Thread: Pendulum
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Old 01-06-2007, 02:22 PM   #7
DarkHeartedDemoness
 
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 1,688
Quote:
Whoever made this thing was mad;
whatever planned it was assured.
I know it wouldn’t make me glad
to hold and make my life secured.
I was saying that the first to lines are great, they really hook the reader, the words are well chosen and it's almost alluring. The two lines that follow feel forced, as though they were chosen merely to continue the rhyme scheme.

I'm sure you've read poems where the rhymes seem forced, haven't you? I hope you understand what I'm referring to.
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A SPIDER sewed at night
Without a light
Upon an arc of white.
If ruff it was of dame
Or shroud of gnome,
Himself, himself inform.
Of immortality
His strategy
Was physiognomy.

--Emily Dickinson
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