Hey Languor, welcome to the site - we disagree on a lot of points, but that said, it's always good to have another feminist on board. Discussions on this site have a tendency to get interesting. (That sounds super-patronising, sorry - it's genuinely meant!)
I've been struggling recently too with "I act/look girly because I like it". I have to admit, part of me wants to start bawling "IDEOLOGICAL STATE APPARATUS SOCIAL CONDITIONING YOU DID NOT COME OUT OF THE WOMB WANTING MASCARA OMG BRAAGGGGHHHH". Yet, how to reconcile that with the fact that the alternative is, once more, effectively telling women what to do, that there's a particular way they 'should' be looking/acting, and that they're failing in their womanly duty by not doing so? 'Cause... that shit sounds kind of familiar.
I read this just yesterday, and it actually helped to take care of a lot of the stuff I've been thinking about. Maybe you guys will find it interesting, too:
http://bitchmagazine.org/post/ms-opi...me-you-didnt-9