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should i tell her?
Ok theirs a girl at my school (i think i mentioned her b 4) and were friends , but i like her as more than that. I think she's beautiful and fasinating (even if she doesnt act like she knows it) etc but i think if i said some thing there might be a whole "OMG UR A LEZBO" scene
im not sure if she likes girls or not i get a mixed message from her. so should i risk the hole school in my buisness and tell her or should i keep my mouth shut? HELP MEE!!!!!! |
You coax out her priorities.
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what the hell did it just say?
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She said she was unsure of her priorities.
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Okay there's a girl at my school, I think I've mentioned her. We're friends, but I like her more than that. I think she's beautiful, and fascinating even if she doesn't act like it. I think if I said something there might be a whole "OmiGod!!! You're a lezbo!!!!" scene. I'm not sure if she likes girls or not. I get mixed messages from her. So I really need help, should I tell and risk the scene and having the entire school in my business or keep my feelings to myself? Please help me![/Translation] Type in as close to proper English is possible please, others need to be able to read your posts. I suggest that you take her some where quiet but NOT deserted and ask, "Is it just me, or are you sending me more-than-friends messages?" You're her friend you see if she's bluffing. Be very calm and non-confrontational about it, you'll scare her off if you get too loud or angry. Or Truth or Dare Truth: Which way do you swing? Dare: *insert your own dare* That'd be my creative way of going about it. |
First of all.. I am a lesbian.
If you are friends with her and feel that you can trust her, then I would ask her if the two of you can talk. I would tell her that I was gay and tell her that I just needed to tell someone because I felt really lonely not having anyone know about who I really am. I would tell her that I think she is a great friend and that I am really trusting her with this and asking her not to start spreading rumours about it or freak out over it. At this stage I wouldn't tell her that I was interested in her. I would leave it for a couple of months and let her digest the news, let her realise that you are the same person that she has always known and that it doesn't matter whether you are gay, straight or bi. Depending on how she deals with the news, after a few months if you still feel the same about her then you can approach the subject with her. Tell her that you are interested in her, that you think she is intelligent, pretty, funny and that you enjoy spending tie with her. Tell her that you don't want her to feel pressured or uncomfortable around you, but that you find her attractive. Tell her that if she doesn't feel the same way about you, then that is fine... but you just wanted to know how she did feel about you. Tell her that even if she doesn't feel attracted to you that you want to keep her friendship because that is what is important to you, and ask her not to feel uncomfortable with you because you are still the same person that she's always known. Assure her that you aren't going to do or say anything that will make her feel uncomfortable around you, and that you just want to stay friends. Tell her that if she needs some time to digest this then you'll leave her alone for a while so that she can think about it, but ask her to get back to you when she's thought about it. If she does want time to think about that, then give her space to do so. Just treat her the same as you always have... no flirting, no little comments, no compliments. She is going to be over-sensitive and hyper-aware of anything that you say for a while, so you just have to play things cool. If she is really a friend it will settle back into how things were, though. You just have to be patient with her. |
If I ever take an interest in another female, I am DEFINITELY taking the advice given above. Delicate_Torture put it all very well.
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I second that, relationships aren't usually my forte.
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Wait why would the whole school find out if you told her about your feelings? Is her mouth that big?
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Although i say take Delicate_Torture thats pretty much what i was gonna say too. |
I find that whole message really strange
Though to me it seems like a real lesbian would not shout things like "Look I might be a lesbian" |
Um... Who shouted that?
I don't think questioning whether or not the original poster is gay or not is really helpful. She's confused, and questioning her sexuality enough as it is. |
I was watching TV one day (SURPRISE!) and a lesbian was defending another woman who had been on a show. She stated that sexuality cannot be lumped into categories, but it is more of a spectrum. People fall into different places on that spectrum.
For instance, I consider myself straight, but that's only because I have never had feelings for someone who wasn't male (well, not entirely). But I am not über straight by any means, and I am curious of my sexuality and how far I can take it outside of just males. Though still straight, I am closer to a midsection in the spectrum than many (which would be similar to pansexuality). |
The bad thing about that theory is that it allows jerks to tell a woman "You're just a lesbian because you haven't met the right guy."
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It's not a theory, it's true.
Besides, you misunderstood me. Like I said, it's a spectrum, and there will be people who reside in one extreme or the other. Others will vary in between. |
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Along with 'Hey, baby... you won't want to be gay after I've fucked you.' ...You're right. I'll want to be sick after you've fucked me. Now get away from me before I vomit on your shoes, you twat... |
You got sent to an all girls school while gay? That is just wow...priceless. I like a woman in a Catholic girl uniform by the way. Hehe
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Fuck her. And yeah, fuck her.
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Its not that im scared of what they will think, i dont want to hear about it all day long every day ppl tend to harp on the same things over and over and over. And as for what i am sexualy im bi i geuss i don care if your a girl or guy if your sexy your sexy.
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Yes (I didn't read any of this, but I am sure it's about how you adore her, and think she's the best thing since eating meatloaf on a thursday when friday is meatloaf night).
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I have a plethora of criteria when it comes to my SO. It's not that I'm not picky, because I am. It's just that gender is not among my criteria. |
"gender blind" now thats a great term.
i hate meat loaf. ick |
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It is high school. There is no telling only one person. It will get out. Be prepared. I had something like this a while back. Some people send those vibes to *everyone*. So what I would say is, watch how she acts toward others for a bit instead of how she acts toward you. If it looks like the attention coming your way is unusual for her, not just unusual for people, then that's a good sign. Third, if you are anything like me, you will regret the things you do NOT do in life a lot more than the things you DO do. So whatever you do don't just sit on it. Let it fly or crash and burn as it will. There are other horizons. The only proviso being of course that if you are not ready to deal with coming out of the closet, you have to address that issue first. Drake |
she doesnt really hang with every one... just me and a few other people and there is only 1 other person i see her give attention to and they will NEVER get together it would be like the twighlight zone if they did.
as for how she acts toward me..well she touches me alot nothing really sexual but more than normal and im generally the only girl she hangs out with besides our budy dd but well dd is so straight laced its painful. i geuss i'll play truth or dare and try to get a straight answer. |
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:D |
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