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Search: Posts Made By: How Low Can You Go Moe
Forum: Music 02-20-2008, 05:38 PM
Replies: 24
Views: 4,540
On my first date with this girl I asked her if I...

On my first date with this girl I asked her if I could read her a poem. By the intimacy of candlelight, I said

And when you CLOSE your eyes,
strrr-etchy fingers reach down and...
CARESS YOUR...
Forum: General 02-08-2008, 03:11 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 4,038
That "zinger" gets maybe a .5. Out of...

That "zinger" gets maybe a .5.



Out of like fifty.
Forum: General 02-08-2008, 02:34 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 4,038
Appeals court: First Amendment protects forum trolls too

http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20080207-appeals-court-first-amendment-protects-forum-trolls-too.html?

Now that the best constitution ever written has designated this type of behavior...
Forum: Whining 02-03-2008, 12:07 AM
Replies: 18
Views: 5,655
Fuck "u" man, you never like my poetry wtf ur...

Fuck "u" man, you never like my poetry wtf ur problem
Forum: Literature 02-03-2008, 12:06 AM
Replies: 17
Views: 5,501
So like I was saying, Shakespeare was a huge...

So like I was saying, Shakespeare was a huge nerd, and so are you.
Forum: TV, Movies, & Games 02-03-2008, 12:06 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,865
It was actually a very fine flick. I hate to talk...

It was actually a very fine flick. I hate to talk shit on the cinematography, but it really wasn't that bad. I suggest that all of goth-kind go see it.
Forum: Whining 01-25-2008, 02:59 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,497
Okay, how's this: visit the most ancient,...

Okay, how's this: visit the most ancient, crumbling, and ivy-infested mausoleum available to you. Exorcise and trap in the blackest of bottles as many of the groaning clouds of the dead as you can....
Forum: Introductions 01-24-2008, 04:55 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 1,524
Oh, I forgot about that, yeah it was a Misfits...

Oh, I forgot about that, yeah it was a Misfits shout out.

But Miron, seriously, you should have been at the international planning summit when they thought that one up. Beer bottles everywhere.
Forum: Whining 01-24-2008, 04:48 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,497
Not the way I spell it, it doesn't. Besides, I...

Not the way I spell it, it doesn't. Besides, I have tomb-cred out the "lychgate", so there's license.

But jealous hataz aside, Po-Mo Gi, be as goth as me and you'll get the privileges you seek.
Forum: General 01-24-2008, 04:46 PM
Replies: 117
Views: 11,129
I demonstrate various schizotypal symptoms. The...

I demonstrate various schizotypal symptoms. The diagnostic criteria as published in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, volume V is detailed below:

1. ideas of reference...
Forum: Literature 01-24-2008, 04:36 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 998
Where the Hell is All the Prose? Huh?

Am I the only one who notices and is furious over the fact that for every twenty of the lot of your poems, there's maybe one piece of prose? And that's only during Short Fiction Appreciation Week....
Forum: Whining 01-24-2008, 04:27 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,497
The problem is that you're simply not goth enough...

The problem is that you're simply not goth enough for these privileges. OD on absinthe and finish the drink with Roz Williams, and maybe you'll get some tomb-cred.
Forum: Introductions 01-21-2008, 05:00 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 1,524
I wasn't aware that either had anything to do...

I wasn't aware that either had anything to do with any of the lies I told in my intro. Whatchoo talkin bout?
Forum: Introductions 01-20-2008, 10:27 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 1,524
Aloha!

My name's Ravenmeister because my parents were birds, but also because I was born a goth. My favorite gothic rock bands are the Beach Boys and Billie Holiday, but I like a lot of other music too,...
Forum: Whining 01-20-2008, 10:11 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,452
It's about damn time they lancet this repulsive...

It's about damn time they lancet this repulsive tumor on the face of my country. As someone who's been there, it sure doesn't feel like America when you're looking down at the pointy tip of a tack,...
Forum: Music 01-20-2008, 02:54 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 1,802
You're all full of shit; here's the real scoop: ...

You're all full of shit; here's the real scoop:

1. Busta Rhymes - Touch It
2. Sex Gang Children - Dieche
3. Naked and the Dead - Taboo
4. Specimen - Syria
4. 45 Grave - Insurance from God
5....
Forum: Literature 01-20-2008, 02:16 PM
Replies: 17
Views: 5,501
You make your own thread for your filthy...

You make your own thread for your filthy purposeful literary criticism, wantwit! We analyze fake passages at the Kool Kidz Thread.

OBTW, UO, quit giving away all my secrets, it keeps my Libido...
Forum: Whining 01-20-2008, 02:06 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,452
My thoughts exactly. Such boorish behavior in...

My thoughts exactly. Such boorish behavior in this thread.

My pro-pro foes get a huge wag from my "fucking for free" finger. Don't you realize a two-year-old desperado just lost his life?
Forum: Whining 01-20-2008, 12:10 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,452
You'll all be happy to know that the police...

You'll all be happy to know that the police killed Bobe in a shootout in the middle of I-80. Perhaps you'll see it on your daily news program.

The good news is that they found most of my money on...
Forum: Music 01-20-2008, 11:10 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 2,198
WILHELMINA! Of course! Slowly but surely Dieche...

WILHELMINA! Of course! Slowly but surely Dieche becomes intelligible.


Perhaps for this sin you'll eat your children baked in a pie. Then all will be in balance.
Forum: General 01-20-2008, 11:06 AM
Replies: 31
Views: 3,430
Just to extinguish the flames, agnosticism is a...

Just to extinguish the flames, agnosticism is a perfectly sinless belief system. My dad's an agnostic. It always just tuned my funny-fork that the belief is that maybe there is a god. I mean, not...
Forum: Whining 01-20-2008, 12:15 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,452
I need advice!

Okay, guys, this is really important. My friend Jake has this kid, I think he's two now, and his name's Bobe.

He got to my apartment today and told me that he tricked his dad Jake into leaving him...
Forum: TV, Movies, & Games 01-19-2008, 11:58 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,865
1-800-i-kill-u!

What are your thoughts on this new movie, '1-800-I-KILL-U!?' It's about a killer phone, and when it rings, you pick it up and a bunch of teeth come out of the receiver. It's sort of a neo-realist...
Forum: General 01-19-2008, 11:46 PM
Replies: 21
Views: 4,725
Do you smoke? "When I'm aflame." Have you ever...

Do you smoke? "When I'm aflame."
Have you ever attempted to quit? "I'm into commitment."
Were you successful at quitting? "I failed to fail to smoke."
Why did you decide to quit or attempt? "Too...
Forum: General 01-19-2008, 11:25 PM
Replies: 60
Views: 12,603
I've come further in a week or so than most have...

I've come further in a week or so than most have in their entire lives. I was promoted from "Thou Needst a Wet Nurse" to "Thou art a Smite-Meister," as measured by the gothometric standard.

I'd...
Forum: General 01-19-2008, 11:17 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,557
We don't even know whether or not to tell you...

We don't even know whether or not to tell you we've decided to like you. We're going on muffin here.
Forum: General 01-19-2008, 11:15 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 3,430
You're just a ball-less atheist. All the...

You're just a ball-less atheist. All the scum-sucking agnostics are.
Forum: Music 01-18-2008, 06:29 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 2,198
But what lyric could have so universal and...

But what lyric could have so universal and profound meaning as "Waiting to light up like a doggy in death row-woo-oo?"
Forum: Music 01-18-2008, 06:17 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 2,198
That could very well be. As official as these...

That could very well be. As official as these lyrics have been made out to be, they are in fact a work in progress.

Initially I thought "cut up your bones" was "cut off your balls," Make of that...
Forum: Literature 01-18-2008, 06:10 PM
Replies: 17
Views: 5,501
No one seems to be paying enough attention to the...

No one seems to be paying enough attention to the fact that the two passages were doctored to make my point that Bill 'the Bard' Shaxper was a closed-minded goth-basher. This isn't about racism or...
Forum: Music 01-18-2008, 06:04 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 2,198
What, too goth for the Sex Gang Children?

What, too goth for the Sex Gang Children?
Forum: Music 01-18-2008, 06:02 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 1,136
The silliest thing of all is that they do in fact...

The silliest thing of all is that they do in fact sound like the three fat hamburger men.
Forum: Music 01-18-2008, 12:44 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 2,198
Dieche!

First on the agenda, I'd just like to bring up the fact that 'dieche' probably isn't a word. No worries, though, it's fun to use it as a curse. Behold: "Ay, dieche! I stubbed my toe!"

Second, the...
Forum: Music 01-17-2008, 08:44 PM
Replies: 72
Views: 13,937
I only listen to mutant wave.

I only listen to mutant wave.
Forum: Introductions 01-17-2008, 08:39 PM
Replies: 18
Views: 2,761
Hey, welcome. Just say you're bros with me....

Hey, welcome. Just say you're bros with me. Everybody'll adore you.
Forum: Literature 01-17-2008, 08:34 PM
Replies: 17
Views: 5,501
Thanks for Believing Me, Corpsey

On that note, guess who she based his life on?
I can't believe you had to select this shit to figure out that I meant myself.
For the still-skeptical among you, they didn't call him Shakespeare for...
Forum: Literature 01-17-2008, 08:21 PM
Replies: 54
Views: 17,829
The roses are a nice touch, but the cognac is...

The roses are a nice touch, but the cognac is probably what gets Eddie's bones all a-rattle.
Forum: Shill 01-17-2008, 08:17 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,786
For when it is time to choose a signature: ...

For when it is time to choose a signature:

Nail your wrists to the wall,
This is the Catholic party bah-oh-wah-oh-wah-all!
Forum: General 01-17-2008, 08:12 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 3,430
Yeah, who's needs Christ when you have Cthulhu,...

Yeah, who's needs Christ when you have Cthulhu, and his apostles, Limozeen?
Forum: General 01-17-2008, 11:18 AM
Replies: 31
Views: 3,430
You see this eyeless cavefish shouting the word...

You see this eyeless cavefish shouting the word "Damnit!" And you say, "For what reason?" And he says "Who is it?" And you say, "What do you need?" And he screams back, "You're an idiot! Give me some...
Forum: Fashion 01-17-2008, 10:59 AM
Replies: 2,730
Views: 460,169
Why, nothing at all. Thanks for asking.

Why, nothing at all. Thanks for asking.
Forum: Literature 01-17-2008, 10:55 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,660
Sounds like Besy. I've chatted her up a smidge....

Sounds like Besy. I've chatted her up a smidge. She ignored me though. Probably just her mouthlessness.
Forum: Shill 01-17-2008, 10:48 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,786
Why not go ahead and buy stock in your brand of...

Why not go ahead and buy stock in your brand of cigarettes? You're already giving them hundreds of dollars a month to keep the fire burnin' bright, so why not just buy a few shares? A hundred bucks...
Forum: Spooky News 01-17-2008, 10:38 AM
Replies: 31
Views: 3,203
It's because the rest of the world, with their...

It's because the rest of the world, with their "rudimentary schooling" refuses to know the truth. They'll hastily chalk it up to, say, an airplane, a frisbee, something in their eye, the moon, or any...
Forum: Literature 01-17-2008, 10:22 AM
Replies: 17
Views: 5,501
Gee, guys, I try to do a favor for some people...

Gee, guys, I try to do a favor for some people and look at the thanks I get. I hope you can live with yourselves after realizing on your own that the English language's "greatest" gift was a...
Forum: Introductions 01-16-2008, 05:46 PM
Replies: 39
Views: 3,871
I think it's as clear as a phantom that I'm not a...

I think it's as clear as a phantom that I'm not a troll. I was made of meat during life, just like you, Mr. Boy, and I was as brainy as a scarecrow (post-Wiz. of Oz, of course).

Anyway, the...
Forum: Whining 01-16-2008, 05:41 PM
Replies: 110
Views: 6,896
You're all dumbasses. Goth and Emo are the same...

You're all dumbasses. Goth and Emo are the same thing. In the early 1980's, when the whole goth scene was taking off in England like a cloud of the blood-hungriest bats, there was a small and very...
Forum: Introductions 01-16-2008, 05:32 PM
Replies: 39
Views: 3,871
For all the far-flung suspicions about my torrid...

For all the far-flung suspicions about my torrid love affair with that fiery coquette Signe, I sure am getting complimented a lot more than I expected.

Thx for the brain-massage, pals!
Forum: Literature 01-16-2008, 05:24 PM
Replies: 17
Views: 5,501
You Shakespeare Lovers Should Rethink it All

Seriously though, how can you support, or worse, enjoy a dramatist who indulges in hate-speech, as evidenced in the following passages from the Most Lamentable Tragedie of Titus Andronicus, as it was...
Forum: Introductions 01-16-2008, 03:47 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 1,894
So how come you guys like the 'Salut Website!'...

So how come you guys like the 'Salut Website!' introduction better than 'I Anticipate...'? I think this one's way funnier.
Forum: Introductions 01-16-2008, 03:43 PM
Replies: 39
Views: 3,871
I'm not a troll, I'm a ghost! You oughta get your...

I'm not a troll, I'm a ghost! You oughta get your supernatural zoology straight before you look like a G.D. idiot.
Forum: Music 01-16-2008, 03:39 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 2,769
Suck on this one:...

Suck on this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4yndU6NqUE
Forum: Whining 01-15-2008, 10:35 PM
Replies: 98
Views: 6,050
No, no. Gother than thee.

No, no. Gother than thee.
Forum: General 01-15-2008, 10:28 PM
Replies: 393
Views: 36,319
Noise > Ears > Punctures > Injuries > Ice ...

Noise > Ears > Punctures > Injuries > Ice

Farms
Shipwrecks
Forum: Introductions 01-15-2008, 10:17 PM
Replies: 39
Views: 3,871
At the same time? Some people get...

At the same time?



Some people get guiltier than others. I'm just unfortunate enough to fit with the former. This group of people experience so much guilt that the bladder tries to rid the body...
Forum: Shill 01-15-2008, 09:56 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,786
Ghosts are actually just really thin Iowans.

Ghosts are actually just really thin Iowans.
Forum: General 01-15-2008, 09:54 PM
Replies: 63
Views: 16,624
Yeah, Gothic.net stands on a proud tradition of...

Yeah, Gothic.net stands on a proud tradition of inexcusable sexism.
Forum: Whining 01-15-2008, 09:52 PM
Replies: 27
Views: 2,755
That's how ghosts are born.

That's how ghosts are born.
Forum: Introductions 01-15-2008, 07:17 PM
Replies: 39
Views: 3,871
Thank you all very much for welcoming the shit...

Thank you all very much for welcoming the shit out of me, especially everyone who thinks I'm some kind of spectral medium to speak to this mysterious Signe valkyrie of whom so much is spoken.
...
Forum: Whining 01-15-2008, 07:11 PM
Replies: 27
Views: 2,755
Now Entering Chill City. Pop.: You and Me

Okay, I can see there's some high tension in this thread. Let me just cool everybody off and we'll see where it takes us:

As soon as I figure out how to type the sound that you hear when you blow...
Forum: Introductions 01-15-2008, 07:06 PM
Replies: 39
Views: 3,871
How did you figure out my bubonic secret? What...

How did you figure out my bubonic secret? What mastermental deduction brought you to so hatefully revealing a conclusion? And what makes you think I'm a girl?

Plz'd to meet the whole rotten mess...
Forum: Introductions 01-15-2008, 06:56 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 1,894
I'm happy to hear that most of you are goth...

I'm happy to hear that most of you are goth enough to make friends with ghosts. To those among you who are not, well, I suggest that you go and "shoot hoops" with your "bros."
Forum: Spooky News 01-15-2008, 06:52 PM
Replies: 28
Views: 3,016
I hear ya, brother. Not that I'm a snitch or...

I hear ya, brother. Not that I'm a snitch or anything, it's just that even a ghost doesn't want eagles on his bad side. Brrrr...

Seriously, though, with my testimony, that bird woulda fried.
Forum: Whining 01-15-2008, 06:46 PM
Replies: 89
Views: 8,081
No no, you have me all wrong, trash is good,...

No no, you have me all wrong, trash is good, like, "Boy, that movie sure was an odorly pile of trash." Alternatively, "What a trashy day for a walk outside!"
Forum: Whining 01-15-2008, 06:43 PM
Replies: 27
Views: 2,755
Aw shit, Signe! What are you doing here? This...

Aw shit, Signe! What are you doing here? This thread is about me! Also wind and ghosts. But not you.
Forum: Whining 01-15-2008, 11:23 AM
Replies: 27
Views: 2,755
No, what? I'm scary! Check it out: ...

No, what? I'm scary! Check it out:

OOOooOOOoOoooooOOOOOoOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That chilled even me, and my usual temperature is like, close to below freezing!
Forum: Whining 01-15-2008, 11:21 AM
Replies: 89
Views: 8,081
Alla yalls started the drama. I'm just trying to...

Alla yalls started the drama. I'm just trying to use my ghostly ways to help out however I can. It's a sad story about me, and I'm using my powers for good so I can get the "hell" off of this rock...
Forum: Whining 01-15-2008, 11:16 AM
Replies: 27
Views: 2,755
Funny story actually. I was all set to get my...

Funny story actually. I was all set to get my underworld on, but when I got to the Styx, this new guy in a fancy-ass motorboat, he said his name was Craig, told me Charon was taking a sick-century.
...
Forum: Introductions 01-15-2008, 11:03 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 1,894
I anticipate a "new" friendship with the lot of you

“’Ello” all, my name “is” Moe and I’m fantastic at limbo. I won a few contests in my hometown of Cornfield Iowa. I’m a goth too, so I decided to join gothic.net. I don’t especially like gothic rock,...
Forum: Introductions 01-15-2008, 11:01 AM
Replies: 39
Views: 3,871
Typical American education. Check a globe for...

Typical American education. Check a globe for crepe sake! They're like not even a foot from each other!

Alternatively:

I'm a ghost so I'm magic.
Forum: Shill 01-15-2008, 10:58 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,786
As a 12 and 188 year old Iowan ghost who works...

As a 12 and 188 year old Iowan ghost who works for Google, I think it's safe to say that I know what I'm talking about when I talk about rates.

Did you know the rates in 2008 are at all all time...
Forum: Whining 01-15-2008, 10:51 AM
Replies: 27
Views: 2,755
You guys should go out on a windy night a chill...

You guys should go out on a windy night a chill with me. Because, as a ghost, I can't heat up.

LIMBO'S BORING HLP ME PLZZZZZZZZZ
Forum: Whining 01-15-2008, 10:47 AM
Replies: 89
Views: 8,081
Don't worry about that trash Signe. I'll just...

Don't worry about that trash Signe. I'll just haunt her until she shapes up. You should be glad I came here when I did; she's terrified of ghosts.
Forum: Whining 01-15-2008, 10:45 AM
Replies: 27
Views: 2,755
That's a little socially ignorant. When you hear...

That's a little socially ignorant. When you hear the wind, it's the miserable groaning of unsaved but undamned ghosts, like me. When you feel the wind, it's those same ghosts banging into you because...
Forum: General 01-15-2008, 10:42 AM
Replies: 48
Views: 4,441
Q: Which goth has the most comfortable feet? ...

Q: Which goth has the most comfortable feet?

A: Shiouxsie Shioux!!
Forum: Music 01-15-2008, 10:35 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 1,127
What can I say, it's one hell of a song.

What can I say, it's one hell of a song.
Forum: Spooky News 01-15-2008, 10:34 AM
Replies: 28
Views: 3,016
That's true. However, I do know a bald eagle who...

That's true. However, I do know a bald eagle who decapitated someone else with a homemade guillotine. The fuzz never pieced that one together...
Forum: Whining 01-15-2008, 10:31 AM
Replies: 27
Views: 2,755
It's way too windy outside )-..:

Oh, wait, it's just me wailing for the end of my tenure here in limbo.

You thought Signe thought she had it gothically rough. Check me out. I'm not even alive.
Forum: Introductions 01-15-2008, 10:25 AM
Replies: 39
Views: 3,871
As Signe's best and most honorable companion, I...

As Signe's best and most honorable companion, I find it hard to imagine that you could possibly cause her so much grief in her absence. I asked her to do backup vocals in my band, and she lives...
Forum: Introductions 01-15-2008, 12:11 AM
Replies: 39
Views: 3,871
Salut Website!

My name’s Moe and I live in Cornfield, Iowa, or as my friends call it, Cornfiend, Iowa. Im twelve and I’m about 60% old school goth (like Cradle of Filth, Dimmu Borgir, and the Virgin Prunes) and 35%...
Forum: Whining 01-14-2008, 11:10 PM
Replies: 16
Views: 2,051
Fucking whiny bastards. Why don't you get out of...

Fucking whiny bastards. Why don't you get out of the deep muck of the modern whine and go talk about fashion or general or something?
Forum: Whining 01-14-2008, 11:04 PM
Replies: 89
Views: 8,081
Don't worry Signe, you're all right now. You're...

Don't worry Signe, you're all right now. You're all right. You guys better quit talking shit on my homegirl or else we'll step outside.
Forum: Music 01-14-2008, 10:55 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 1,127
Congraturation!

This is the one thousandth music thread! It must be the apocalypse. It looks pretty bleak, anyway.

Anyway, let's get relevant here:

I wrote a song for my band, red dread, and I think I might...
Forum: Whining 01-14-2008, 10:45 PM
Replies: 89
Views: 8,081
Hey mir, why don't you say that to my, or my best...

Hey mir, why don't you say that to my, or my best friend Signe's, face?
Forum: Literature 01-14-2008, 10:43 PM
Replies: 37
Views: 18,139
Q: Who's the gothest poet ever? A: Percy...

Q: Who's the gothest poet ever?

A: Percy Bysshe Helley.

A: Edgar Allan Woe
Forum: General 01-14-2008, 10:40 PM
Replies: 40
Views: 3,422
You'll all die in seven days and shit.

You'll all die in seven days and shit.
Forum: Whining 01-14-2008, 10:38 PM
Replies: 89
Views: 8,081
Hey badteccy, why don't you buzz off? This is...

Hey badteccy, why don't you buzz off? This is between me and mir
Forum: Shill 01-14-2008, 10:32 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,786
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Forum: TV, Movies, & Games 01-14-2008, 10:19 PM
Replies: 83
Views: 13,329
They stole that story from my great grandfather....

They stole that story from my great grandfather. He knew the guy what did it all. They never'd sing, though.
Forum: Whining 01-14-2008, 10:17 PM
Replies: 89
Views: 8,081
Signe was my best friend. Don't even talk about...

Signe was my best friend. Don't even talk about her like that or I'll get interpol on you like brick on a wall.
Forum: Spooky News 01-14-2008, 10:14 PM
Replies: 28
Views: 3,016
It's no tragedy. I went to see those assholes at...

It's no tragedy. I went to see those assholes at the zoo. The avian symbol of the United States was staring into space with its stupid mouth open.

Here's a ponderable: How come animals always...
Forum: Spooky News 01-14-2008, 10:10 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 3,203
I bet it's made up, that's what.

I bet it's made up, that's what.
Forum: Spooky News 01-14-2008, 09:57 PM
Replies: 31
Views: 3,203
What rag's that commie hogwash from?

What rag's that commie hogwash from?
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