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Old 08-16-2007, 10:49 PM   #1
DeathChii
 
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I try so hard...

I just feel like utter shit. Why am I so fucking useless. It's like no matter how hard I try nobody cares.

Sorry I just feel so horrible I can't even like explain it so pleae don't hate me...

So many of my friends are always so depressed and I always try so so hard every single day just to keep them from doing something stupid and they just don't give a fuck. All the time I try to be cheery and cheer them up, I try to be serious and give them tips, I try to relate to them and tell them How I get through it and what' I've learnt from past experience, I try to be hopeful and give them hope, I try to be funny and make them laugh, I try to be mean and make them realize how stupid they can be and nothing works. And I listen to them and let them vent, and then other times I try to give them advice, sometimes I even tell them they should see someone, but then they just get angry. And no matter what I do or how hard I try to help them they just ignore me or take everything I say and find a way to make it negative. And then they tell me I don't know how it feels, and I do, it's just when I felt that way I didn't go around complaining to my friends, I actually went out to get help, because I know You need to help YOURSELF before you can help OTHERS. I realize how hard it is, and I know that there's always a part of you that feels hopeless, but I pushed myself and I never gave up and I still keep trying and I don't understand why they won't even give me a chance I feel so worthless I can't do anyything. I try so hard I devote my life trying to help friends and I can't do anything nothing I just want to help, if someone tried to help me I would say thank you.... sorry I am just so upset I know I sound totally selfish it's just lately ... they're so oblivious of how much it hurts their friends and their families ... It's like everything I do for them doesn't help at all...and every night I feel horrible because I know I can;t help them and I don't understand why. I mean when I went through depression no one even helped me and I had to help myself and I give them everything and if someone did that for me I would be so happy I don't understand why they don't even try to take my advice they just tell me it's hopeless and I don't understand and they can't or they don't want to and I don't understand... T___T Sorry I just feel so bad ... ='( sorry if I sound selfish...

I don't even know why I am writing this I just needed to let it out and I just want to know why? Why people don't appreciate how much other people care about them and how much other people try to help... Again no one helped me no one even bothered with me, and if someone ever did I'd be the most greatful and me and so many other of their friends are always trying to make help them constantly and they won't listen I don't even think they notice... ='(

And then a lot of them all their friends will try and try so hard but they only listen to the 'person they love' [who they will die without]... Since when did friends become pointless?? ...
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Old 08-16-2007, 10:51 PM   #2
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Honey, you can't help people who refuse to help themselves. If your friends insist on being permanent victims, then you have to tell them that they either need to get help or you're going to have to cut yourself off from them until they do because they're being a drain on you. That would not be selfish because you've tried to help them and they've refused; it would be selfish of them to insist on forcing you to be around such negative energy all the time. Sometimes part of being a good friend is being a real cunt.
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Old 08-16-2007, 10:56 PM   #3
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I know but I don't want to cut myself off because I'm scared that they WILL do something really stupid and especially if they do it will be my fault...
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Old 08-16-2007, 10:57 PM   #4
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Well, how do you feel, morally, about talking to their families about it? Do they know already? Do you think they could get them some help?
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Old 08-16-2007, 11:01 PM   #5
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I haven't met most of their families, maybe seen them once or twice... The people at my school is easier because I can tell the councelors to talk to them and it's anonymous and everything, but my friends outside of school I don't know how to get them help...
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Old 08-16-2007, 11:02 PM   #6
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Do you have any other friends or close family who could help? Maybe an intervention is in order.
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Old 08-16-2007, 11:05 PM   #7
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the thing is, the one friend, that set me off right now, he doesn't give a shit about ANYONE except this girl he is supposably in love with, and she's out of the country right now. But at the same time I feel so much pain for her because my ex was kinda like him and I can't imagine how much pain he puts her through and I keep trying to tell him that. I spent hours just trying to help him a while ago so he could tell me "Maybe if she told me that I would care" ... I just felt so useless and horrible ='(
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Old 08-16-2007, 11:10 PM   #8
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It's not your fault. You can't control people, only try to help them, and if they refuse your advice, that's their problem, not yours. Just try to be a good friend; it's all you can do.
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Old 08-16-2007, 11:13 PM   #9
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If I was a good friend I would be able to help them =(
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Old 08-16-2007, 11:16 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeathChii
If I was a good friend I would be able to help them =(
There's only so much you can do bro, at the end of the day you have to ask yourself, did you do all you could? If you did and still they did something stupid or you still couldn't help them, then it's entirely them. You can't go through life blaming yourself for everything or it'll end up with you doing something stupid.
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Old 08-16-2007, 11:16 PM   #11
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No, honey, you're a good friend because you care and you are trying. It's their own fault that they won't help themselves.
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Old 08-16-2007, 11:20 PM   #12
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But I don't understand why they won't let me help them =(
I don't get it, I thought they would be happy that I cared about them... or something... gaaaah =P kidz these days...
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Old 08-16-2007, 11:23 PM   #13
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They probably are either afraid to admit that they have a problem and need help or just want attention.
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Old 08-16-2007, 11:25 PM   #14
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yeah I can't figure it out... but thank you so much and also wormboy for your advice, I feel a bit better now =]
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Like Homer's wild boar
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Old 08-16-2007, 11:27 PM   #15
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Very good. Now go spread joy and mirth throughout the land.
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Old 08-16-2007, 11:51 PM   #16
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=( My one friend won't even pretend he just tells me how useless I am...
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Old 08-16-2007, 11:56 PM   #17
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DeathChii, you are not responsible for anyone's happiness but your own. Don't ever EVER let anyone tell you different.
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Old 08-16-2007, 11:57 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeathChii
=( My one friend won't even pretend he just tells me how useless I am...
Umm...I would tell that "friend" to fuck off.
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Old 08-17-2007, 12:08 AM   #19
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OP : Thank you lol but I'm only happy when everyone else is happy xD

Nacht : Nuuuuuh T___T he's a good person except when he's being an ass... I don't think it's his fault he's just really depressed... plus I don't want to upset him more =\ he might do something T____T aaaaah
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To the somethingness
Which prevents the nothingness
Like Homer's wild boar
From trashing this way and that
Its white tusks
Through human beings
Like crackling stalks
And to nothing less
I offer this suffering of my father
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Old 08-17-2007, 12:10 AM   #20
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It's really unhealthy to base your happiness on other people's.
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Old 08-17-2007, 12:20 AM   #21
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yeah I know, I mean I have been working on it though and I am getting a lot better =] it's all an anxiety thing lol... but yeah I uno, I've been doing it less and less, but I just feel selfish if I'm happy and someone else isn't you know... like it's not faire O_o
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To the somethingness
Which prevents the nothingness
Like Homer's wild boar
From trashing this way and that
Its white tusks
Through human beings
Like crackling stalks
And to nothing less
I offer this suffering of my father
"The Offering" - Stan Rice
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Old 08-17-2007, 12:28 AM   #22
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What's not fair is denying yourself happiness because somebody else hasn't made themselves happy yet. It's up to the individual to find happiness, no one else's.
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Old 08-17-2007, 12:30 AM   #23
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lol I know I know I'm working on it =P I shouldn't get in to my anxiety now lol My thread is about my friends ^.^
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To the somethingness
Which prevents the nothingness
Like Homer's wild boar
From trashing this way and that
Its white tusks
Through human beings
Like crackling stalks
And to nothing less
I offer this suffering of my father
"The Offering" - Stan Rice
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Old 08-17-2007, 02:01 AM   #24
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listen, you sound like someone I'd love for a friend, and if your friends dont appreciate it, well then its quite simple, FUCK THEM. honestly you have precious few moments in life, enjoy all of them while you have them, dont waste your time with "friends" that treat you like crap
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Old 08-17-2007, 05:09 AM   #25
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I couldn't be bothered to read all that, but I can say that Darwinism will prevail!
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