but put his arms around Kontan and put his hand on Kontan's butt. |
Gay porn is missing that exactly--direction. It's just... not sexy, JUST BECAUSE it comes off as low budget. Not that I've ever paid to see any...
But internet-wise. It needs a new vision! |
On the otherside of town.....
Ape is doing her grocery shopping. Saya is getting awarded her mercenary traders certificate. Versus is knitting a blanket for homeless politicians. Human Pain is accepting a nobel peace prize. Angelic Dis, is being awarded "Best ringlets ever" award by the International Hairdressing association. Despanan is in tears at KK's deceit. Jin is kicking butt on a computer game. MissC is kicking butt in the sex kitten department in her leather outfit. Apathy's dog SAX is teaching dog training classes. (Apathy is having a 'man' period so he's home in bed). While they are waiting for TR to finish his gay porn fantasy with KK..... Ren is practicing beer pong and sword fish fighting. Fruitbat is laying down rubber in her M5 in a carpark, before she gets new tyres on the car for the start of the epic beer pong road trip across america. |
Wait - the dog is teaching the training classes? This could get... surreal. :)
|
Just then, Kontan let his hands slip down to Timeless' hips while holding his eyes closed in ecstacy.
<Blurry fade-out> Fruitbat is lying in her bed while reading magazines on different kinds of fruit after having taken a long, cleansing shower. Through the door walks Saya wearing nothing but two ribbons placed to cover up while revealing as much as possible. |
[A DISTANT GONG SOUNDS.] The natural sunlight suddenly dims, as the curtains flutter with the anticipation of the winds' embrace. They draw it in, like a deep breath, deep and slow, as if holding out against the excitement of a welcome...
[CAMERA PANS TO FRUITBAT'S AWED EXPRESSION, OBSCURED TEMPORARILY BY THE SHADOWS OF LIGHT CLOUDS.] Just then, Saya moves with the subtle grace of a tree's branches waving gently in the breeze, and the sunlight bursts back into the room to highlight the natural curves of her body as she walks. Her every step is like a dance, and then, finally, she arrives at the bedside. She smiles. |
She bends down and places a graceful kiss on the lips of Fruitbat and runs her hand through Fruitbat's hair.
Fruitbat lets out a heavy sigh as she embraces Saya and closes her eyes. |
Then Saya takes a photo of her and Fruitbat kissing, and sends it to Versus to collect on the bet she made with him.
And Fruitbat quickly gets in her car and, no longer waiting for timeless or Ren, takes off on the epic transcontinental roadtrip. |
Saya is now so frustrated that Fruitbat left early that she lies down in the bed, sighs heavily and starts fantasizing about MissCheyenne.
|
Quote:
Interesting way to test a mattress, she thinks, as she stops to watch. CuckooTuli walks up and notices Fruitbat glued to the window: CuckooTuli: Batty, what are you doing? Fruitbat: Watching Timeless and KK play twister. Cuckoo: [facepalms] How fuckin' naive are you batty? Fruitbat: [innocently] so that's not how you play twister? I was barracking for green. SAX walks past with a really cute lady dog. Fruitbat: Yo, Sax how's things? SAX[pissed off]: Fuck Apathy's got his manly period shit happening again. He's in bed watching fuckin disney movies. Again. I came out to get lucky with this bitch and pick him up some more tissues. Fuck he cries like a girl. Fruitbat and CuckooTuli scratches Sax behind the ear and says hello to his lady friend before they head off down the street. EDIT: I refuse to write Sax in with gay dog p0rn. Even I have my limits. |
Hey, you know how to make dog milk?
Red rocket, red rocket! |
I was about to wonder how MC and Apathy would feel about how vanilla this all has been. Until I saw the last post. There's a stomach-churning orgy of bestiality in this yet, I see. :p
|
There's life in it yet. Somewhere. I think. Possibly.
|
I'm not sure I'd consider this canon yet. Thus far, it's all tender, respectful, and consensual. This is not the Gnet way.
That's not to say I didn't cover Sax's eyes with a gasp like a Victorian mother when I saw his name, though. So it's not without controversy... ;) |
Just then CuckooTili (CT) sees Versus walking into the bedding showroom.
CT: [gasps] Umm...er... fruity, I'll see you later. Fruity: [cheerfully] oh are you going to buy a mattress? CT: [mumbling] yeah something like that. CT WALKS INTO THE SHOWROOM AND SHOVES VERSUS FROM BEHIND. CATCHING HIM OFF BALANCE THEY TUMBLE TOGETHER ONTO A MATTRESS, WITH CT ON TOP, PINNING VERSUS TO THE BED. APE WALKS UP TO FRUITY WITH A BIG BUCKET OF POPCORN. Ape: Hi darling [KISSES HER ON THE CHEEK]. Fruity: You're just in time to watch the action, although by the looks of Timeless and KK they have just changed who is the bottom. Although they are both fighting for the honor. Ape: I'm always in for some men on men action. Fruity: Well don't look in the king bed section, because Saya and MissC are getting it on. Ape: I swing both ways. [she gives a flirty smile to fruitbat] CT TEARS VERSUS SHIRT OPEN AND STARTS TO KISS HIS CHEST BEFORE VERSUS FLIPS HIM OVER PINNING HIM TO THE BED FACE DOWN, PULLING HIS PANTS DOWN. Versus: [SCREAMING] Tell me you want it! CT: I want it! I want it! Versus: [mumbling] oh this mattress really is quite springy and comfortable for my knees. CT: [SCREAMING] Will you quit it! I'm losing wood here. VERSUS SLAPS CT'S NAKED BUTT. CT SQUEALS. CT: Yeah that's more like it! VERSUS LOOKS OVER AND SEES SAYA ABOUT TO LAUNCH INTO MISSC. THEY BOTH YELL "FUCK YEAH" TO EACH OTHER BEFORE PLOUGHING INTO THEIR PARTNERS. |
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:50 AM. |