[Sir Canvas Corpsey]

Feedback please.


The day he met Lily, Ryan’s dreams crumbled into nothingness; he was now face to face with an un-climbable obstacle that barred him from his truest desire. Worse still, was that if he distanced himself from Lily and the man she stole from him; Jowan, it would mean leaving the man to a fate he did not wish upon anyone. So he helped them as they tried to escape, hoping he could too, make a life away from the tower, perhaps with them, or at least, close to Jowan. The day he met Lily, Salem’s re-envisioned dreams crumbled too, caught by Irving and Greagoir so close to achieving escape, Jowan resorted to blood magic he so defiantly proclaimed he did not know of or use and escaped, Lily was sent away, and all Salem could do was follow the Grey Warden Duncan from the tower as the man he loved and his home were stripped away from him in moments.

Strange then, that a long time after his passions would be miraculously re-ignited by one fateful encounter with that lying, whiney, blood mage that he loved. The dungeons of Arl Eamon’s castle in Redcliffe, that was where he saw Jowan again and while the man’s apologizing did nothing for Ryan’s pain, his pining re-opening the wounds of that day of desperation he found himself free the man, so that he might do some good amidst all his mistakes. In the end, Connor, Isolde and Teagan were all spared from death’s looming dominion, though Eamon still rife with sickness; Jowan was sent back to the dungeons, until Eamon could be revived and decide upon the Blood Mage’s fate.



Footsteps of someone in armor echoed off the stony walls of the dank dungeon of Redcliffe Castle, as Ryan clad in heavy silverite chainmail, proceeded towards Jowan’s cell, a small metal tray in hand, resting on it, a piece of stale bread, some bits of cheese and a wooden mug of water. Rounding the corner, he caught the look of surprise on Jowan’s face when he saw that it was his old friend bringing him his meal instead of the guard.

“Ryan? But how did you-?” he blurted out as the metal tray was slipped through one of the larger holes in the grating of his cell’s door.

“I simply spoke to Bann Teagan and persuaded him to allow me to bring your meal, assuring him that I would set out to find the Urn of Sacred Ashes tomorrow” responded Ryan, smiling ruefully at the state of his weathered friend; his complexion pale and frame thin from the lack of food. Jowan had wasted no time in devouring the bread and cheese, guzzling down most of the water before catching the expression on Ryan’s face. Ryan turned his back to Jowan the moment he did, not wanting to trouble the blood mage with his woes too; even after all this time he still cared for the man, in fact, it might be better to say that even after all this time his love hadn’t waned.

“You were always very persuasive” whispered Jowan, his voice weary, his mind elsewhere; remembering their time together in the tower.

“I was also a thief, taking from others to fill, what felt like empty days and a bleak future. Unfortunately it took everything that happened when we tried to escape the tower-“ he began, pausing when he was about to utter the name of that woman who did to him what he had done to so many others in the tower.

“-with Lily, to realize just how much it hurts to have something stolen from you” he finished, his voice wistful and filled less with regret, and more unquenched longing.

“I was an idiot, and you lost so much because of my stupidity, I’m sorry for what I took from you, Ryan, I am”

Ryan let Jowan’s apology, another in a long list he had received since reuniting with his friend, hang in the air, the cold space of the dungeons silent, save for the breathing of the two mages. Finally, Salem looked over his should, finding Jowan at his cell door, hands grasping the bars, eyes pleading for forgiveness from his friend.

“You know, Jowan, you could escape, you could make me break you out” spoke Ryan softly, keeping his eyes locked with the blood mage.

“What? No! I could never, would never, use blood magic to control you Ryan! Do you really not trust me-“ replied Jowan in exasperation, appalled by the thought,, however Ryan turned to face his friend fully, raising his hand to silence the man. A wry smile twisted Ryan’s face between cheekiness and lament, he stepped forward, closing the distance between himself and the cell door, so close he could reach in and touch Jowan if he wished.

“You wouldn’t have to, despite all that’s happened, Jowan, you still mean the world to me, and I would do anything for you”

“Y-you would?” exclaimed Jowan incredulously, he thought the world would have completely given up on him at this point, but it seemed Ryan had not, and yet, the more he thought about it, the more he found it to be believable. Ryan had been there for him from the beginning, Ryan had told him about the Harrowing when he had asked, despite the fact no apprentice should ever be told about it until they attempted it. It had been Ryan who stood by him when he sought to escape the tower and tranquility with Lily, and Ryan who defended him from Isolde’s ranting.

“…You would…” Jowan now affirmed, quietly, lowering his eyes from Ryan’s; the harsh grey that scolded most he met, softened and went murky in his presence. He felt he had no right to meet that man on an equal level, not after what he’d done, and not after learning the friendship he had thought abandoned because of his crimes still burned strong in his dearest friend.

As Ryan watched Jowan’s head dip down and his gaze break from his own, he was reminded how pitiful Jowan could be when he felt guilty or hurt, and it frustrated Ryan, that although he came down here to try and absolve Jowan of some of his worry, that instead he was causing the man more pain. Intending no more than explaining his motivations, he found that he had lifted one hand and slid it between the openings of the grated door, tucked his fingers lightly under Jowan’s chin and lifted the man’s head so he would once again look him in the eye.

“I would,” he whispered, barely, not having given the full confession he had always imagined would come bursting out in this moment; the meaning caught in his throat like a bubble that refused to move or pop. Jowan seemed perplexed by the sudden difficulty with which Ryan was speaking, the touching, and Ryan could not voice an answer to the silent question.

Ryan’s hand guided Jowan’s face a little closer to the door and as the blood mage tried to speak he found himself silenced by Ryan’s lips against his; a kiss between the grating. Ryan had risked himself in a moment of desperate confession, the metal of the cell door pressing against his forehead as Jowan froze in shock.

As Ryan pulled his lips back from those of the unresponsive and startled Jowan, he could see confusion dancing around inside his eyes, and perhaps even a glimmer of revelation. The kiss hadn’t been passionate at all, it hadn’t even been returned; he might as well have been kissing a pillow, and yet, Ryan found his heart racing, pounding in his ears, as he waited for Jowan to say or do something, anything!

Jowan’s eyes slid from side to side as he tried to process what had just happened, one of his hands quickly coming up to his face so he could pinch the bridge of his nose in pensive thought. A typical reaction from jowan when he was trying to decide what to do in a situation where he really did not know what he was doing or what he was supposed to do.

“W-why did you-,” began Jowan before finding sudden resolve in his confusion, ”Why would you do that?” he pushed out, already knowing the answer but needing to hear it come from Ryan’s lips first; those lips that had only moments ago been pressed to his.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time“ answered Ryan, a statement that was in and of itself a relevant sufficient, but left so much unaddressed. The warden mage’s usual cool exterior and silver tongue dissolved into the awkward mess that anyone would know as a case of strange love in a strange place. That witty, silver tongue that Ryan had hoped, not moments ago, would find its way into the kiss and past Jowan’s lips tied by a hex of the heart not even the First Enchanter could hope to dispel.

Jowan’s eyes opened, his fingers still pressing either side of his nose, a stern expression displayed, so alien to any notion of Jowan’s personality or attitude. Ryan retracted his hand through the grating and pulled away from the cell door and left his back to the blood mage, trying to find the words to explain what was going through his mind, thinking that if he did not have to bare that look from Jowan that they might come out easier. They did not.

“Ryan…” probed Jowan tentatively, hoping to elicit a reaction from his friend to see if the man was still listening, when the other mage still paralyzed in thought and speech did not, he was unsure if he should speak, but he did so anyway.

“…I love Lily” said the blood mage solemnly, the words causing Ryan to wheel on his heels, his tight black ponytail flicking around with his body as a face twisted in a mix of anger and sadness met Jowan’s.

“Forget Lily! She is gone now!” barked the warden mage, his lips twisted into a snarl as he spoke, his cold gray eyes, normally murky with emotions around Jowan were devoid of kindness and aflame with a searing scorn. Jowan surprised himself when he shouted back at Ryan, his voice far less intimidating and still managing to sound pathetically whiney.