Pets from hell
 

I am seriously pissed at my pets!
They shit in the bathtub, on the bathroom floor, in the indoor plants, on the dirty laundry, and go practically everywhere else other than the toilet! Right now one of the cats or the almost-teenage kitten has diharrea, so every few days, I'm in the bathroom mopping up remains of diharrea. The cats and almost-teenage kitten have almost annhilated my canopy, destroyed groceries, attempted to eat electrical wires, climb on my dresser or kitchen counters or other desk and knock off cds and jewelry and kitchen items! Two of them have worms and love to get on my bed and spread their fun. Almost each night, I'm taking a lint roller and going over my bed! I have tried all sorts of things as: spray bottles, impromptu icy-baths, and putting them in their cages for a little while, but they still persist!!!!
The dog, on the other hand, is trained, but has Dialated Cardiomiopethy (aka Heart Failure) and he's been doing okay, but he is going to die, so there's been several nasty things that I clean because no one else will. He vomits a lot and so I have to clean it. He's taking medication that causes him to drink lots of water and so he has to go out almost every thirty minutes to an hour. Sometimes, he loves to go out just to hear the other dogs in the neighborhood barking, so he hides and I get to play an undesired game of hide-and-seek for a little while. Sometimes one of the brothers forgets to take him out on a leash and he scurries out a hole and begins to run off around the neighborhood. As a dog with heart failure, running will increase his chances of heart attack and instant death. Also, we have LOTS of college kids who text while driving, so he has a fair chance of being run over.

Does anyone have a similiar problem that had an excellent solution? I AM DESPERATE!!!!!!

Take 'em out back and shoot 'em.

Then get new ones.

Well, the younger cat, which I'm assuming since you define it as teenage, is I'm assuming 6-12 months old, will of course have a lot of energy and encourage the older one. I have a 14 year old cat and a 6 year old one. The younger one is spunky and she hypes up the old one and they still wrestle.
Continue with the spray bottle when they do naughty things. I don't know why you would cage a cat in your house other than closing them in a room.

If the younger one is have diarrhea often, he needs to see a vet. Not only is he probably having a hard time controlling his bowels, he is probably getting comfortable peeing and crapping all over. Therefore, the other cat will think he is marking his scent OR think it is ok, and will follow the trend and go to the bathroom.

Putting them in a room with their litter box, as when they were kitten, may help, and cleaning your rugs to get rid of the scent. As for the spunkiness, if they have claws, try getting those filing mechanisms (I don't know what they are called but they are easier and less painful for the animal). I know my cats settled down when we file their claws, and are less tempted to cause terror.

Both of them need to go to the vet if they have worms. Especially if they have pin worms, which is easssillly contagious to humans, and no one likes pin worms in their ass including your cats.

So if they are yours or your parents animals, take the initiative to get them checked out before something serious happens. We are the caregivers to our animals, and when we adopt/buy them we are responsible for their health. :)

The SPCA & Woman's Human Society offer good, and cheap pet care opposed to normal vets.

Ask them about the cable chewing, and other ways to settle your cats down!

I don't own a dog, especially an ill one so I can't help.

Thanx for the advice.
The reason they keep going everywhere (and I apologize I had not posted it before) is because of this thing called a Litter Qwitter that teaches the cats & kitten how to use the human toilet. They were almost finished with training around Christmas, but my family and I went on vacation. At the vet, they used litter boxes for almost 2 weeks. When they got home, they forgot about their Litter Qwitter and now its been chaos ever since. Attempting to convince mum to screw the Litter Qwitter and revert to the litter box.

That Little Qwitter thing is amusing. I have been witness to my cat drinking from the toilet, then turning around and pissing in it, which was really surprising, because he learned it on his own.

Are you feeding your cats milk or any other dairy products? It will give them diarrhea.

Other than that, I don't know much about rambunctious cats as all of mine have been typical.

Not any dairy products I can think of.

Pyre, you should have seen the box it came in. It was bright orange and reads "The Original World Famous Cat Toilet Training System: Doogie's Litter Kwitter" "Say goodbye to the litter tray forever!" Below these words, there was what seems to be a koran cat that is shitting into the toilet, with its head tilted slightly to the left. The rest read "No More Mess, No More Germs, No More Smells, No More Hassle, Works for All Cats, Saves Money on Litter, and More Hygienic than a Tray"
It is silly.

That sounds amazing. I want to buy it and just display it in my apartment next year.

Those cats need to release their energy in less destructive ways. Have you tried catnip-filled toys? They'll usually distract cats from most other forms of less desirable entertainment. Dangling said toys from sticks and whirling them around will usually get the cats pretty well knackered after a while.

The diarrhea could be caused by a change in food. If they're eating food that's usually fine for them though, definitely get that checked out by a vet (and get all your pets de-wormed!).

I'm sorry to hear about your dog's condition. A few years ago I helped look after my housemate's dog as he was dying of anal cancer. Not surprisingly he, too, produced some rather icky messes to clean up... Anyway it sounds like your brothers need to either shape up and remember the leash, or you should try to take him out yourself as much as possible. Also if he's at all trained with newspaper as some dogs are, perhaps keep some in an easily cleaned area of the house so he doesn't always have to go outside? Sort of an indoor doggy litter tray. We did that for our chronically ill puppy, and although we had to change the newspaper rather frequently, it was a hell of a lot easier than taking her out every ten minutes.

I've got 3 cats. a 7yr old, 2yr old and a kitten thats 7 months. My kitten is the snobbies pain in the arse out. She goes out for the loo now (thank god) but up until about a month ago she was using a litter tray. I changed to a paper based litter and she refused to use it and showed her protest by crapping everywhere. Under the sofas, in the bath, behind the toilet, on 1 of the kids school bags once. As soon as I changed back to a gritty litter, she was fine. Bloody cheek. I've never known such a fussy cat, and she was hand reared too! Biggest problem now is shes a hunter, just like her mum. There wont be any mice or birds near my garden pretty soon.

I recommend spraying citronella oil around the cables and your bed. Cats hate it and wont go near it.

My family´s been breeding cats for years, so I know cats. Usually when cats shit or pee all over the place it is either A) a training thing, B) they´re pissed at you for some reason or C) they have a mental problem. In case A you´ll have to very persistently retrain them. This may become a problem in adult cats, as they get very quickly set in their ways and resist change. Younger cats below the age of 1 year usually are a bit easier to handle in this respect. The way my family litter trains cats is to put them in the litter box and show them where to do their business. If they do it somewhere else, put them in the litter box and tell them they´ve been bad. Our cats and kittens are so well trained they even do not mind being carried around like a human baby. Revard your cats with cuddling, "good boy/ girl" and catnip when they´ve been good. In case B, you will have to find out what the problem is. Food placed too close to the litter box or whatever you use is a problem, for instance. Try adding or removing things to see how they react. Also, cats do not like certain cleaning agents like Ammonium chloride or chlorine, and will shit and pee like hell if you use anything containing these substances. In case C, that´s a bummer. We had a cat who had this problem once, and we had to put her to sleep in the end because there wasn´t anything either we or the vet could do.

In any case, talk to your vet about these problems. They usually know how to handle these things.

My cat is not very friendly sometimes. When I walk by her in the hall she might chase my heels and grab them with her claws. She is aggressive with strangers.
But she is my little princess. And when I am gone, she misses me, and goes into my dresser and rifles around. When I get back, there are socks all in the hall. She lugged my socks out into the hall. That is allot of work for a little one!
When I get up the stairs, she will be sitting on my speaker, it breaks my heart to think of the real possibility that she might have been sitting right there the whole time I was gone in anticipation for my return.
She allways looks so cheerful when I get back!

But just before I leave, when I put my coat on she gets hyper, she chases after me and gets in my way. She knows her best friend is going somewhere!

Sometimes when I am sitting at my desk she will go into my bedroom and grab a sock and carry it to me in the other room. It is so sweet when she meows with the sock in her mouth and she drops it at my feet. I then promptly snuggle her to let her know that she did a good job.

I've heard of this, but wasn't sure if it would work. Also heard of putting orange peel or lemon peel in plant pots.

My only gripe with mine is that they insist on using my gardens as their toilet. I need to look into getting lion poo, because it's seriously annoying!

De-worm the cats, don't give them milk, and keep treats or scraps VERY small. Other than that it's just a question of patience and vigilance; keep an eye on the places they go and the stances the take when they dump (watch out for this after they've eaten in particular). When you see them heading off, put them in the litter tray. Do this every time they look like taking a shit. It takes time but they will learn. If the older cat craps anywhere else, use a sharp voice on her and put her out for a little while. The kittens should pick it up a lot more easily, but you have to be consistent.

The dog - well, it's simple. Keep him on his leash, and if our brother can't remember to do this then don't let him take the dog out.

You should 86 the cats and get yourself a Leopard Gecko they litter box train and when they fail to use it they only shit in their own bed as they are still inside a tank. They also can outlive cats but probably not when they live with cats. Cats are instinctive and better kept outside, also they dig in cat litter then take those same claws and dig them into everything in the house including you.

...but cats are furry...

Why? Why did you have to go and play Thread Necro?

I was wondering the same thing Anarasha.
I also wonder how the Lady and her furry friends are doing.
Hopefully the furries have had complete look-overs by a good Vet. Sometimes their bad behavior is a way of telling us humans they aren't physically feeling well.