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Shill Post your website announcements here. Anything that is blatantly SPAM (nigerian schemes, make money fast, etc) will be deleted. Actually, we'd probably keep the nigerian schemes around to make fun of it.

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Old 03-30-2011, 05:23 PM   #1
pothead
 
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Message of Salvation

Only one path to heaven.!! Free ticket!! Message of salvation!!tell everyone you know!! All You have to do is believe in Jesus Christ! I am writing you only as a witness I only wish for anyone who reads this message to pray!! I mean what would it hurt? you only have to pray this one simple prayer, and the Lord Jesus says in his word whosoever shall call upon the name of the lord shall be saved, that's a definite shall be forever saved forever which means you are destined to go to heaven. Just plz pray with me this one simple prayer. Lord Jesus I believe in you Lord I know I can't save myself, will you plz save me I know I'm a sinner Jesus, but I believe you died on the cross for my sins, and that God the father rose you from the dead after 3 days Plz forgive me of my sins Jesus! I accept you into my heart Lord as my personal Lord, and savior I pray this in your name amen !!!!!!!
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Old 03-30-2011, 05:32 PM   #2
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The fact you listed your location as Kentucky is a giveaway.
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Old 03-30-2011, 05:38 PM   #3
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yes kentucky is where I moved to from michigan back a long time ago
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Old 03-30-2011, 05:47 PM   #4
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I am Jesus and you are an asshole.
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Old 03-30-2011, 05:53 PM   #5
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Dammit Kontan, stop screwing with us.
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Old 03-30-2011, 05:56 PM   #6
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I am not Kontan, I am Jesus.
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Old 03-30-2011, 06:03 PM   #7
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Goddammit.

You really are real.

I've been such a dick.
Oh well, too late to regret.
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Old 03-30-2011, 06:59 PM   #8
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I am Jesus and you are an asshole.
Long time no see.
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Old 03-30-2011, 07:45 PM   #9
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Dangit! And here I already had my handbasket picked out.
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As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.


Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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Old 03-30-2011, 07:58 PM   #10
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salvation in the blood

Only one path to heaven.!! Free ticket!! Message of salvation!!tell everyone you know!! All You have to do is believe in Jesus Christ! I am writing you only as a witness I only wish for anyone who reads this message to pray!! I mean what would it hurt? you only have to pray this one simple prayer, and the Lord Jesus says in his word whosoever shall call upon the name of the lord shall be saved, that's a definite shall be forever saved forever which means you are destined to go to heaven. Just plz pray with me this one simple prayer. Lord Jesus I believe in you Lord I know I can't save myself, will you plz save me I know I'm a sinner Jesus, but I believe you died on the cross for my sins, and that God the father rose you from the dead after 3 days Plz forgive me of my sins Jesus! I accept you into my heart Lord as my personal Lord, and savior I pray this in your name amen !!!!!!!
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Old 03-30-2011, 08:00 PM   #11
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Jesus please forgive me of my sins...with your big huge DICK.
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Old 03-30-2011, 08:02 PM   #12
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Maybe if you obey his ten S&M commandments, he'll baptize you in his jism!

(* - S&M might stand for salvation and mercy ... but I doubt it.)
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Lead me not into temptation ... follow me, I know a shortcut!

As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.


Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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Old 03-30-2011, 08:04 PM   #13
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I'll never think of salvation and mercy the same way again...
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Old 03-30-2011, 08:09 PM   #14
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I'm not joking there is only one path to heaven
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Old 03-30-2011, 08:10 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pothead View Post
Only one path to heaven.!! Free ticket!! Message of salvation!!tell everyone you know!! All You have to do is believe in Jesus Christ! I am writing you only as a witness I only wish for anyone who reads this message to pray!! I mean what would it hurt? you only have to pray this one simple prayer, and the Lord Jesus says in his word whosoever shall call upon the name of the lord shall be saved, that's a definite shall be forever saved forever which means you are destined to go to heaven. Just plz pray with me this one simple prayer. Lord Jesus I believe in you Lord I know I can't save myself, will you plz save me I know I'm a sinner Jesus, but I believe you died on the cross for my sins, and that God the father rose you from the dead after 3 days Plz forgive me of my sins Jesus! I accept you into my heart Lord as my personal Lord, and savior I pray this in your name amen !!!!!!!
Welcome brother
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Old 03-30-2011, 08:10 PM   #16
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to pray you must speak with your mouth, the prayer, that is how you pray
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Old 03-30-2011, 08:10 PM   #17
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Quote:
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Jesus please forgive me of my sins...with your big huge DICK.
donnt be gross/.
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Old 03-30-2011, 08:11 PM   #18
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we are all brothers and sisters in Christ jesus
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Old 03-30-2011, 08:11 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pothead View Post
to pray you must speak with your mouth, the prayer, that is how you pray
We should smoke together...
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Old 03-30-2011, 08:11 PM   #20
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What manner of pot is this that your head is made of or that is on your head?
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Lead me not into temptation ... follow me, I know a shortcut!

As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.


Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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Old 03-30-2011, 08:12 PM   #21
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Blue bow pot.
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Old 03-30-2011, 08:13 PM   #22
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I don't think jesus see's anything wrong with pot, but to smoke the peace pipe with me, you must pray, remember jesus loves you
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Old 03-30-2011, 08:15 PM   #23
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my hat is made of hemp
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Old 03-30-2011, 08:16 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pothead View Post
I don't think jesus see's anything wrong with pot, but to smoke the peace pipe with me, you must pray, remember jesus loves you
Of course he does, everyone does. EVEN YOU.
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Old 03-30-2011, 08:16 PM   #25
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Jesus loves me?

Well, he's gotta buy me dinner first before we can go any further.
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Lead me not into temptation ... follow me, I know a shortcut!

As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.


Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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