I remember a radio jockey in Texas who had a little routine that he went through daily. It was always something along the lines of:
"I scraped my gums with sandpaper until they bled and then ate a whole lemon... I hate it when that happens."
That is, he'd talk about doing something horrible completely intentionally and then, jokingly, add "I hate it when that *happens*."
That inspired me:
"I told my mom that I wanted to be a goth and she yelled at me and I had to cut myself and she found the knife.... I hate it when that happens."
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It is time, it is high time... Yes, but to do what?
--Friedrich Nietzsche
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