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Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books.

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Old 01-22-2010, 01:53 PM   #51
JCC
 
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Actually Tony, this situation is really more like SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH AND LISTEN TO THE JUDGE.
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Old 01-22-2010, 01:57 PM   #52
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Now, don't be jealous just because a single post from me warrants a swift and immediate response while you're reduced to chasing her via email. Doesn't mean she doesn't think you're, y'know, real cute and all.
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Old 01-22-2010, 02:04 PM   #53
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I haven't emailed her for a while. Our affection transcends that of verbal communication; it is a stirring in the very soul. Good luck with the Hamlet debate though, at least while you're handing out copies of 'Marley and Me' to college students as me and Judge are interminably locked in the fiery embrace of lust you can cheer yourself with the thought that you almost, kinda, maybe came close to winning a contest with her resplendent Majesty.
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Old 01-22-2010, 02:08 PM   #54
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Behind that elusive bitch's hoity facade is a creature begging to be taken in hand, and once I've accomplished the inevitable I'll forbid her from having any contact with you. And obeying me will turn her on like a tap that leaks LIQUID COOZE.
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Old 01-22-2010, 02:14 PM   #55
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Jesus, Tony, I'm frail and ill; laughing fits aren't good for me, cut that shit out. Perhaps beyond the Judge's steely exterior is a woman waiting to be swept from her feet, but the implication that you are the man for the job is like the plot of an obnoxiously absurd Coens movie, except that instead of Steve Buscemi and his blonde friend fucking you over, you just get to see Judge sucking my dick with that trademark redheaded fervour. Keep plugging though, man, maybe she'll let you kiss her cheek on New Year's Eve.
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Old 01-22-2010, 02:29 PM   #56
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Yeah, nothing sexual about that post.
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Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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Old 01-22-2010, 02:32 PM   #57
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Yeah, nothing sexual about that post.
I'm allowed to be overtly sexual, people like me.
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Old 01-22-2010, 02:39 PM   #58
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Bro, it’s a beautiful dream, but face the reality – you’ll be lucky if you get a kiss on the forehead and your hair ruffled. Especially now that it’s become apparent that all these months of careful courtly shit and quasi-chaste flirtation on your part have degenerated into the coarse image of Judge on her knees you’ve just revealed. Dude, seriously, kill a hooker if you need to, but you have got to find a way past this maiden/mother/whore dichotomy you’ve built your obsession on.
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Old 01-22-2010, 02:41 PM   #59
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Bro, it’s a beautiful dream, but face the reality – you’ll be lucky if you get a kiss on the forehead and your hair ruffled. Especially now that it’s become apparent that all these months of careful courtly shit and quasi-chaste flirtation on your part have degenerated into the coarse image of Judge on her knees you’ve just revealed. Dude, seriously, kill a hooker if you need to, but you have got to find a way past this maiden/mother/whore dichotomy you’ve built your obsession with her on.
Fuck you man, Oedipus rode the maiden/mother/whore wave to pussy paradise; and if anyone here is a Greek hero, it's me.
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Old 01-22-2010, 02:54 PM   #60
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Know how you know when it's pussy paradise? The chick doesn't off herself afterwards, and self-inflicted blindness remains a mere squeamish curiosity. This state of affairs generally means you're doing it wrong.
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Old 01-22-2010, 02:57 PM   #61
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Know how you know when it's pussy paradise? The chick doesn't off herself afterwards, and self-inflicted blindness remains a mere squeamish curiosity. This state of affairs generally means you're doing it wrong.
Live in the now, bro. This is why Judge needs a younger man.
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Old 01-22-2010, 03:05 PM   #62
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Live in the now, bro. This is why Judge needs a younger man.
I'm three years younger.

Can't fight destiny, kiddo.
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Old 01-23-2010, 03:07 AM   #63
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give me my romeo , and when i shall die ,take him and cut him out in little stars ,and he will make heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun.
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Old 01-23-2010, 03:13 AM   #64
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This isn't about Shakespeare any more, kid, it's about me and the Judge fucking.
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Old 04-08-2010, 02:49 PM   #65
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So, I finally watched DT's Hamlet. Win all round - best Polonius I ever saw. Weakest link was Ophelia, that bint lowered the tone something awful.
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Hula, hula, said the witches. - Norman Mailer
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Old 05-07-2010, 02:29 AM   #66
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Oh, she was heinous. I actually felt embarrassed for her when she shouted, "O heavenly powers, resore him!"
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Old 05-11-2010, 03:16 PM   #67
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There are so many but the one that I use most often toward others is

you should be women, and yet your beards forbid me to interpret that you are so.
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Old 02-14-2014, 04:31 AM   #68
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Oh god, how do I choose?!
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Old 07-08-2014, 05:42 AM   #69
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I am a bastard too; I love bastards: I
am a bastard begot, bastard instructed, bastard
in mind, bastard in valour, in every thing illegi-
timate. One bear will not bite another, and
wherefore should one bastard? Take heed, the
quarrel's most ominous to us: if the son of a
whore fight for a whore, he tempts judgment.
Farewell, bastard

Thersites from Troilus & Cressida
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