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Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books.

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Old 08-07-2010, 05:18 PM   #1
Darkemostar
 
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The Fire Within Me

There is fire and there is me together as one the cold never hurts but people they put me down they make me cry.
They also make me mad one day I will learn how to control the fire within.
I will use it on them... ahhh! The fire is out of control I need help! Some one help me! I call upon the the fire within me to save me I will control you as I call upon you. FIRE!
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Old 08-07-2010, 05:52 PM   #2
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You should really consider publication.
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Old 08-08-2010, 12:19 PM   #3
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not your best, and it's really pretty juvenile, you started out ok, but then the screaming kills it, it becomes a joke after that point and unless that's what you want it really brings down the rest of the piece.
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Old 08-08-2010, 12:26 PM   #4
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this is not literature so please stop posting in the literature section....you should work on them for months, then and only then, after brooding over them and abstracting your mind a bit you could perhaps post them
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Old 08-08-2010, 02:30 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by allyssa View Post
this is not literature so please stop posting in the literature section....you should work on them for months, then and only then, after brooding over them and abstracting your mind a bit you could perhaps post them
Do you have to work on something for months for it to be considered literature? I don't think that's fair to the people out there that have a natural talent and can write something from the heart and have it be awesome.
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Old 08-08-2010, 02:32 PM   #6
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While I understand you trying to give DARKEMOSTAR some constructive feedback she'll (with a limb) attempt to work on, you're going to ultimately lose in a battle to defend her as an author.

Crap poetry is just crap poetry.
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Old 08-08-2010, 02:47 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by Sinjob View Post
While I understand you trying to give DARKEMOSTAR some constructive feedback she'll (with a limb) attempt to work on, you're going to ultimately lose in a battle to defend her as an author.

Crap poetry is just crap poetry.
I'm not trying to defend her as an author, my response to allyssa's statement was more from the fact that I don't spend months working on some pieces. It's very likely that I misunderstood and that allyssa meant that Darkemostar should sit on her work and brood over it, not all authors and poets.
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