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It does feel pretty shit, Sol.
What happened is i was unhappy with my ex but didn't have the balls to break up with him like a grown-up so i told him i didn't have any time for a relationship. The fact was that my ex came back into my life and i wanted to be with her instead. All of my friends are mutual friends with the guy i dumped and since i said i had no time, i figured i would give it time and make it look like we just came back together after a while. How shit would it be for me to break up with someone citing lack of time to be seen next week with a new SO?
And then it escalated and i put it off more and more and now it's been like 2 years and i'm still telling everyone i'm single. So thats why come the secret.
I dunno. Her father is her best friend forever, and she's totally devastated. Her family would loathe me if i said no. I feel like she'd never forgive me, and i don't want to give her the impression that i don't eventually want to marry her.
Bugh. My own family would think i was stupid as hell for rushing into a marriage, even if i did keep it secret from my friends until the time is right to have a proper ceremony.
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