Quote:
Originally Posted by KeineModalen
Im telling ya screw dating. I dont know what the culture/society is like where you folks are at, but I kinda tired dating a wee bit and ...I found all these people who had severe intimacy issues. I am not really interested in some kinda sorta intimacy nonsense of going out to dinner and having random activities every now and then. Granted I am a full fledged adult now. And maybe dating is great when you dont know what you want and you wanna get to know people. Hell anymore I dont even pretext like have to be friends. Unless its just sex but thats a whole different thing.
I need a full fledged dynamic that is active.
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I went through that myself for a couple years. Most semi-adults (I use the term semi-adult because many have never left the butt sniffing stage before humping) have zero clue what they want in a relationship, let alone why they feel the urge to suddenly get married. There's so many ins and outs regarding dating it's seriously not worth the stress as you're better off meeting someone through mutual friends. While I'm engaged now, I did follow some simple rules that saved a lot of stress for my mental health.
1. Only date someone who's employed in some fashion (let's be real, the economy is shit, but as long as they're employed they should be good. On a personal note, I dated someone who wasn't employed at the time we were together, wasn't long before they wanted me to help them pay bills. Not my problem.)
2. Always meet in a public space for a first date and don't do alcohol or drugs.(Anything can happen with that. Sure, you might be just as nervous as them, but is it worth a hangover, DWI or something worse?)
3. The second they try to bring up anything from a shitty past in the first couple of dates, drop them. (Chances are, it's something that you don't want to hear when you've just barely met the person.)
4. If they can't control their spending habits, alcohol intake, temper or manners, nix them immediately. (This shows a greedy and/or addictive personality. Chances are, you're not a qualified therapist and they will bring you down with them.)
5. If they try to change anything about you, don't just walk away, run! (This could mean someone who's controlling or worse.)
I followed those rules to a T for years after coming back to the states from overseas, and they never failed me.