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What would be the difference between those ceremonies that are legally accepted and that those ceremonies wouldn't be legally recognized as the government will have nothing to do with marriage?
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The difference is that the former would not exist. All ceremonies would fall into the latter category. Government would not opine either that gay marriages were legit or not - it would simply have no opinions on or concept of marriage, the same way as right now it has no opinions on or concept of friendship.
Any rights traditionally associated with marriage could be provided for through other means. For example, the right to make decisions on behalf of your medically incapacitated spouse could be handled through a streamlined power of attorney system, which wouldn't involve anymore paperwork or formalities than marriage does anyway.
I'm surprised that this option would not occur to an avowed anarchist...
Drake