SIlence
Well, he's dead, has been since last year and will stay forever like that: Dead.
I can't get over it. I don't know where to put those seven years, or how to push them away. He passed away suddenly, at 41.
No, I'm not thinking about killing myself... I wish I had the energy to really wish something, to feel passionate about something, except the urge to run away from this place as fast as I can... But what good does running away (again)?
Just when I have this tiny hope and I tell myself "I'm doing it, I'm making progress", then I realize I'm not... The sadness gets back, exactly same flavour as usual: There is no damm changes on it...
I need to fight against this or I'll bury myself with him... But I have no idea how to do it, everything I try seems just another mistake...
This feels sometimes like my own death in slow motion... I hate it.
I've asked a lot of people how long will it take, but the answers they gave me were so vague, they soundded almost lyrical...
So, I'm asking YOU now.
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Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.
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