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Old 08-05-2010, 11:49 AM   #26
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Who said anything about chopping?
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Old 08-05-2010, 11:51 AM   #27
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I was under the impression that machetes are generally used for chopping.
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Old 08-05-2010, 11:58 AM   #28
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Hey I could have used the machete for fish or cuting the heads of the zombie twilight fans.
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Old 08-05-2010, 12:09 PM   #29
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Be careful which twitards you chop into pieces... some of them are my friends and family.. *sniff* even if they are slightly zombified.
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Old 08-05-2010, 12:17 PM   #30
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Hey why don't we make a remake of I am legend but we take one of the zombie and strap them to a table and try to help them.
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Old 08-05-2010, 12:25 PM   #31
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Give me The Omega Man any day!
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death takes the innocent young,
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Old 08-05-2010, 01:31 PM   #32
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Heh heh....I wonder if soylent green is good with soy sauce.
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Old 08-05-2010, 02:37 PM   #33
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I think it will add a nice kick to the victims.
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Old 08-05-2010, 03:23 PM   #34
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Very well, bring out the victim-child.
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Old 08-05-2010, 03:39 PM   #35
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"igor!"
*hunched man wobbles over to child and straps her to the chair*
"Now child who are you?"
SILENCE
*gets a picture of edwin, child squeals*
"This is a very bad man, child"
*Child shakes head*
"Ape! this child is rottened to the core!"
*throws a match on the picture, child screams*
"Ape, you could handle it from here"
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Old 08-05-2010, 04:45 PM   #36
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*get's the "open eye holdey thingy" *(with which to hold the child's eyes open)

*Puts on some Helsing*

*regularly puts eye drops in the eyes to keep them moist*

Sparkles wont save you now.
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Old 08-05-2010, 05:34 PM   #37
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*Laughs evily*
"we should get a dummie that looks like Edwin and then stab him until she snaps out of it"
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Old 08-05-2010, 06:01 PM   #38
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Perhaps we should explain to her that stalkers are never emo vampires.
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Old 08-05-2010, 06:08 PM   #39
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Yeah or we could try Hypnosis
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Old 08-05-2010, 06:13 PM   #40
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I dunno.. I liked the slightly clockwork orange-esqe thing we had going on there for a bit....
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Old 08-05-2010, 06:28 PM   #41
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Ok then scratch off hypnosis,
"let's take the child to the electric chair"
*grabs a hand full of the childs hair and drags her to the chair, child screams while being straped to the chair*
"Ape, on the count of three flick the switch on,
One
Two
Three!...
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Old 08-05-2010, 07:33 PM   #42
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Hey... no one should get chaired for liking shitty fiction... otherwise I would have gotten it years ago.
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Old 08-05-2010, 08:38 PM   #43
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OMG, why is it soooooooo important to let people know Twilight sucks. So it's another movie, similiar to other movies or they said some other fictional thing different from the other fictional thing. I'm tired and going to sleep.
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Old 08-05-2010, 08:44 PM   #44
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That's the point ... it's not similar to other movies. It not only is a bad movie, but it makes a mockery of good movies that came before it ... an insult that CANNOT be left to stand!
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As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
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and those who are very well hung.


Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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Old 08-05-2010, 10:31 PM   #45
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Heck I wish I could write a 'shitty' fiction novel like Twilight and sell 85 million copies and get paid $750,000 advance for three books... Where do I sign up? So she made her vampires different, so did LJ Smith, by giving them rings to walk in the sunlight. etc. etc. etc.

What will they think up next - academies that would be witches go to on magical trains at platform 9 and three quarters?

Catch - *shrug*

Ben - Omega man - that was good - Charlton heston was it?
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Old 08-05-2010, 10:47 PM   #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fruitbat View Post
Heck I wish I could write a 'shitty' fiction novel like Twilight and sell 85 million copies and get paid $750,000 advance for three books... Where do I sign up? So she made her vampires different, so did LJ Smith, by giving them rings to walk in the sunlight. etc. etc. etc.
it's not that she made them different, it's the fact that she stripped away everything that makes a vampire vampire, the only thing they do have in common with vampires is immortality and blood drinking.
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Old 08-05-2010, 10:56 PM   #47
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but there are some who are still nasty - the voltaire kill unsuspecting tourists, Victoria makes a vamp army.

Is it the venom/no coffins/can go out in daylight that is the dealbreaker? I'm curious about what it is you don't like about it, not just that the SM's vampires are stupid - and I'll go and look at the older threads when I get chance.
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Old 08-05-2010, 11:44 PM   #48
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I dunno.. I think its the stalking, stupid drama and pedophilia that really get me.. they're portrayed like its ok... like a dude who's over a hundred has any business trying to bag a 16 year old nymphet....*sicky noises*
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Old 08-05-2010, 11:49 PM   #49
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This is so not special to Twilight but I do hate how vampires are now just sexy misunderstood souls, although I think Anne Rice is to blame for that trend, Meyer just made them even far more tame. When I was a kid vampires scared the SHIT out of me. I saw a still from the original Nosferatu movie in a book when I was like, 8, and I was afraid of the book itself ever since. That Simpsons episode where Mr.Burns was a vampire gave me nightmares, as did some really freaky short stories by Bruce Coville (one of them was titled Vampire For Hire, wonder if its still actually scary?), and I couldn't read Dracula before going to bed when I read it in junior high. But after that it seems like vampires just weren't scary, my sister loved them in the Twilight sort of way because of Anne Rice, which completely ruined it for me I think. I miss the good scare they gave.

And word on the stalking shit, and Mary Sue Bella, but its just that kind of lit I think.
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Old 08-06-2010, 02:37 AM   #50
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AD - *nods*

The majority of vampire books directed at the YA audience are pretty much the same. Vampires have gone from icky looking people to gorgeous hunks/honeys.

Mary Sue Bella - that's a good one :-D
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