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Old 08-26-2011, 01:09 AM   #1
CptSternn
 
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Wtf?

http://www.amazon.com/Holy-Bible-Sto...pr_product_top

This must be a sign of some type of impending doom.
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Old 08-26-2011, 02:43 AM   #2
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Instead of boooooring pictures of the Last Supper and the probable locations of holy sites, I get AWESOME pictures of crashes and and cars going in circles! I could practically smell the burning rubber and see the girls in halter tops firing cheap t-shirts out of a cannon at me...all the while learning who begat Bathsheba! (SPOILER ALERT: It was Eliam)

There is no better feeling than cracking open a six-pack on a Sunday morning and sitting down and reading my Stock Car bible. Because if there's one thing religion needs...it's definitely DRAFTING!
BOOGITY BOOGITY BOOGITY LET"S GO RACING....umm....God? 0_o
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Old 08-26-2011, 05:28 AM   #3
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Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!
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Old 08-26-2011, 05:50 AM   #4
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Mixing odd combinations like Batman and Philosophy:
http://www.amazon.com/Batman-Philoso...4362935&sr=1-1
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Old 08-26-2011, 09:05 AM   #5
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BOOGITY BOOGITY BOOGITY LET"S GO RACING....umm....God? 0_o
Although I'm not a NASCAR fan, that sounds a lot more fun than catholic church.
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Old 08-26-2011, 09:30 AM   #6
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Although I'm not a NASCAR fan, that sounds a lot more fun than catholic church.
ahem........
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Old 08-26-2011, 10:24 AM   #7
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Catholic church IS boring, dude. I've been there. Lutheran services aren't much better. It's not an insult to you, so why bother with 'ahem'?
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Old 08-26-2011, 11:21 AM   #8
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Catholic church IS boring, dude. I've been there. Lutheran services aren't much better. It's not an insult to you, so why bother with 'ahem'?
Church of Christ, once upon a time. Mostly all I did was read the hymn titles and add "between the sheets" after each one.
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Old 08-26-2011, 11:29 AM   #9
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Catholic church IS boring, dude. I've been there. Lutheran services aren't much better. It's not an insult to you, so why bother with 'ahem'?
Two reasons
1. I like teasing you with it
2. I've been to some really good masses. Ever heard of Archbishop Timothy Dolan? He's a funny guy. Not afraid to make jokes in mass, and drink some "brews" (that's what some people here call beers) in his free time. From what I've seen, he's good friends with Regis Philbin now that he's moved to New York.
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Old 08-26-2011, 11:31 AM   #10
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Raised Catholic. It is VERY boring. Every mass at every church i've been too has been the same. Everyone recites everything by memory no feelings are heard in their words. It's like being in a room full of robots. Only when mass is over is when you see some emotion...little old ladies are pushing toddlers out of the way to get to the exit as soon as possible.

Ok that last bit is an exaggeration but it is like watching cattle being herded through a chute. In ten minutes the church parking lot is deserted. It's like they (we) can't get the fuck away fast enough.

It is boring.

Unless of course you have your cellphone and looking up convent porn.
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Old 08-26-2011, 11:35 AM   #11
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Or that vampire/satan nun porn. Now that's entertaining!
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Old 08-26-2011, 11:36 AM   #12
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Two reasons
1. I like teasing you with it
2. I've been to some really good masses. Ever heard of Archbishop Timothy Dolan? He's a funny guy. Not afraid to make jokes in mass, and drink some "brews" (that's what some people here call beers) in his free time. From what I've seen, he's good friends with Regis Philbin now that he's moved to New York.
They call it 'brews' down here, too. I don't care what cutesy name they give it, doesn't taste half as good as Crown.

Spooky, next time say "in your pants" after each line.
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Old 08-27-2011, 01:43 AM   #13
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Mass isn't so bad. It's much more fun in Ireland. We are in an out in like 30 minutes and no one wears suits or ties unless someone dies.

They also have it five times a day everyday so you can pop in whenever you like.
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Old 08-27-2011, 05:56 AM   #14
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I haven't been to a Catholic mass actually o.o I wouldn't even know where to go for those as the majority of my country's churches are Protestant churches.
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Old 08-27-2011, 06:23 AM   #15
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Due to the large population of German descent in my part of Texas we seem to have just as many Catholic/Lutheran churches as Baptist/Pentacostal. The bad thing about any church is that all of the fun stuff is a sin.
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Old 08-27-2011, 07:31 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by CptSternn View Post
Mass isn't so bad. It's much more fun in Ireland. We are in an out in like 30 minutes and no one wears suits or ties unless someone dies.

They also have it five times a day everyday so you can pop in whenever you like.
Someone dies five time a day and you have to wear a suit and tie?
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Old 08-27-2011, 08:52 AM   #17
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They call it 'brews' down here, too. I don't care what cutesy name they give it, doesn't taste half as good as Crown.
When you travel to "da nort-east" corner of the state of Wisconsin where "da Yoopers" live (Yooper = UP'er = Upper Peninsula), where they call them "bahrley-pops", I promise you they taste better.

(Aside from the point: Everyone goes on about how women just swoon over that marble-mouthed accent they call Cajun, but I never hear that the ladies get heated up over being asked, "Led's go get us a bahrley-pop, dare, eh?")

When I was attending Catholic mass as a child, everything was in Latin. There were no translations in the hymnals at that time, so while everyone was participating in this foreign language chant and response that no one understood, my ADHD mind was free to wander off to whatever superhero/astronaut/GI Joe adventure I wanted to conjure up. It wasn't so bad.

It wasn't until they translated everything to English that I became bored to tears.

I also didn't mind switching from Catholic school to public school mid-sixth-grade. Ever since I've had a particularly disturbed view of nuns ... and rulers.
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the rolling in money,
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