Oh my god! I am going to die from laughing so hard and not being able to catch my breath!
The Onion's Fake Morning News/Talk Show 'Today Now!' - The Interview with the screenwriter of the fourth "The Fast and the Furious" sequel:
'Today Now!' Interviews The 5-Year-Old Screenwriter Of "Fast Five".
"The car goes out of the train and then there's a hole in the train!"
"She see'd a bullet, and the bullet went POOFT around her face, but she didn't duck, only had to take a bath."
Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!
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Lead me not into temptation ... follow me, I know a shortcut!
As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.
Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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