I dress a very specific way.
First, I roll over, and grope around the drawer for some under wear. I don't even bother getting out of bed to put it on. I wait a few minutes, gathering energy after expending so much of it putting on my tighty whities, because they make my junk look smashing. Then, I sit up, and put my feet on the floor, but stay sitting. I put my pants on one leg at a time, all the while still remaining seated. I've found this reduces risk of pants Vs. gravity related injuries by at least 8%. Then, before I slide them on fully, I stick my hand down my under wear and scratch myself, because my balls sometimes get itchy, but I do this regardless of whether it itches or not, because you never know, you might get down there just as the itching starts, and we all know I like to be prepared. Then I rub my eyes, ponder ocular infection for a moment, decide it'll be alright and risk a stye once more. I find ball sweat ratio is pertinent to the amount of styes per annum, the rate and severity of infection. I have not yet found a way around this, but each day come closer. After another round of scratching, I look around for a shirt that might not smell so bad, and whose stains may be able to pass for a design. Once located, I roll it up in a tube like fashion, with the head exit facing away, which is key. Then I insert my left arm, then my right arm, and finally my head. I pull the shirt in a downward manner until it is comfortable, which can take some time. I usually abstain from shoes and socks unless leaving the house, and that's a whole different thread altogether.
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