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Old 08-18-2009, 01:21 PM   #1
Lolly PopMuzik
 
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Scientists: Zombie attack could decimate the world if not swiftly dealt with

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Science ponders 'zombie attack'
By Pallab Ghosh
Science correspondent, BBC News

If zombies actually existed, an attack by them would lead to the collapse of civilisation unless dealt with quickly and aggressively.

That is the conclusion of a mathematical exercise carried out by researchers in Canada.

They say only frequent counter-attacks with increasing force would eradicate the fictional creatures.

The scientific paper is published in a book - Infectious Diseases Modelling Research Progress.

In books, films, video games and folklore, zombies are undead creatures, able to turn the living into other zombies with a bite.


But there is a serious side to the work.

In some respects, a zombie "plague" resembles a lethal, rapidly spreading infection. The researchers say the exercise could help scientists model the spread of unfamiliar diseases through human populations.

In their study, the researchers from the University of Ottawa and Carleton University (also in Ottawa) posed a question: If there was to be a battle between zombies and the living, who would win?

Professor Robert Smith? (the question mark is part of his surname and not a typographical mistake) and colleagues wrote: "We model a zombie attack using biological assumptions based on popular zombie movies.

"We introduce a basic model for zombie infection and illustrate the outcome with numerical solutions."

To give the living a fighting chance, the researchers chose "classic" slow-moving zombies as our opponents rather than the nimble, intelligent creatures portrayed in some recent films.

"While we are trying to be as broad as possible in modelling zombies - especially as there are many variables - we have decided not to consider these individuals," the researchers said.


Back for good?

Even so, their analysis revealed that a strategy of capturing or curing the zombies would only put off the inevitable.

In their scientific paper, the authors conclude that humanity's only hope is to "hit them [the undead] hard and hit them often".

They added: "It's imperative that zombies are dealt with quickly or else... we are all in a great deal of trouble."

According to the researchers, the key difference between the zombies and the spread of real infections is that "zombies can come back to life".

Professor Neil Ferguson, who is one of the UK government's chief advisers on controlling the spread of swine flu, said the study did have parallels with some infectious diseases.

"None of them actually cause large-scale death or disease, but certainly there are some fungal infections which are difficult to eradicate," said Professor Ferguson, from Imperial College London.

"There are some viral infections - simple diseases like chicken pox have survived in very small communities. If you get it when you are very young, the virus stays with you and can re-occur as shingles, triggering a new chicken pox epidemic."

Professor Smith? told BBC News: "When you try to model an unfamiliar disease, you try to find out what's happening, try to approximate it. You then refine it, go back and try again."

"We refined the model again and again to say... here's how you would tackle an unfamiliar disease."

Professor Ferguson went on to joke: "The paper considers something that many of us have worried about - particularly in our younger days - of what would be a feasible way of tackling an outbreak of a rapidly spreading zombie infection.

"My understanding of zombie biology is that if you manage to decapitate a zombie then it's dead forever. So perhaps they are being a little over-pessimistic when they conclude that zombies might take over a city in three or four days."
...Whoo. I just wonder if they thought of the possibility of a chemical cause (IE: Like 245 Trioxin). Regardless, this just gives me the heebiest of jeebies.
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Old 08-18-2009, 01:25 PM   #2
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World War Z was correct! Our demise is nigh!
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Old 08-18-2009, 02:07 PM   #3
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Old 08-18-2009, 02:10 PM   #4
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We have to start storing supplies into our underground bunkers!
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Old 08-18-2009, 02:12 PM   #5
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No they Foncking won't!
I'mma sharpen my spade.












Also, is there no end to Robert Smith's talent?

Edit: Whiskerton, did you learn nothing from what happened to Sweden?!
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Old 08-18-2009, 02:14 PM   #6
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Screw sweden, remember Paris....
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Old 08-18-2009, 02:20 PM   #7
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But Sweden's bunkers!
Yeah, Paris' underground troubles were pretty brutal.
Personally, I think we need a submarine.
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Old 08-18-2009, 02:25 PM   #8
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I'd feel more comfortable in a fortified blimp. But a nuclear sub would be kind of awesome.
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Old 08-18-2009, 02:33 PM   #9
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A blimp would need refueling too often.
Those Chinese guys held off the Zack for years in a nuclear sub.
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Old 08-18-2009, 07:15 PM   #10
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If Pandemic II is any indication, Madagascar is the safest place. Let us flee in our submarine.
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Old 08-18-2009, 07:42 PM   #11
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There are actual groups of scientists getting paid for this? I'm obviously interested in the wrong line of work, I'm going to get to work on forming a research group on where on earth vampires might be hiding.
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Old 08-18-2009, 08:03 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saya View Post
If Pandemic II is any indication, Madagascar is the safest place. Let us flee in our submarine.
But zombies don't need to breath so they can get there without any planes or boats, no piece of land is safe, other than maybe the poles as zombies would freeze. I would imagine that an aircraft carrier would be rather safe, there would be plenty of space (unlike those little subs), after all an aircraft carrier is practically a floating, fortified city and if you pick up people there are places where they could be quarantined until you can be sure that they are not infected.
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Old 08-19-2009, 09:38 AM   #13
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Quote:
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But zombies don't need to breath so they can get there without any planes or boats, no piece of land is safe, other than maybe the poles as zombies would freeze. I would imagine that an aircraft carrier would be rather safe, there would be plenty of space (unlike those little subs), after all an aircraft carrier is practically a floating, fortified city and if you pick up people there are places where they could be quarantined until you can be sure that they are not infected.
Oh dear! My sources inform me that they have the ability to walk underwater!
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Old 08-19-2009, 10:15 AM   #14
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Yeah but they get bloated and sort of swarm about.
PRESSURE SUITS YOU FOOLS!
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Old 08-19-2009, 09:37 PM   #15
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woah! Trippy. You know there's actual people who prepare themselves for an actual zombie attack!
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Old 08-20-2009, 12:07 AM   #16
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5 Scientific Reasons A Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen.
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Old 08-20-2009, 12:08 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Solumina View Post
But zombies don't need to breath so they can get there without any planes or boats, no piece of land is safe, other than maybe the poles as zombies would freeze. I would imagine that an aircraft carrier would be rather safe, there would be plenty of space (unlike those little subs), after all an aircraft carrier is practically a floating, fortified city and if you pick up people there are places where they could be quarantined until you can be sure that they are not infected.
They freeze, but when summer comes along they thaw and they're a threat once again.
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Old 08-20-2009, 03:43 AM   #18
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Quote:
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A blimp would need refueling too often.
How so? Fill it up with helium, then tether it to the vampire state building. Send scouts down every so often for food. Shoot zack from the comfort of your own balcony.
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Old 08-20-2009, 05:45 AM   #19
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I know it's just a joke, but there are fools who would take this seriously.
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Old 08-20-2009, 06:05 AM   #20
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You know, I would actually have to say that a rage virus like in 28 Days Later is the most likely form of zombie attack we could probably see.

I don't think it's beyond evolution or even a lab to concoct a biological weapon that induces madness and is very contagious.
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Old 08-20-2009, 07:32 AM   #21
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Yeah, rabies.
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Old 08-20-2009, 07:59 AM   #22
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They're coming to get you, Barbara!
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Old 08-20-2009, 08:07 AM   #23
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Wait, but...you guys realize it wouldn't be like that, though, right?

Like, even if there were a disease that made you act nuts and was contagious, it would still be nothing like a zombie outbreak?
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Old 08-20-2009, 08:10 AM   #24
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Fuck it, the only place that's safe is in orbit.

I call dibs on the ISS.
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Old 08-20-2009, 08:22 AM   #25
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I don't care if there's ever gonna be something like this or not. I just want green light be illegally and heavily armed, have a zeppelin ( or nuclear sub ) and randomly kill civilians.
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