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Shill Post your website announcements here. Anything that is blatantly SPAM (nigerian schemes, make money fast, etc) will be deleted. Actually, we'd probably keep the nigerian schemes around to make fun of it.

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Old 04-18-2011, 12:25 PM   #201
Ben Lahnger
 
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That's nothing - I've bathed in Devil's Lake. It was invigorating!
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Old 04-18-2011, 01:29 PM   #202
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well devils lake is pretty bad, but devils cove is really bad, it so hot there. how big is devils lake? by the way
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Old 04-18-2011, 04:48 PM   #203
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Old 04-18-2011, 05:10 PM   #204
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It's about 0.5 miles wide by 1.5 miles long.

http://bit.ly/devilslake

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death takes the innocent young,
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and those who are very well hung.


Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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Old 04-18-2011, 05:54 PM   #205
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devils lake seems to be a nice place I really like to go there one day. maybe there needs to be a church down there somewhere. I might open up my first gothic church there, who thinks I should?
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Old 04-18-2011, 07:10 PM   #206
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Only if you open the church of Gumby.

If you've got a heart then Gumby's a part of you.
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As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.


Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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Old 04-18-2011, 08:04 PM   #207
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I will do this, I will make a church with gumby a part of it, one of the main charector, I will even make a statue of him, gumby in my church though is one that accepted jesus as his lord, and savior. is that good enough? I will call it gumbys, church of god, I play gumby
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Old 04-18-2011, 09:43 PM   #208
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jesus loves gumby too, I am thinking of changing my name to gumby
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Old 04-18-2011, 11:51 PM   #209
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You are so spiritual.
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Old 04-19-2011, 07:27 AM   #210
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He was once a little green slab of clay. Gumby!
But now he's risen, so you should praise him today. Gumby!
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As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.


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Old 04-19-2011, 10:04 AM   #211
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I only praise jesus, not gumby, all praise,and glory to jesus the christ
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Old 04-19-2011, 12:13 PM   #212
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gumby is not god, jesus is god,
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Old 04-19-2011, 03:06 PM   #213
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Originally Posted by pothead View Post
devils lake seems to be a nice place I really like to go there one day. maybe there needs to be a church down there somewhere. I might open up my first gothic church there, who thinks I should?
I agree with this but if you are really going to create a church down there, be realistic. Make the church only about God. None of this Gumby bullshit. All praise be to the glory of God.
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Old 04-19-2011, 03:50 PM   #214
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According to theology, Hell wasn't made at all. It is GOING to be. If you're going to believe Christian mythology, at least do it right. As a matter of fact, the Hebrews didn't even believe in a soul. They believed that the physical body itself would be ressurected at the end of time, in perfect health, so that they could be judged. Hell would then be created after that, and Satan cast in with sinners--that is, if you believe in "our" Satan. It translates to "the accuser", with his role being to tempt people and then point and accuse them. He was no more than a mischief-maker in the Old Testament.

On top of that, angels and demons are virtually exactly the same thing with no difference in strength, and it is said that spirits have appointed roles. That means they have jobs that God gave them--they're not "free spirits". No pun intended.

The problem with this religeon is that it's all hearsay and rationalizations left over from the Dark Ages, with a few outright lies from the Catholic Church thrown in. After all, you don't rise to World Power without a few lies.

What if Jesus dying for our sins was just an example of how a benevolent philosophy gets a person killed when he makes enough noise? You know who else died for our sins? Ghandi.

THE FUCKING POINT OF BEING A CHRISTIAN IS TO DO WHAT JESUS--AND ONLY JESUS--TOLD YOU TO!!!
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Old 04-19-2011, 03:52 PM   #215
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By the way, fuck you Renatus. Back the fuck off Kentucky.

And hey Pothead--where do you live? And do they have Chronic there?
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Old 04-19-2011, 05:15 PM   #216
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I live in corbin, the hometown of kfc. according to some theologies hell wasn't created, then there are other theologies that say that it was, and angels have free will, the angels are harvesters, soul reapers. They fight against demons, and yes there is a difference in power between the angels and demons, first there is 2 times more angels than demons, and michel the ark angel is the strongest angel, he beats satan at the time of the end. also okay I have an idea of setting up a gothic church, and yes I will make it all about God, not gumby, jesus deserves all praise, and glory, the chruch will just have a gothic theam to it, like one of those old cathedrals. although instead of gargoiles I will have angels on each corner.
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Old 04-19-2011, 09:19 PM   #217
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yes night wolf a gothic style church would draw in attention. maybe I might have a large following one day
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Old 04-19-2011, 10:27 PM   #218
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eternal life is the gift to us from jesus if we believe in him
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Old 04-20-2011, 09:39 AM   #219
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You disrespect my Gumby religion? Think how much more peaceful a world we would have if everyone wanted to be like Gumby.

Fine. Done playing.

The bible is not the word of god. It is the most undisciplined, inaccurate, apocryphal and unfathomably popular history book of all time.

"So it happens, therefore, that millions of people today know of Nebuchadnezzar, and have never heard of Pericles, simply because Nebuchadnezzar is mentioned prominently in the Bible and Pericles is never mentioned at all.

Millions know of Ahasuerus as a Persian king who married Ester, even though there is no record of such an event outside of the Bible. Most of those same millions never suspect that he is better known to modern historians as Xerxes and that the most important event in his reign was an invasion of Greece that ended in utter defeat. That invasion is not mentioned in the Bible.

Millions know certain minor Egyptian Pharaohs, such as Shishak and Necho, who are mentioned in the Bible, but have never heard of the great conquering Pharaoh, Thutmose III, who is not. People whose very existance is doubtful, such as Nimrod and the queen of Sheba, are household words because they are mentioned in the Bible, while figures who were colossal in their day are sunk in oblivion because they are not."

* excerpted from Introduction of 'Asimov's Guide to the Bible'

And so on ...

And, to put a little cherry on top of my I scream Sunday, here's an excerpt from that same book, pages 17-18:

"Genesis 1:1. In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

The Hebrew word, translated here as God, is 'Elohim' and that is a plural form which would ordinarily (if tradition were defied) be translated 'gods.' It is possible that in the earliest traditions on which the Bible is based, the creation was indeed the work of a plurality of gods. The firmly monotheistic Biblical writers would carefully have eliminated such polytheism, but could not perhaps do any-thing with the firmly ingrained term 'Elohim.' It was too familiar to change.

Some hints of polytheism seem to have survived the editing. Thus, after the first created man disobeys God's injunction not to eat of the tree of knowledge, God is quoted as saying:

Genesis 3:22. ... Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil ...

Then, too, still later, when God is concerned over mankind's arrogance in attempting to build a tower that would reach heaven, He is quoted as saying:

Genesis 11:7. Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language ...

It is possible to argue that this is not true evidence of early polytheism. God might be viewed as using the royal 'we'; or as speaking to an angelic audience; or even, in the Christian view, as speaking in the persons of the Trinity.

Nevertheless, as far as we know the history of religion outside the Bible, early beliefs were always polytheistic and monotheism was a late development in the history of ideas."

This is just the first of many rewrites done on the Bible through the years. This cannot be the word of god ... it wouldn't need an editor.

Love, Ben.

PS. - I hold people who believe in god in the same regard as I do people who believe in UFO's ... it's the same deal. You're all self-delusional, except the UFO people have more evidence.
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As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.


Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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Old 04-20-2011, 12:22 PM   #220
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ben lahger, the bible mentions a lot of ppl but what you have to underatnd is that it is a jewish history book, the number one best selling book of all time. Many ppl believe in the bible, the jesus is the God of peace, gumby is not peaceful, yes I dissrespect gumby, I honor jesus, the gospel of peace is A good gospel, and the bible is the word, of fGod , the king james version bible was just translated from the original text of hebrew, it was never rewrote in any form.
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Old 04-20-2011, 12:40 PM   #221
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the king james version bible was just translated from the original text of hebrew, it was never rewrote in any form.
It's also one of the many mistranslations of the bible ( you have absolutely no proof that the people who translated it were fluent enough in the language it was written in to be able to translate it accurately ) , and King James commissioned a compilation of the APPROVED books of the bible which form the version christians use today.

Quote:
As a result of the Hampton Court Conference a new translation and compilation of approved books of the Bible was commissioned to resolve issues with translations then being used. The Authorised King James Version, as it came to be known, was completed in 1611 and is considered a masterpiece of Jacobean prose.[112] It is still in widespread use.
( taken from wikipedia )


Note the word approved? He asked for the books HE ( and presumably his advisors) approved of to be made into one book.

What of the bits he decided he didn't like? What, suddenly Jesus didn't say/do any of that? Such and such an event did not occur because King James doesn't think it's a good plotline?

You're not even following the closest original version of your own holy book for fucks sake.

Not only are you living your life according to an ancient game of chinese whispers made by human beings , you're basing your beliefs on a book that was effectively thrown together by a man who wasn't even a fucking priest, didn't do tetranslation himself, and basically chucked out the bit's he didn't think much of.
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Old 04-20-2011, 12:42 PM   #222
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How is this thread still alive?
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Old 04-20-2011, 06:19 PM   #223
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there was cult members that had there own books that the catholic church had collected, but those books like the book of judas, don't belong in the bible, I mean judas couldn't have wrote a book, he hung himself before the others wrote there books, so if judas ever did write a book it would be the first book in the bible, but since he didn't write a book yet a cult that followed him did it makes more sense that those other cult books don't belong in the bible, and king james just had it translated by his advissors, he didn't translate the bible himself, look up the dead sea scrolls all those bible books were found in the dead sea scrolls, all but the cult books, all that king james did wasa took the books that the catholic church collected threw the years, and sperated those that didn't belong in the bible, those books didn't fit in with the story of the bible, those books left out, shouldn't have been in the bible those were the cults gospels that the catholic church collected from cults. also this thread is still alive because God wants it to be alive
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Old 04-20-2011, 11:30 PM   #224
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there is alway skeptics of the bible. there will always be, but what the king jame version bible says is true. The bible is the word of God threw men.
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Old 04-20-2011, 11:33 PM   #225
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jesus says one thing that we should do, and that's love thy neighbor, as thyself. the is the only thing jesus told me to do that, and follow him.
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