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Saya · 09-23-2010, 10:59 AM

I agree with Ophie mostly, except here in Canada as far as I know if you're common law (live together for I think two years, I heard sometimes as little as three months...I'll look into it when I'm in that situation) you're as good as married, you can claim insurance and benefits and all that jazz. And thats the way it should be, no one should feel they need to spend thousands on a wedding and you do get judged if you have a small thing at city hall (a friend of mine did this and people are still giving her shit for NOT INVITING THEM or registering for gifts or any of the "fun" shit). And a lot of people do it for the attention whoring, and feeling like a princess for a day (or for the entire planning process and months and months later) I know people who did it because their religion told them to wait til marriage (is it just me, but with the exception of Tam, do most uber religious people like that marry really young?) and a lot of people do it because its just tradition. And really, its stupid that in the States you have to go through this antiquated ritual just to get those benefits. Its an expensive, pointless thing to me. Even if you're Christian, Jesus said its only for this life, which if you really have an immortal soul is only going to be a fraction of the time of your existence. Marriage seems to always have been about transferring the status property of women from her father's to her husband's, In Buddhism there's no "sacredness" about marriage because they knew it was strictly an economic exchange. And fuck I hate weddings, I'll only go if the person is really close, like immediate family or my very best friends.

And please, I know thats a lot of hate towards the whole idea of marriage but don't think I"m judging anyone here about it, I'm mostly thinking of people I know IRL, and while I'm against the idea I don't really care THAT much, if I were with someone I could see being with for the rest of my life and they really really wanted to get married, well we'd have a very nontraditional ceremony (my wedding fantasy: having a 200 dollar shindig here and then spending the rest of the money on going on a month long honeymoon, like China! Then our wedding album would be full of awesome. No, there wasn't a cake, but look, we were at the MOTHERFUCKING GREAT WALL, motherfucker.) I can't say I wouldn't compromise at all, although I'd demand we'd change most of the traditions.

09-23-2010, 10:59 AM	#4423
Saya Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 9,548	I agree with Ophie mostly, except here in Canada as far as I know if you're common law (live together for I think two years, I heard sometimes as little as three months...I'll look into it when I'm in that situation) you're as good as married, you can claim insurance and benefits and all that jazz. And thats the way it should be, no one should feel they need to spend thousands on a wedding and you do get judged if you have a small thing at city hall (a friend of mine did this and people are still giving her shit for NOT INVITING THEM or registering for gifts or any of the "fun" shit). And a lot of people do it for the attention whoring, and feeling like a princess for a day (or for the entire planning process and months and months later) I know people who did it because their religion told them to wait til marriage (is it just me, but with the exception of Tam, do most uber religious people like that marry really young?) and a lot of people do it because its just tradition. And really, its stupid that in the States you have to go through this antiquated ritual just to get those benefits. Its an expensive, pointless thing to me. Even if you're Christian, Jesus said its only for this life, which if you really have an immortal soul is only going to be a fraction of the time of your existence. Marriage seems to always have been about transferring the status property of women from her father's to her husband's, In Buddhism there's no "sacredness" about marriage because they knew it was strictly an economic exchange. And fuck I hate weddings, I'll only go if the person is really close, like immediate family or my very best friends. And please, I know thats a lot of hate towards the whole idea of marriage but don't think I"m judging anyone here about it, I'm mostly thinking of people I know IRL, and while I'm against the idea I don't really care THAT much, if I were with someone I could see being with for the rest of my life and they really really wanted to get married, well we'd have a very nontraditional ceremony (my wedding fantasy: having a 200 dollar shindig here and then spending the rest of the money on going on a month long honeymoon, like China! Then our wedding album would be full of awesome. No, there wasn't a cake, but look, we were at the MOTHERFUCKING GREAT WALL, motherfucker.) I can't say I wouldn't compromise at all, although I'd demand we'd change most of the traditions.