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Politics "Under democracy, one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule -and both commonly succeed, and are right." -H.L. Menken

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Old 02-08-2006, 03:15 PM   #1
ExistentialDisorder
 
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Robin Williams' World Peace Plan

Got this in my e-mail. Was funny. Thought I'd share.
(uploaded the image to my site, so as not to steal anyone's bandwidth)


[Robin Williams wearing a T-shirt that says "I Love New York" in Arabic]

You gotta love Robin Williams...... Even if he's nuts!
Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan.
What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up
and repeat this message.

Robin Williams' plan... (Hard to argue with this logic!)

"I see a lot of people yelling for peace
but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan."

1) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present.
You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those "good ole boys", we will never "interfere" again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world! , starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines.
They don't want us there.
We would station troops at our borders.
No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave.
We'll give them a free trip home.
After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are.
They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in.
If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here.
Asylum would never be available to anyone.
We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 ! cashiers .

5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort
to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil.
If they don't like it, we'll go someplace else.
They can go somewhere else to sell their production.
(About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of us know that what we give them is stolen or given to the army.
The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer.

11) The Language we speak is ENGLISH...learn it...or LEAVE...

Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?

The Statue of Liberty is no longer
sa ying "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.
She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'you want a piece of me?' "
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Old 02-08-2006, 04:00 PM   #2
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Is it serious? It sounds almost xenophobic
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Old 02-08-2006, 07:32 PM   #3
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Ugh, republicans.
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Old 02-09-2006, 12:00 AM   #4
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dunno if its a hoax or not. but if you're familiar with robin williams comedy, it sounds like something he'd say. its sarcasm with a valid point.
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Would you find yourself [or]
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Old 02-09-2006, 01:20 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by ExistentialDisorder
4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in.
If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here.
Asylum would never be available to anyone.
We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 ! cashiers
Yeah man...I am not sure if a statement like this should even have been posted. This whole thing looks a lot like thinly veiled rascism.
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Old 02-09-2006, 05:36 AM   #6
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am i the only one who would appreciate our government actually enacting something along this line? how beautiful it would be if america existed for america and the rest of the world took care of its own without our men, women and money.

the only one that bothers me is # 10.
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Old 02-09-2006, 05:45 AM   #7
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I'm not arguing with the validity of some of the ideas. I'm saying that comments about not needing taxi drivers and 711 clerks is a bit on the racial stereotype side.

For instance - I had a friend named Omar here on a student VISA from Jordan. He was going to college but after 911 hit, it was difficult for him because they were re-evaluating who to keep and who to send, even though he was taking full time courses and doing well. The problem with going back to Jordan was that he had denounced Islam and would be in real physical danger if he returned, especially because of the American flag tattoo he proudly displayed. He eventually married an American girl, and even though I am not sure if it was a marriage of convenience or not, he is now a citizen.

He didn't look Arabic - so in his classes, he would hear people talk about wanting to send all the 'towel-heads' home, and that if they had an Arab they would kick his ass. This, about a kid who had tried so hard to join the Army, Navy, Marines, or Air Force so that he could offers his translation skills to this country.

I am angry about our situation in the Middle East. Trust me, they are trying to send my husband as we speak to drive a convoy in Iraq. I damn well understand Americans wanting a better solution than the one we have right now.

But, racial epithets only heighten the problem and I personally don't care for them.
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Old 02-09-2006, 07:26 AM   #8
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you saw it as a racial epithet, i saw it as a joke - a tongue-in-cheek evaluation of society in general if you will, much like one any comedian on stage would spit out. that line exists on the lips of anyone who talks smack about middle easterners in front of an audience.

i come from jersey and work in the city of boston - a place where diversity is crammed down your throat. most people have been exposed to those of middle eastern descent in some capacity and most of us know someone from that region whom we can call "friend".

anyway, taking that outside the realm of focussed individual examples - depending upon where you live, there absolutely are a plethora of middle eastern males driving taxi's and working in or owning 7-11 businesses, not to mention gas stations. that's not racist. that's just life.

the bottom line, in my eyes - america is hated the world over. removing our men and women from all points outside our borders and fortifying the country from within would do wonders for those who live, work and pay taxes here. the politicians at the healm are ineffective. their focus is skewed, concentrating heavily on what's going on outside the country rather than inside. i, for one, am tired of working 50 - 60 hours a week and seeing the amount of tax dollars removed from my check, knowing full well a portion of that money is going to support shitbag illegal aliens and those in prison, not to mention the astronomical amount funnelled overseas. when the fuck did i sign up for that?

when "help" to others becomes mandatory hand-outs from the working class here, it's only a matter of time before people here get frustrated and want it stopped. i want it stopped. when i have no worries about money in my life, then i won't care what's being done with money i pay in taxes. until then, there's no reason someone should be getting a free ride on my back.
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Last edited by edible_eye; 02-09-2006 at 07:36 AM.
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Old 02-09-2006, 07:47 AM   #9
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I agree with what you're saying, Edible...I just see way too much honest frustration with the way our country deals with foreign policy and immigration potentially funneling its way into racial prejudice.

I guess we'll agree to disagree...
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Old 02-09-2006, 08:04 AM   #10
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You lads must have missed his last live in New York stand up routine, in which for the first time he actually took on politics. And, he spent 2 hours blasting bush, the war, and everything about the current bush regime (his words).

He is the most liberal person who does comedy today, and yes, that photo is real, but the jokes are all changed to support the right wing.

To fix ye lads up:

The transcript for his last live stand up on Broadway.

http://www.script-o-rama.com/movie_s...ay-script.html

Read the bush bashing fun.

And he also recently gave an interview in San Fran to the Chron, and put a bunch of his REAL jokes in there, also bashing bush and the war, ones he did in front of the troops, much like the same way as Good Morning Vietnam.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cg...DG29B7RIH1.DTL

And they are waaaay different than the drool right wing humour someone tried to put in his mouth with those mass emails bouncing around the web.

My fav bit from his act...

Tony said: "This heinous incident has brought us
to the edge of oblivion..."
"But our civilization shall endure!"
And there's poor W going: "Shit, I can't even spell that."
'Cause you look at Bush and you realize it's Bush . .
It's a pioneer release. It came with certain bugs in the software.
"This country will not be taken hostile,
oops, delete, delete, hostage."
And you look at him and realize he has a short attention span.
"Our economy is going... oh, look at the kitty".
He kinda reminds me of a guy in college with a towel going... gotcha!
You just don't want him to drive.
Some men are born great, some achieve greatness,
some get it as a graduation gift. It's OK!
Historically...
You must look at it from a historical perspective.
He's George the second. The boy-king.
A man we thought could only loose, but somehow won,
because of confused Hebrews. Yes!
W doesn't speak while Channey's drinking water. Check it out!
When everything went down,
they put W out there, but they protected Channey.
Channey had an angioplasty. Most people wait till it heals.
He was like: "I'm perfectly fine!"
"I'm OK!"
And there's Ashcroft in the back: "Work your arms, you asshole!"
You have to remember, John Ashcroft is a man
who lost to a dead man in Missouri.
Choices in Missouri were: John Ashcroft - Dead Man.
And people in Missouri went:
"I'm sorry, John, but the dead man scares me less than you do."
Here's the drill for me. You know what's strange?
It doesn't scare me that W. waved at Stevie Wonder.
That's OK.
Stevie's only been blind since birth!
And there's W. going: "Stevie !"
Even Stevie Wonder's going, "Is that mother fucker waving at me?
Does he think I'm looking for him? Goddamn!"
No! What scares me
is that W almost died from a fucking pretzel.
We have billions of dollars in national defense.
They want billions more for national security.
And he almost fucking goes down from snack food!
Secret Service is going: "Games over, man!"
"Gilligan's down. Gilligan's down."
"Step away from the chip, sir!"
We have to have people go: "Hydrate, you bastard!"
His own dogs didn't give a shit. They were licking him for the salt.
You need a dog that cares. A dog like Lassie.
"What's wrong, Lassie? The President swallowed something
and you did the Heimlich?"
"What else, girl?"
"Mr Channey is meeting with the Enron people?"
"An Enron employee is secretary of the Navy?"
"What about the Harken loan?"
"Sorry, girl, we gonna have to put you down."
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Old 02-09-2006, 09:53 AM   #11
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hey, sternn - good to see you back again, if for no other reason than to spice up the politics section.
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Old 02-09-2006, 12:13 PM   #12
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Santarea was right. I looked it up on the net and it is a hoax. Originally circulated in 2003, Williams' name didn't get attached to it until a few weeks later. Dang. That takes the fun out of it. But sternn's post is just as funny. And since it was my redneck bush-supporting brother that sent me the forwarded e-mail, i can still have some fun. heh. especially since he's a fan of williams' too. (or was until i forward him that link of sternn's). but i'm with edible eye. I agree with most all the steps. that doesn't make me a republican or a right winger.
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Old 02-09-2006, 12:21 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ExistentialDisorder
I agree with most all the steps. that doesn't make me a republican or a right winger.
you're right. that makes you an american.
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Old 02-09-2006, 12:23 PM   #14
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I do tend to agree with the general point, which I took to be that we need to concentrate more on our home front before we try to fix other countries. I'm all for helping but you have to take care of yourself first before you can go and help others.

I don't agree with all the points on how to go about this, but I don't think it's a bad idea all together.
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Old 02-09-2006, 01:11 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by edible_eye
am i the only one who would appreciate our government actually enacting something along this line? how beautiful it would be if america existed for america and the rest of the world took care of its own without our men, women and money.

the only one that bothers me is # 10.
I found #11 quite humourous, since most native speakers I know STILL don't know how to speak it well. That's the English major in me, though.

The United States has never acted purely in the interest of any other nation. I'm just going to put that out there as undeniable. I'm not going to say that's a bad thing so much as just a thing, but I'll follow up on that later. Maybe.

Okay, so if the rest of the world were to take care of its own, without American men, women and money, would you be suggesting a politically isolationist United States? No imports and exports, etc? Or are you speaking more in the sense of the United States doing everything in its own interest and ONLY in its own interest. So, for instance, invading Canada because Canada is resource rich, and it would benefit them to do so... or... what?

I'd like to see some elaboration on this.
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Old 02-09-2006, 01:21 PM   #16
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Each country for itself and its 'own' = National Socialism.

Not calling anyone a nazi here, I'm just saying - that's what it essentially is. An unfeasible option in the globalized world we live in today.


Oh, and helloooo Disfunction! Nice to see you are still breathing. If it's a dewey-fresh and kissable exhalation or a rotten hangover-breath I cannot tell, but as long as you're able to type it's all good, baby!
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Old 02-09-2006, 01:25 PM   #17
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Oh, and helloooo Disfunction! Nice to see you are still breathing. If it's a dewey-fresh and kissable exhalation or a rotten hangover-breath I cannot tell, but as long as you're able to type it's all good, baby!
Hello, hello; dewey-fresh and kissable one moment, rotten hangover-breath in the morn. Tonight shall be blissfully indulgent. Thanks for the kind words.
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Old 02-09-2006, 02:04 PM   #18
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i looo-ooooove the fact that disfunction comes back, if only to call me out on the table. beautiful, my beautiful canadian friend. always good to see you again.

and not for nothing, but if we invaded canada, it'd be to claim ownership of all those hot fuckin' strippers in montreal, not for any other natural resource.

and to answer your questions - the united states should not, under any circumstances, act in the interest of any other nations. the fact that such a discussion can even find an audience shows just how far our national policy has gone astray. we're not the united nations - that's just an ineffective body that meets periodically in new york city.

the united states is named as such because we should, under all circumstances, act purely in the interest of our own nation first and foremost, as should canada as well as norway. if your own governments were pissing away billions in taxpayer dollars that could have been spent to improve conditions within your own nation - would that be ok with either of you? how about taxpayer dollars going into the pockets of illegal aliens when you're working and still having problems paying the bills? nations should take care of their own first. that's the point of separate nations, separate borders, etc.

and pitseleh, national socialism is not the same thing. and nazi-ism? c'mon, man. there's nothing hinting at nazi-ism in what i said. break it down.
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Old 02-09-2006, 02:32 PM   #19
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Well, edible, that's where our views diverge. I'll respect your view as yours, though, as I'm sure you have your reasons for entertaining such. For sake of discussion, here are mine:

I don't like nationalism because of the artificial divisions it creates between people. I'm entirely supportive of sustaining cultures, but I feel just as much kinship with an 8 year old in Thailand as I do a 19 year old English major not only going to my same university, but living on the same floor as I do in residence. I want just as much to help them as I do anyone on my own soil, because I hold some form of appreciation of the human species rather than the social divisions we have instituted upon ourselves. I am by no means supportive of egalitarian principles that might lead us towards a communist system of equal rights to equal property and equal this and equal that, but I do believe in a world that would dictate equal opportunity for all to attain success.

In all fairness, someone like me has absolutely no right to be where he is right now. I've done nothing but slack off in school, neglect my studies, drink, smoke, skip classes when I know I should be going, etc. and yet here I am. I don't believe that someone like me who has almost no sense of work ethic should have more of a right to higher education than an individual who would work his ass off to get exactly where I am, only he is unable to afford the costs of higher learning.

There is so much more potential available to us as a species if we were to alienate our own self-imposed methods of isolationism. We could address problems as a whole that imapct us as a whole, rather than trying to enforce our own ideologies among people who don't quite share them.

I realize that this is a very flawed way to view the world as there are so many short-comings that would inevitably arise, but I would, as a human being, prefer that we could disgard such concepts... or at the very least do away with extremism. I mean, a truly superior nation's superiority should be self-evident, without need of proclamation.

(Not suggesting that's what you're getting at; it just really peeves me.)
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Old 02-09-2006, 03:33 PM   #20
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Edible, to clarify once again: I was absolutely not calling you a nazi, with all the ugly racial implications that carries. I know you're not that kind of guy. Thing is, though, the word 'nazi' is really just a contracted form of 'national socialist'. And national socialism is precisely what you describe when you say each nation should "act purely in the interest of our own nation first and foremost". The whole question of race and 'us vs. them'-mentality is just the incentive Hitler used to fuel the fire in a Germany that was down on its knees and was desperately looking for someone to blame for their humiliation and misfortune.

But that's not what we're discussing here. My view is just that, in the present day and age it would be impossible to sever the economic ties between the US and the rest of the world, not to mention all the other ways in which the world is linked. The most important being that we're all humans. And I completely agreee with Disfunction here. One could choose to pull in different directions, or one could strive to make a world in which wealth, food and security is more evenly distributed. It's not just 'white man's guilt' or whatever you want to call it, to feel blessed beyond deserving to be born in a country where the infrastructure allows for a theoretically endless (although, not really) amount of options. The financial circumstances of each individual is different, but that doesn't have to mean that your level of 'economic viability' should in any way be connected to your right to live. Which is what it would come down to for some if every country should be left to its own devices. Sure, that would work splendidly for a country like mine. We could just hog all those oil-billions for ourselves and grow ever more complacent in our wealth, while the third world buckles under the weight of starving populations, corrupt regimes and whatnot. Situations which years and years of exploitation and colonial rule by western countries has helped create. Not only would they be far worse off than before, but it would destabilise the economical and humanitarian situation for a whole lot of other countries as well.

And lastly, lest we forget, the UN is actually a pretty important humanitarian organisation who does a lot of hands-on work in zones of conflict and natural disasters. Without them, several countries would be in pretty dire straits concerning refugees, food distribution, water supplies, security, etc. No civilized country should stand idly by while thousands - or even millions - of men, women and children die.

So, yeah... This is not all directed at you, edible eye, I just used some statements you made as a starting point for a little rambling.
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Old 02-09-2006, 03:40 PM   #21
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So, you're saying we, as americans, have a responsibility to give less fortunate countries food, shelter, clothing, money, education, etc? That we're "required" to as a nation because we're bigger and stronger? why?
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Would you find yourself [or]
Find yourself afraid to see?..." -NIN
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Old 02-09-2006, 03:50 PM   #22
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I'm not saying you have to. Plenty of Americans could probably use all those things, and more too. But if you see an old guy fall in the street, unable to get up, wouldn't you be kind of an asshole not to help him back on his feet? Even if the neighbourhood he falls in is not your own? Even if he is an African, Pakistani or Thai?

Tell you the truth, as long as they don't invest my tax money in anti-personell-mine manufacturing or shit like that, i.e. things that are harmful to other people, I don't give a rat's ass which country they go to. As long as it's something useful. Most of it will wind up here, anyway.
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Old 02-09-2006, 04:29 PM   #23
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ok. you have a point. but its not that cut and dry. I'd help the old guy if i didn't know who he was. or if i knew him to be a decent guy. if i knew him to be an asshole, i'd keep walking, and hope a truck ran over his ass.

Personally, I have no problem with anybody coming to the states to live and work, regardless of what country they're from or what race they are, or what reasons they have for coming here. As long as they're doing it by the book and have to earn their way the same as I do, as a legal citizen. Maybe their country is fucked up and they want to get out and live somewhere where they can enjoy themselves and raise a family or sheep or whatever the hell it is they want to do, without the government harrassing them. Fine, I don't blame them one bit. But what I do have a problem with is people coming here and being handed money they didn't earn, living in houses they didn't buy, taking hand-outs left and right, and never having to pay a dime in taxes. While i'm busting my ass every day, as a legal citizen, trying to pay my bills and save up for that house or that car, or whatever the hell it is I want or need. Maybe if less of my tax money was being spent to help feed their sorry asses I'd be able to save a bit more.

Mexicans coming across the border to live here because they don't like living in mexico. My solution - shoot the fuckers and toss their bodies back over the fence. Not because i have anything against Mexicans as a race or people, but because if they want to live here, they need to go about it the legal way. Because I'm sick of seeing the fuckers standing in line at walmart, pulling out roles of 50's and 100's to pay for two or three carts of groceries consisting of items that I could never afford as a legal citizen. Because I pay taxes and they don't. Granted, they do earn their money - at least most of them. But if they were earning it legally, they sure as hell wouldn't have rolls of 100's to pull out in the check-out line, much less all the cash they send back home to support whatever family member or members they have living there that weren't fast enough to make it over the border. And its not just the mexicans. What about all the black women in the same check-out line, with their painted polished nails, gold rings and jewelry and their $200 weave they get every week, pulling out the EBT card to pay for their two carts, full of prime rib and steaks, and then raise all kind'a hell when they've got one or two items on the receipt that ebt didn't cover, so they want it taken off. (for those of you who don't know what an ebt card is, its food stamps on a credit card issued by the state). While I'm standing waiting in line behind them, with my pocket full of change to pay for my red baron pizza on my way home from work, cause that's all i can afford that night, or week.

I don't have a problem with correcting a problem that the us directly caused in another country. If we fucked up then we should be the first to fix it. But when its something we had nothing to do with, and instead were asked to come help out, then we get slapped with trying to take control. bull shit. if your sink is broken and you ask me to fix it, don't bitch and moan cause you don't like the way i fixed it. if so, fix it your fucking self. And if i'm the one paying your rent, then i have free reign over your house. Don't want me there? Pay your own rent.
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"What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you wanted to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks?
Would you find yourself [or]
Find yourself afraid to see?..." -NIN
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Old 02-10-2006, 06:12 AM   #24
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I don't think the states should give money to anyone or invade anywhere until they fix their own problems at home.

I mean, I live in a country with free healthcare. We also have a welfare system that not only pays for all your needs if you become unemployed, it also pays out weekly checks to those under the poverty line to keep their income in line with the rest of the country.

We have no poverty as such, no homelessness (with the exception of a few illegals running about dublin now), and one of the lowest crime rates in the world. We don't however go telling the rest of the world how brilliant we are and try to force our way of life and our government on them. I mean, most americans don't know they live in the second percentile of prefered countries of residence anymore. What I mean by that is most of Europe, and parts of Asia now have a higher standard of living than most of the states. This means we have overcome many problems that the US has not (ie. healthcare, social security, etc). So when I see gw or any of his cronies talking about bringing a better way of life to other people whether it be through war or giving them monies to start US based programmes, I find it kinda funny.
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Old 02-10-2006, 06:22 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ExistentialDisorder
But what I do have a problem with is people coming here and being handed money they didn't earn, living in houses they didn't buy, taking hand-outs left and right, and never having to pay a dime in taxes. While i'm busting my ass every day, as a legal citizen, trying to pay my bills and save up for that house or that car, or whatever the hell it is I want or need. Maybe if less of my tax money was being spent to help feed their sorry asses I'd be able to save a bit more.

Mexicans coming across the border to live here because they don't like living in mexico. My solution - shoot the fuckers and toss their bodies back over the fence. Not because i have anything against Mexicans as a race or people, but because if they want to live here, they need to go about it the legal way. Because I'm sick of seeing the fuckers standing in line at walmart, pulling out roles of 50's and 100's to pay for two or three carts of groceries consisting of items that I could never afford as a legal citizen.
See, if you think about this, its funny for the reasons in me last post here. The US has poverty and homelessness because it can't, or should I say doesn't support its own people. Therefore, illegals come in and mingle right in with the masses of other homeless people in the cities there and cause the problem yer talking about there.

Here, where we have the dole and everyone gets a check if your a citizen and no homelessness, we notice when people come into our country and end up on the street, as we have no areas for homeless people and they stick out like a flashlite in the dark. Therefore they are found and sent packing or given a chance to file for legal citizenship based on qualifications (if they have none they are sent packing).

If you eliminate poverty, fix the homeless problem, and fix your healthcare, you will actually have LESS illegals there, as they will have nowhere to go and no groups to support them.

As long as your own citizens are having to live on the streets and survive then illegals coming in can easily infiltrate this level of society and as you said become a burden on your system.
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