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It's been a few days...and only just today have I been back to read what everyone has said. There has been a lot of thought about this whole business and a look back at the past 8 months of the relationship. I was very angry and very hurt at the time of both posts here. Getting angry and not seeing the whole situation becuase of lack of communication can happen to anyone, especially if both parties are a little insecure and a lot too young. I feel a little foolish now that I look back at it.
He and I love each other a lot, despite this recent trouble between us. My initial reaction was to be rid of him because I'm afraid of being what my mother was and afraid that I was putting myself into the kind of relationship I promised never to put myself in. I saw what it did to my mother and I know the scars it left on my siblings on myself. And, I think, anyone that comes from something unpleasant will get upset if they feel they are being put back into anything remotely like the unpleasant situation. These few events in my relationship pretty much sent off warning bells, yelling at me to do something about it right now. Get rid of it or make it better.
Right now, everything has calmed down and both sides are out in the open. We've come to a decision, but I'm not still not sure about the relationship. I'm going to see how it works for a little while, see if it fixes things, and if it still seems to me that it's something I can't handle, we're going to end it. I realize that most of the problem I have with it is that he's running about with another girl. We're trying to meet in the middle. He repeatively assures me that he loves me and wants to be with me and after looking at it from a different, calmer angle I think it's best that I just see how things go. If he doesn't stray, then I believe I can place trust in him. I have a lot of thinking to do. The warning bells are still going, but I've realized it may be my fears making them go off because, as I said, there is an age difference and a huge difference in background. What is okay to him, and normal to most, seems threatening and scary to me and I've never ever felt the need to do the things he does so it's hard for me to understand.
Learning is a big part of growing.
So, I'm sorry if I seemed rash to you guys. I was angry, hurt, scared, and confused, sorting out too many things at once. And thank you for all the advice, namely from those older and wiser than I (especially maimy).
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