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First of all, cut the shit outta this poem. Take it apart, and take out everything that doesn't add something essential. Then, try to use more things to generate a feeling of hopelessness or anger, don't just say, "I was so mad I cut my wrists!" No. That type of thing is not even bad poetry, it's not poetry at all.
And as has been said, English being your second language has NOHTING to do with the things that are wrong with this poem.
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