04-22-2004, 08:26 PM
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#22
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: eh...
Posts: 495
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Originally Posted by Gypsy2222
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Originally Posted by comatoast
LOL..scathing rebuttal..from me? LOL I am so even tempered and laid back that they want to draw my boold and sell it as a natural alternative to prozac , zanax and the like :wink:
A lot of people are not strong enough to go against society, even if they are drawn one direction or another. They lack the will and ,therefore , do deny themselves. I'm sure you've met people who've said something akin to:"Yeah, man, I've been into that since I was a kid but...*insert reasons here*." They have the yearning but not the will power.
Same thing for those who try to be dark for whatever reason(love. or what have you). I'm not saying that it isn't self denial. It is. But people can(and do) do it often.
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Hence the term "closet goth"... I look at it this way, just because a gay woman is "in the closet", she is not any less gay... the same could be said for "closet goths"... or closet anything else for that matter...
Now onto.....
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Originally Posted by comatoast
You make very valid points but I've looked back in my life many times and wondered why I was the way I was. Why I could see beauty in a corpse. Why everything I wrote had dark undertones. Why I enjoyed biting the heads off doves...wait..that was Ozzy..never mind.
I did think I was born that way..but I started looking at my earliest memories and how they might have effected me. My father beating because I didn't tie a perfect knot in my shoe lace. Him throwing tables out the windows and threatening to throw us out of tthem as well. Beating my mother. My mother verbally and physically abusing me. Being...well..abused...ridiculed from Kindergarten on. Those early memories are what molded me.
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None the less, you still reacted as was your nature to... Some people would have gone with this and been thankful or gone to a convent or any number of things... you paid heed to your darker nature hence you are here rather than seminary school trying to find God.....
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Originally Posted by comatoast
I've never considered myself "goth" just a dark soul. Freethinking, introspective, stoic,poetic(riiiiight),artistic, sullen, outcast...and I look damn good in black and chains :wink: It was a title that I came across fairly recently(about 3 years ago) to try to explain myself and my beliefs to others.
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So a classic old school goth with some fetish goth mixed in... ok, I follow... but why do you still not consider yourself a goth? I admit, as I have before, the label does feel a little strange yet if the shoe fits....
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Originally Posted by comatoast
What drives me is me. My need to understand myself and my soul..to delve into the dark miasmal abyss of my soul..and in turn..learn something about the human animal. My need to learn why. What makes me tick..what makes us all tick...looking at the monsters inside and trying to see the beauty in it all.
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Which, I would venture a guess, is why I associate with you so well and would name you friend..... What I've found is only slightly different.....
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Originally Posted by comatoast
I'm medicated right now(legally,blew my knee out) so I don't even know if any of this made sense...if it doesn't just slap me.
I do see your point of view and I used to subscribe to it myself but I've ,since, changed sides. Nurute is my story and I'm sticking to it...
Now..where's my oxycontin? :oops:
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LoL... Go take your meds.... but realize that you still haven't explained your reasoning well enough to me... it seems to me you followed your nature under pressure... you went dark instead of light and here you are.......
Ever over analyzing,
~The Gypsy~[/color][/i]
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Food for thought? No. More like a buffet, here. Going to have to ponder..spend the night in my dungeonous soul
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