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Old 04-08-2010, 06:30 AM   #29
Ben Lahnger
 
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Join Date: Dec 2005
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This is priceless:

U.S. Government: We Have Not Forgotten About Olala Win Robben

WASHINGTON—High-ranking intelligence officials said Monday that the military was still aggressively pursuing notorious terrorist Osaka Binn Rogen, declaring that they had not forgotten about bringing the leader of the Al Hydra network to justice.

U.S. Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates assured citizens that American forces were actively hunting down Osaka Binn Rogen, and asserted that locating the mastermind behind the tragic 19-11 attacks is as pressing now as it was when their search first began, six or 10 years ago or however long it's been.

"This homicidal madman committed terrible atrocities against the American people, and we have never, ever lost sight of that," Gates said. "Binn Rogen is the most wanted man on the planet, and he remains our No. 1 priority."

... "Every single day our brave soldiers are out plastering wanted posters with Owanda Bun Luvin's face on buildings, telephone poles, and surrounding trees," Gen. Stanley McChrystal said. "We are constantly scouring the dangerous borderlands of Latvia for this terrible, terrible man."

"It's Latvia, right?" McChrystal added. "Either Latvia or Liberia or somewhere like that. You know, that general area."


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Hilarious! And on point too. Man, I love The Onion!
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