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Old 12-16-2006, 10:32 AM   #1
Draconysius
 
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My Father -the Devil Incarnate

Okay, this morning, my dad (who's the devil himself and divorced from my mum) called and started cursing me out. You see, every time I come to visit him at his mother's house, he has to insult my appearance in some way and constantly demean me. That's why I didn't show up at his mother's house for Thanksgiving dinner.

His mother had called me recently to invite me over to X-mas dinner. While we were talking though, she asked why I didn't come to Thanksgiving dinner. I didn't want to lie and make her think I didn't care for my family, so I just decided to tell her the truth: my father's behavior towards me is why I didn't come.

So, the asshole (good ol' dad) calls me this morning and bitches to me about telling his mum. (Awww, poor guy! His mummy got onto him, waaaah!) Anyway, he preaches to me telling me that he has a right to insult me because he's my father, and I don't have the right to insult him. He's all preachy and bitchy and all of a sudden, I just interrupt him and say, "Hey... FUCK you. If you can't treat me with decent human respect, I'm not coming". So, I hung up.

I don't regret standing up for myself. I took an entire CHILDHOOD of verbal and physical abuse and I'll be damned if I'm going to take that shit anymore. I probably will still attend the X-mas dinner however; for the family, and not this fatherly devil.

God, at the same time, I'm pissed at my father, worried about the family, and immensely proud of myself.
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Old 12-16-2006, 10:38 AM   #2
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Insults make him bad? My father threw me threw the banister in my house, choked me until I passed out, and belted me in the face and all sorts of other insanity.

Your dad is a pussy. My dad was a kick ass dude. Literally.
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Old 12-16-2006, 11:38 AM   #3
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I have a feeling the same thing is going to happen to me. Though I still am in my childhood years (I would like to think so) and I still have a tad bit of patience left. Howevere my mother as well can and is very hurtful. Sometimes she overestimates my confidence.
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Old 12-16-2006, 11:39 AM   #4
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Oh and I felt proud of you just from reading your response.
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Old 12-16-2006, 12:06 PM   #5
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Look at the bright side, Draconysius. You have to stand your father every now and then, but your mother is awesome.
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Old 12-16-2006, 12:33 PM   #6
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At least you have a dad. D:

But seriously...What do YOU think you should do about him if he keeps this up?
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Old 12-16-2006, 12:55 PM   #7
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My mother did some pretty nasty things to me in as well. But for a while we just didn't talk, and then I let her have it. Then we didn't talk for a while. I let things set in her head. I mean things still aren't totally well, but maybe they will improve. But I doubt this will happen with your dad. I guess you should just not talk to him for a while and just let him ease away.
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Old 12-16-2006, 01:56 PM   #8
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I congratulate you for standing up to your father, you shouldn't let him treat you mean.

Though I think everyone has troubles with their family. It's natural. I live with both & I do love them, but I could never say that I'm extremely close to them. Overall I find it hard to express things to them, but then again, that's another matter.
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Old 12-16-2006, 04:33 PM   #9
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i hate my father, but my mom and stepdad are awesome
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Old 12-16-2006, 04:35 PM   #10
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I don't have a father so to speak
He is alive but not to us.
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Old 12-16-2006, 04:57 PM   #11
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*sigh* It seems like everyone's parents are abusive. This is why people shouldn't have kids so often.
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Old 12-16-2006, 05:00 PM   #12
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This makes me grateful that my family is strong and loving. You don’t need to take that sort of shit from your father. He does not have the right to insult you, no father does. I am happy to hear you stood up to him.
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Old 12-16-2006, 06:44 PM   #13
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This is when I read things like that that I fully appreciate how lucky I am when it comes to family.
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Old 12-17-2006, 08:10 AM   #14
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I have a loving father and a very nice step mother. I also have a brother that is totally kick ass. He and I get along really well. I also have a step sister and a step brother from this marriage that brought me two nieces. I am grateful for this side of the family. We all love each other greatly.
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Old 12-17-2006, 09:50 AM   #15
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Drac, you have my sympathy and congratulations for having the courage to do what you did. My ex- stepfather was also an abusive asshole who ruined my childhood with his temper and his bad habit of trying to break my spirits every time I entered a room where he had managed to get before me with his snide comments and his curses and shouting for nothing much at all. I remember it came to a point where I locked him out of our apartment so that he had to go outside through the deep snow without his shoes (those he'd left inside as he went to get something from the cellar) to his daughter so that he could borrow a telephone and call my mother... that was the prelude to their divorce, as a side note. Now I try not to keep in touch, and when we meet or I'm forced to be in his company I tend to play the mysterious person with the "I don't need you, you know"- attitude. Just do what you feel you must.
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Old 12-18-2006, 03:14 PM   #16
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Thanks, Minyaliel. I actually have to meet him for X-mas dinner this coming Saturday. With all the extended-family there, though, there's nothing he can really do to me.
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Old 12-18-2006, 03:24 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crying_Crimson_Tears
My mother did some pretty nasty things to me in as well. But for a while we just didn't talk, and then I let her have it. Then we didn't talk for a while. I let things set in her head. I mean things still aren't totally well, but maybe they will improve. But I doubt this will happen with your dad. I guess you should just not talk to him for a while and just let him ease away.
My mom and I are finally ok again. Not only are we ok, but we meet for lunch every once in a while where we discuss superficial details of our lives and she manages to imply that all of my choices are poor ones. We're practically best friends.

No, really, I'm ok with our relationship, finally. She used to make disparaging and abusive comments toward me, and we went through a phase where she'd hit me because she said that I didn't seem to learn just based on words. We've been through many phases, actually, including the phase where I wanted to wear a spaghetti-strap tank top and she decided that meant I was a whore and deserved to have all of my possessions locked up in two metal cabinets. Then there was the phase where I didn't want to clean my room, so every once in a while my stuff would go missing, and I'd have to search the house until I found it. Then, when I decided to clean it, she sat on my bed and watched me to make sure I hadn't stolen any of her stuff. The worst times were when she would decide that she was "all better" and didn't need her meds anymore. Thankfully those didn't last very long, my dad would always catch on eventually.

Now I'm moved out, and making choices she doesn't like and living with that. I think she respects me more for it, although she'd never admit it. She realizes that her comments about where I sleep at night don't bother me, and so, although she has to cope with losing her control over me, I think we're getting better.
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Old 12-18-2006, 08:19 PM   #18
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Time and distance are some of the best ways to mend relationships. Especially when you are younger and making headway towards independence. They fight it, you fight them. But in the end, parents are still people. Flaws and all. Kids are kind of like people, they do little human things with their hands.

In the end, it will work out, one way or another. But don't force anything, know that going too hard against the grain breaks the wood.
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Old 12-19-2006, 03:08 PM   #19
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My mom are okay I guess. I mean now she just says "It's okay for you to smoke pot, and drink beer and have sex here at the house. Just make sure you won't get caught...." She's different. I mean sure any kid would love that in a parent, but I want one who cares and who doesn't want me to do things like that.
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Old 12-19-2006, 03:56 PM   #20
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That last sentence almost hurts me to read, Crimson. Hit a little too close to home- i didn't need a friend, I needed a Mom. She came around when i left home, though, and became my mom again, just in time for us to become friends. Guilt does strange things to people.
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Old 12-19-2006, 07:35 PM   #21
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That reminds me of my own father.
Out of everything I have accomplished in life, he only takes a glance at my outer appearance with a sentiment of failure.
He himself has said to my face that he will always consider me a rebel.
We argued for a month because he wouldn't pay for my college if I went to study Philosophy (which is irrelevant now that I got full tuition; another of my accomplishments he doesn't deem as very important)
When I get mad at him and remind him that I am the shoulder my friends always look for, that I don't drink, smoke, take drugs, or run out of the hous at night, he says: "Why not? That's what you should be doing at your age."
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Old 12-20-2006, 06:39 AM   #22
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As I've said, I have a difficult relationship with both my parents on the grounds that I don't feel close to either of them. Mainly with my mother. I have quite a bad relationship with my her, as we are like chalk & cheese. Very different. I don't feel as if I can tell her anything. But when I do she will not listen, but instead be persistant on her views. After many hours of arguing I have to give up & accept she doesn't want to know what I have to say. In return she believes I have no respect for her, as I treat her in a very negative manner. There is a huge rift between us. I'm not as bad as my older sister when it comes to my mother though.

I think I have only been able to have a proper converstaion with my mum once & that was when I was having a panic attack.
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Old 12-20-2006, 09:17 AM   #23
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Crimson and Jillian, no offense, but you both have retarded parents -.- Regardless whether they actually advocate those things or not, parents should not say that they do. It is practically a recipe for failure. I don't mean to insult your parents, I am only insulting the way that they handle your lives.

Reading through all these posts makes me grateful. Sure, my parents would rather me be the little princess society wants, but they don't push it on me. They make remarks about how I choose to dress and how I look in general (even though my style is very lax because I don't want to be judged so much on appearance), but my parents don't insult me because of it. After four years my family has come to accept that I am sticking to what I like. They are proud of me for my accomplishments, and they want the best for me in life. I never would have thought to give my parents so much credit had it not been for this thread. . .
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Old 12-22-2006, 02:21 AM   #24
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I wish I had a gentle medium between friend and parent.

I hate my mother, because I can't even wear a black pair of pants without getting criticized, much less appear in front of her with fingernail polish, eye make-up and -gasp- a shirt fitted for women.

So, I do my best at college, thank god. But acceptance never came easy for my mom. I'm just a massive disappointment. Long hair, black clothing, wears make-up, crossdresses (just for fun, even), majoring in theatre and philosophy...

I am a failure, apparently.
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Old 12-22-2006, 08:36 AM   #25
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My mom I guess never really cared what I did. I mean she helped me dye my hair black. She was always trying to be a friend, not a mother. She told me when I was 11 I could have sex at 14, and she would help me get protection. Then last night she left my boyfriend and I alone at her house. I want a responsible mom, someone who wants to act like a mom. I mean I know I shouldn't complain, but it's hard for me to see my friends with actual mothers, and then I have my mom.
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