Or: An American Carol Part 2: Electric Boogaloo
So, G.netters, let me ask you a question.
How do you make a horror movie convincing people that pro-lifers are right?
The answer is obviously "make a horror movie with a pro-lifer as the villain".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sn_Iq...layer_embedded
Yes. There is going to be a pro-life horror movie where three women are kidnapped and forced to carry their pregnancies to term.
And in the end this is presented as a
GOOD thing.
But wait! There's more!
http://www.nj.com/hobokennow/index.s..._the_life.html
Quote:
The Life Zone went viral across the internet Friday after blogs The Frisky and Talking Points Memo picked up on the film's trailer which focuses on three pregnant women who appear to have been kidnapped from abortion clinics and forced to see their pregnancies to term by their doctor and jailor. But despite garnering more than 20,000 hits on YouTube in the last four days, only fifty people - including the film's cast and producers - attended this weekend's screening, and even those who starred in the movie didn't know how to interpret its twist ending.
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This speaks volumes.
An American Carol should've taught everybody that making a ham-fisted movie espousing ridiculous right-wing clap-trap is about as profitable as throwing bags of money into a wood chipper.
Quote:
"The two people who end up facing the consequences are on either side of the fence and they're unbending. That's how I felt when I first read the script and how I still feel about it," Lindsey Haun, best known for her work on HBO's True Blood, offered as explanation of the ending twist of her latest feature, the pro-life horror film 'The Life one' which premiered Saturday night at the Hoboken International Film Festival.
"The woman who is completely pro-life and who never changes her opinion, and the woman who is pro-choice and never considers the other side, they're so pig-headed in their own views and not willing to debate, so they face the consequences," Haun, who plays pro-choice victim Staci Horowitz, concluded.
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Hmmm. So the movie presents a fair and balanced look at the abortion debate, where you never know which side is right or what side the creator of the movie is on?
Somehow I don't quite believe that...
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The pregnant women are often tortured by dreams of death and despair - montages of swarming bees, swirling tornadoes and speeches by Hitler one night, African-Americans and foreigners shouting "abort me" in foreign tongues the next
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Quote:
Finally two of the three women come to accept human life exists inside them and less anxiously anticipate giving birth. But Staci still refuses to accept that the life inside her is anything more than a fetus. In her third trimester she attempts to injure herself and miscarry. It has unintended consequences.
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HMMMMMMM! I WONDER WHICH SIDE OF THE DEBATE THIS MOVIE SITS ON! I REALLY CAN'T TELL!
But wait! There's more!
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while Dr. Wise experiences flashbacks to the dissolution of her marriage which fell apart when she learned she couldn't bear children. Her parents cursed her for not taking better care of her body, a poor diet, too much work, while her husband - The Karate Kid's bad sensei Martin Kove - divorces her, leaving her for a woman capable of having his children, a moment that pushes Dr. Wise to desperate measures.
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Cool! Shaming women that end up being anything less than a perfect little meat sock for carrying her husbands spawn!
But wait! There's more!
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All three women deliver and finally the first of the plot's twists are revealed. Staci, most opposed to pregnancy, is blessed with two children - twins - while her fellow captives only give birth to one baby each.
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The key to fixing someone who's pro-choice, is to give them babies. If they're SUPER-DUPER PRO CHOICE the answer is obviously to give them TWO babies. Keep giving them babies as needed for pro-choiceness.
BUT WAIT!
...
THERE'S MORE!!!!
Quote:
Later, Staci wakes up. The two new mothers are no longer captives, they've presumably ascended to heaven with their babies. It's revealed all along the women had been in Purgatory, after having died on the operating table of abortion clinics. But because Staci attempted to miscarry even after a second chance at motherhood, and because she never accepted the error of her ways until she experienced the physical joy of giving birth, of seeing her children for the first time, she will be doomed to eternity in Hell.
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This movie is so ham-fisted it had to be approved by the FDA.
Also:
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the physical joy of giving birth
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Loggia is Satan and he informs Staci she will spend all eternity in a cycle of pregnancy and childbirth and Dr. Wise will forever be her doctor, as the movie's final twist plays out
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Pregnancy and the physical joy of giving birth are such wonderful things they're used as torture in hell.
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Wise too will spend eternity in Hell. She was so weak she committed suicide when her marriage collapsed and must suffer the fate of forever bringing life into the world, endlessly having to appreciate what she did not value on Earth.
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Wow. Literal demonization of suicides. You're cool movie. You're reeeeeeeal cool.
And on that, let's end our time here with one of the creator's thoughts on the films stupid title...
Quote:
"It's like the Twilight Zone. Life, like pro-life; zone, like the Twilight Zone. And if you've seen Twilight Zone episodes, it punches you in the face in the end,"
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As someone I know said, this movie doesn't seem to punch you in the face in the end, as much as it just tries to punch you in the face repeatedly throughout, laughing maniacally about the joys of life and babies and the evils of liberals and witches while accidentally punching itself in the face repeatedly, drooling all over itself while it does so.