A dying flame

Cruel Intentions · 02-10-2006, 06:54 AM

At what age are you too old to stay gothic?

I'm 17 and only recently turned goth. My parents aren't too happy but that's not my problem. When does it stop being cool and start being geeky?

Blushing Heliophobe · 02-10-2006, 06:57 AM

When you start listening to other people's opinion of your lifestyle instead of doing what's comfortable and right for you.

sheridan · 02-10-2006, 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cruel Intentions

At what age are you too old to stay gothic?

I'm 17 and only recently turned goth. My parents aren't too happy but that's not my problem. When does it stop being cool and start being geeky?

I'm in my thirties, and I know plenty of Goth-types who are older than me (going into forties, fifties and even a few in their sixties). Just what do you suggest they do after that certain age? Stop wearing clothes they like and listening to music they like? What do they wear and listen to instead - things they've never liked before but feel obliged to because they're too old?

Iriacynthe · 02-10-2006, 08:45 AM

I think there are some things that start looking silly when you have a certain age, like big swirly eyeliner-designs (which can be very cute when you're 16) and poofie lace mini-skirts.
But you just have to wear what you like, even if some people think it looks silly.

Bete Noire · 02-10-2006, 09:01 AM

No, not at all........:P

WolfMoon · 02-10-2006, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sheridan

I'm in my thirties, and I know plenty of Goth-types who are older than me (going into forties, fifties and even a few in their sixties). Just what do you suggest they do after that certain age? Stop wearing clothes they like and listening to music they like? What do they wear and listen to instead - things they've never liked before but feel obliged to because they're too old?

My husband always tells me that I'll have to stop being what I am at about 45. I tell him that if we survive that long, I'll thing about it.

WolfMoon · 02-10-2006, 09:57 AM

Yes, it's highly unusual.

That's why I envy her.

sheridan · 02-10-2006, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xnguela

Did you ever have to dress for the corporate world?

Is that aimed at me, or someone else?

Whichever - yes, most of my recent jobs have involved corpgoth clothing.

Empty_Purple_Stars · 02-10-2006, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WolfMoon

Yes, it's highly unusual.

That's why I envy her.

Not unusual here.

However, Portland(& the Northwest in General) is SO much more laidback than the South, for example.

It's taken awhile for this Southern Girlie to adjust to the wanton liberalism here.

But seriously Folks.

The attitudes in P-town are much more relaxed about things like piercings, hair colors and clothing, etc. etc.

Several of Manimal's Hellspawn's teachers, have multiple facial piercings. That kind of thing would NEVER fly in Deep East Texas.

It's nice to finally live somewhere you can just be whoever you want to be, without judgement or shitty looks from the surrounding populace.

Let's hope this rampant acceptance is Viral.

JuliaGaltic · 02-10-2006, 11:36 AM

I buy what I like. At work you'll most likely see me wearing tasteful black heels or my kneehighs, a black skirt, red dress shirt, my silver rings and earings, a black choker or something of the like and with my hair up in with chop sticks and, of course, my make-up to match.

That's pretty professional right? You don't usually have to compromise who you are in any place or at any age. You just have to find something you like that fits the situation.

Wolfie, I know a beautiful woman who is very near 50. She manages to pull off a mature, tastful style very unique to herself. She is a very powerful, almost dominatrix-like woman. Don't ever change girl, I like your style!

Sanctus Dei · 02-11-2006, 02:26 AM

Well, I manage a kitchen...
But I wear anything I choose, which is usually black pants, black tee, black boots..etc. I have professional styled clothes but they are all to my liking. Xng, I'm surprised you run into problems...(or could run into problems) I've never experienced any distaste for my appearence even when I'm entirely "gothed out" people actually ask me where I got this and that or ask me 'who' or 'how I' colored my hair... people here are generally accepting and kind.

DrenchedInGin · 02-12-2006, 05:14 PM

I'm of the, erm, older persuasion. Not ancient, but not exactly in my first bloom of youth.

I've tended to become more gothy as I grow older... by which I mean I tend to express myself more openly and more confidently. This is because authority comes with age, and nowadays I'm more or less my own boss so I have the freedom to be as gothy as I wish - within the bounds of society.

I'm lucky to work in an area where I have some flexibility in how I dress. (Today I'm wearing a long black Indian-style tunic with copper beading over a pair of black pyjama pants.) I do dress more conservatively when I have meetings, but since I am a mature lady I feel I have more authority to dress as I wish. That extends to cheerfully showing off my lovely tattoo. But even if I worked in a more corporate environment, I see no reason why I couldn't dress the way I choose on weekends or after work.

Remember that the goth subculture has been around for a while now, so somebody of my age being openly gothy doesn't tend to surprise anybody. I am friends with plenty of 'older' metalheads, hippies, punks etc.

So darling, don't start worrying that as the years progress you'll be expected to wear pastel sweaters or dye your hair Mundane Dull or get rid of any piercings. Just bear in mind that as you get older you'oll (hopefully) achieve more security, autonomy and confidence, which means more freedom to be yourself...

UltraNEO* · 02-13-2006, 02:59 AM

Xnguela, What's a gothic haircut or hair style when it's around? I wanna know.

Also going back to the original post. How does one wake up one morning and think "Oh I know.. I'm gonna be Gothic now"? Then choose to follow that path for the remainder, or until you decide to change?

Isn't being Gothic, something you kinda 'fall' into, a preference, or (hate to phrase it like this) a class? I'm curious, cause I can't say I've ever fallen into any class. I'm just me, an alternative, of beat individual.

She_Is_My_Sin · 02-13-2006, 10:37 AM

My friends parents used to be goths & even in their mid-thirties you can still see an influenece. They both wear lots of black & still have their old haircuts/colour, personally I think it suits them & that they maintain it well.
I think that really you should change out of it if YOU feel like it. I'm quite comfortable like this & can picture myself dressing like this when I'm older.

Tall One In Black · 02-13-2006, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UltraNEO*

How does one wake up one morning and think "Oh I know.. I'm gonna be Gothic now"?

One doesn't, unless one is trying to fit in with friends or scare one's parents. One can certainly wake up one morning and dress gothic, but it would just be a costume - might as well dress like Glinda the Good Witch or an Oompa Loompa.

Circle V · 02-13-2006, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tall One In Black

One doesn't, unless one is trying to fit in with friends or scare one's parents. One can certainly wake up one morning and dress gothic, but it would just be a costume - might as well dress like Glinda the Good Witch or an Oompa Loompa.

That was almost how it worked for me-- except that, unlike most, my decision to "go Goth" eventually, after hours of research and speculation, morphed into a more mature decision to consider becoming part of the Gothic subculture.

Interestingly enough, I decided against it in the end. Yet here I am.

KeltikAon · 02-13-2006, 10:25 PM

I'm one of the older goths lingering about here. I feel no need to change the way I present myself simply because I am growing older. That is not to say when I am at work I openly defy the dress code. Well, that's not entirely true, I did have one job where I defied the "no visable tattoo" rule (largely due to them implimenting said rule during my employment there). However, there are ways to express your individuality while still conforming to the workplace.

As far as "do I look ridiculous in this outfit" goes, I don't think that age has had anything to do with that for me. If I look absurd in one outfit, I just stay away from that particular style. One of the great things about this particular subculture is that you don't have to look like everyone else. The gothic lifestyle is very accepting of individuality, hell, it encourages it. It's not about looking cool or geeky, its simply who you are.

Cruel Intentions · 02-14-2006, 05:12 AM

Phew, I suddenly don't feel as old. Thanks guys!

She_Is_My_Sin · 02-14-2006, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cruel Intentions

I'm 17 and only recently turned goth. My parents aren't too happy but that's not my problem. When does it stop being cool and start being geeky?

I don't think it ever becomes "geeky" more uncomfortable. But even if you have stopped wearing gothic clothing doesn't mean you can't give it fully up. Just add hints.
My grandma still wears clothes similar to a 50's style & it looks fine on her. & I never found that I just suddenly turned goth. I just slowly faded into it I guess.

Metatron · 02-14-2006, 12:19 PM

I think for a lot of people they just fade into it...once you go through puberty and start developing a taste for your main interests, you lean towards it and start dressing the way you feel. That's not to say most people are plain and boring...maybe.

DrenchedInGin · 02-14-2006, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KeltikAon

The gothic lifestyle is very accepting of individuality, hell, it encourages it. It's not about looking cool or geeky, its simply who you are.

Bless you darling, you said it perfectly. (Older goths unite :-)

Tall One In Black · 02-14-2006, 08:23 PM

At what age are you too old to stay gothic?

Hmmm...

I think 98. Because 99-year-olds in fishnet look geeky.

As goth standards go, I'm an eldergoth. But I still like my stripey tights and my floofy skirts and my big stompy boots. And frankly, I think I look kind of cute in them.

Like a good cheese, goths get better with age. When you're a teen, everyone thinks you're dressing in black just to scare your parents or vent some teen angst. They dismiss it as a phase. When you're older, people pay more attention; some are even interested in your motivations for being goth. Plus, when you're older, you generally have more confidence in yourself, so you feel totally at ease wearing whatever you like.

UltraNEO* · 02-14-2006, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xnguela

Most of my friends in high school were called "goth", but we were known as the smart ones. I didn't always do my homework, but I always had A's on my tests and all of my participation points.

Hmm... Does been awarded a full-scholarship count? Cause I was given one, all so many years ago when I was high school terror... was given granted full board and tuition at some fancy private Woodard School (fucking boarding school! - it's like fucking prison for kids.) Sure I boarded! I boarded Alton Towers (a local theme park) almost everyday so i could cut my french class; somehow still passed everything!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tall One In Black

As goth standards go, I'm an eldergoth. But I still like my stripey tights and my floofy skirts and my big stompy boots. And frankly, I think I look kind of cute in them.

Mmmm Boots... I love boots. Though knee high boots on a guy kinda looks funny... still Mmmm...

Just thought I'd say that.

Tall One In Black · 02-14-2006, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UltraNEO*

Mmmm Boots... I love boots. Though knee high boots on a guy kinda looks funny... still Mmmm...

Knee-high boots look good on guys.

UltraNEO* · 02-14-2006, 10:01 PM

really...

...but i'm not overly happy with the shape of my legs.. :'( Though if i had a genuine kilt, i'll be happy to wear it with some really cool heeled boots, i like ones with metal accessories.