Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Doobie
Yeah, that's what people say. But it's incredibly illogical for it to affect me at all, much less at the time. I'm still alive, I'm not crippled for life, there are plenty of people who have things worse off than me, y'know? I just need to stop being such an emotional bitch and ignore it. God I wish I had been smarter.
And y'know? I can't help but feel guilty sometimes, that kid who did it was probably incredibly mentally unwell, because I knew he ***** a couple of the other kids (this was at an after-school program). One day I walked into a bathroom and saw him ****** some girl. If I would've come forward, he could've gotten help. Now my therapist tells me he's probably either dead or in jail, and I could've stopped his life from taking that course. I feel guilty, but I don't want to, because I hate him, and I really, really hope he died horribly, because I haven't seen him since I left the town of my birth. But I feel guilty for wanting him to die horribly.
I know people who were ***** repeatedly, and they have PTSD now. I really shouldn't have any problems.
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What sort of strange logic are you using? You feel the way you feel. Its ok to hate some one who hurt you. When we're children, fear and ignorance lead to us not knowing what to do, and doing the wrong thing, whatever that really is anyway.
Its really easy to berate yourself after the fact, and its even easier for people who've never dealt with this sort of thing to berate you and give you horrible advice.
You will heal when you heal, you'll feel better when you feel better. This is some fucked up shit that happened to you and it will take a long time to heal.
If you ever need to talk or vent about it or anything else, feel free to PM me.