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Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books.

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Old 12-08-2010, 12:16 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Despanan View Post
wait..so jack is literally a zombie? or is he just in such bad shape from the drugs that he's indistinguishable from a zombie?
That'd be the latter. As for why it took so long for him to reveal himself, I guess it's either because he was passed out at the front of the stage throughout the previous scene and woke up just before Saya went Full Metal Jacket on his ass, or because I was too incompetent to think that one thoruhg before posting.

BTW, just received the following infraction:

Dear Apathy's_Child,

You have received a warning at Gothic.net Community.

Reason:
-------
Vastly Inappropriate Language

i liek the storry but you nede to be careful w/ ur language.

u can't say gay on GNET andf u can't talk about mo,s.

Dude, can you try and put a lid on yor Oedipal issues with your mom? You're getting me in trouble here.
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Old 12-08-2010, 01:07 PM   #27
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lolololol. Only ssj.... :3
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Old 12-08-2010, 01:32 PM   #28
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Oh, I AM pretty sure I saw Catch’s head rolling around, though.

THEY PAUSE SOBERLY FOR A MOMENT, THEN SHRUG AS ONE AND CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION AS THOUGH NOTHING HAPPENED.
BWUHAHAHA! Priceless!
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Old 12-08-2010, 02:46 PM   #29
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Yes the infraction i received a while back was from ssj as well... lol. But, story still seems pretty shweet.
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Old 12-08-2010, 03:29 PM   #30
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This is just getting better and better. Mainly because I'm in it now but I think we all saw that one coming already.
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Old 12-08-2010, 04:42 PM   #31
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Y r ther so manny mods on this sire?
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Old 12-08-2010, 04:54 PM   #32
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AC - I fly high dude. Higher than any zombies. I'm bullet-proof, deadly and filled with poison.
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Old 12-09-2010, 02:01 AM   #33
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This is freakin' sweet. I had no idea to expect this after glancing back at Gnet. I wonder what other old timers you will drag up? Jcc? Ophelia? Helpmann? Man in room five? Or is this just old timers that still post regularly?
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Old 12-09-2010, 10:36 AM   #34
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AC - I fly high dude. Higher than any zombies. I'm bullet-proof, deadly and filled with poison.
Eh, you'll have to take it up with Kontan. HE said it, not me.

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This is freakin' sweet. I had no idea to expect this after glancing back at Gnet. I wonder what other old timers you will drag up? Jcc? Ophelia? Helpmann? Man in room five? Or is this just old timers that still post regularly?
Just the current regular posters. This isn't a popularity contest, in the sense that it's not about picking my buddies and lionizing them - that shit's boring. This is just a parodic look at the people who've stuck around for a good long time, to the point where I've realized that I actually know a fair bit abut them, even if we've rarely spoken directly. I'm a sentimrntal enough drunk to think there's something kinda nice about the fact that a few core members have spent literally years, flirting, sparring, swapping kickass links, and not infrequently throwing the fuck down. Even if they don't even like each other, they probably know more about one another than they do half their co-workers. I'd have liked to have written in parts for people like Gothicus, JCC & Ophie, but it'd be contrary to the spirit in which this was started. So the truants got culled.

Different rules for trolls though, so stay tuned.
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Old 12-10-2010, 02:04 AM   #35
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Sweet. Now my imagination is running amok wondering which trolls shall be dealt to. Bexxle/Catch has been mentioned, so who else could be left?

And yeah, I dig the same feeling. There are definitely some things that I believe people on here know about each other despite differences and dislikings.
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Old 12-10-2010, 06:24 AM   #36
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A_C is a god!
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Old 12-10-2010, 07:28 AM   #37
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This would make for an interesting movie...
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Old 12-10-2010, 08:35 AM   #38
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This is freakin' sweet. I had no idea to expect this after glancing back at Gnet. I wonder what other old timers you will drag up? Jcc? Ophelia? Helpmann? Man in room five? Or is this just old timers that still post regularly?
who is halpman?
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Old 12-10-2010, 08:42 AM   #39
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Hey man, I'm around.
I just got bored posting in the dumber threads.

When the wind blows and ruins your nice meadow picnic lunch, or when you are at the beach and you step on a jellyfish, that's me, Gnet, that's me.
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Old 12-10-2010, 08:44 AM   #40
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Haha. Sweet, I'll write you in. I'm actually just about to start the next scene, so that's some good timing right there.
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Old 12-10-2010, 10:17 AM   #41
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SHOT CUTS TO A FEW MORE STREETS OVER. OPHELIA AND VINDICATED ARE SEATED INSIDE THE WINDOW OF A BUILDING ON THE FIRST FLOOR, LEGS DANGLING OVER THE LEDGE. OPHELIA IS WRITING ON A LARGE PAD AND VIN IS SMOKING A BLUNT. VIN LOOKS EXTREMELY STONED AND IS WEARING A DOG COLLAR, THE LEASH OF WHICH IS WRAPPED LOOSELY AROUND OPHIE’S WRIST.

Ophie: “If I had a dick, I would plow you like a field / Leaving you a weeping pile of freshly-turned soil...” [draws a line underneath the line sharply with a satisfied smile] Oh hell. Yeah.

Vin: [turning bleary, bloodshot eyes towards her] Did you finish it?

Ophie: Sure did, babycakes.

Vin: Wanna read it to me?

Ophie: [rolling eyes] ... I just did.

Vin: Oh. [blinks a few times as she struggles to remember, before settling into a dopey smile] That was AWESOME.

Ophie: I know.

Vin: Totally deep. Your words... my whale song... [blinks and trails off, clearly high as a kite]

Ophie: [in a tone of casual contempt] Uh-huh. How ‘bout shutting the hell up there, honey-doll? I gotta edit. [Vin smiles vacantly and nods as Ophie starts frowning and scratching on the pad. Apathy, Saya, Sternn, Jack, Kontan & Despanan enter, moving quietly along the wall in single file. Ophie sees them surprise, and yells down at them] Guys! Up here!

APATHY COCKS GUN REFLEXIVELY, HIS SWIFT, SURE, MANLY REACTION AGAIN CALLING TO MIND CLINT EASTWOOD IN HIS CAREER-DEFINING ROLE AS THE MAN WITH NO NAME. THE OTHERS ALMOST PISS THEIR PANTS LIKE LITTLE BITCHES. THEY FINALLY SEE OPHIE AND VIN.

Apathy: [jubilantly] Ophie? You’re alive too! And so is... [face falls as he sees her companion] Oh. Hey, Vin.

Ophie: So you guys got away too, huh?

Apathy: Yeah. We were just scoping for survivors. [nods up at the window] I see you guys holed up.

Ophie: Yeah – after we ran, we came up here and barricaded ourselves in. We’ve been... keeping ourselves entertained. [winks at the guys on the ground meaningfully as Vin blinks her bloodshot eyes] How about you guys?

Apathy: We all sort of found each other. Looks like everyone scattered when they took headquarters, so we’ve just been moving around, scoping for survivors.

Ophie: Sweet. I’m just writing a sex poem for Vin. My beautiful Vin. Look how hot she is. [gestures towards her] The eyes of an anime character, the lips of a porn star, fucking ghetto booty to make you weep -

VIN: Yeah!! I gotta ghetto booty... [frowns suddenly in fuzzy confusion] Wait – did you just call me BLACK?

Ophie: [without changing tone or looking at her] You shut your whore mouth, hood-rat.

Vin: [with muddled indignation] NOT cool, Ophie! You can’t just go around accusing innocent people of being black! What if an actual black person heard you? They might try and, like, TALK to me or somethin’...

Ophie: [slapping her hard around the head impatiently] Goddamnit, would you shut your fuckin’ hole? I don’t keep you around to hear your dumbass thoughts on life – now just open another button on your blouse and clam the fuck up! [turns back to the others as Vin unbuttons her shirt to expose even more cleavage] Where the hell did you guys go? Well, except you, Apathy. I saw you go charging off, heroically leading the undead away from the rest of us. Luckily there were so few of them left after your panty-moistening act of heroism, Vin and I managed to fight our way out of there. Well. [rolls eyes] I managed to fight our way out of there. She just stood there gaping, going, “Duuuuude...” in this moronic stoner voice. Didn’t even drop her joint.

Apathy: What about the others? Honeythorn, Renatus, Sir Canvas Corpsey? Do you know what happened to anybody else?

Ophie: Last thing I saw was HumanePain trying to convince the zombies to be nice, and saying this apocalypse’d be a lot more pleasant for everyone if we could just all get along. They sort of piled on top of him, but I don’t know what happened to him after that. It was kind of crazy - panic, and screaming, and blood spraying everywhere. And Vin was so high, she would’ve been chickenfeed if I’d just let go of her arm for a second.

Despanan: You weren’t even tempted? [shakes head, impressed] Wow, Underwear. That’s some magnanimous shit, right there. Maybe you ARE a nice person after all.

Ophie: Nah, I’m still an irredeemable bitch. I just figured, sexual encounters are gonna be pretty thin on the ground in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. And you know I’ve been toying with hitting that for a while. [stares down Vin’s shirt appreciatively]

Despanan: So basically, you delivered Vin from death... into sex slavery.

Ophie: [rolling eyes] Oh, what, like she had SO many other prospects in life?

Despanan: ... Fair enough, you gotta point there. Although I’m wondering what exactly differentiates you from the undead. You both want to eat Vin, and you’re both prepared to use predatory means. [to Kontan] I think Apathy should shoot HER in the face.

Kontan: Yeah!! Oh man, that would be so awesome.
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Old 12-10-2010, 10:20 AM   #42
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Apathy: [impatiently] I’m not shooting her in the face.

DESP & KONTAN IN UNISON: Awwww!

Despanan: You shot the other zombies in the face!

Apathy: [incredulously] Dude, they were fucking undead!

Kontan: So? Ophie’s colder’n any corpse I ever saw!

Despanan: Yeah!! Good one, K! [they pause for a solemn bro-pound, then snap their attention back to Apathy expectantly]

Apathy: Quit fucking around, you two. We don’t have time for this.

Kontan: Who’s fucking around? Let’s take a vote. Hey, Sternn! Sternn! See that chick up there? [Sternn follows K’s pointing finger blearily] She thinks blowing shit up when you don’t get your way makes you a terrorist! [Sternn snaps to attention] Whatcha think we ought to do with her?

Sternn: [roaring] RIP HER FECKIN’ LUNGS OUT AND SHOVE ‘EM UP HER ARSE!! [starts shadow-boxing the wall, muttering about Uncle Toms]

Despanan: Attaboy! And Jack, come on. One more vote and we get to watch Ophie’s face smash like an egg. Whaddaya say, guy?

Jack: [shaking and sweating – starts at the sound of his name and swipes at something invisible in the air] Wait, what? Huh?

Apathy: Leave him alone, Desp. He’s working through some delirium tremens.

Jack: [edging away from Apathy warily] Dude... when did you turn into a giant beetle?

Despanan: ‘Kay, so Jack’s mentally incompetent, which means he doesn’t get a vote. Which MEANS - we gotta majority! WOOOOOO!!

Jack: [still addressing Apathy in a dazed murmur] I mean, I’m not judging... it’s not like I don’t want to hang out with you any more... I just...

Saya: [indignantly] What, so I don’t get a vote?

Apathy: There’s no VOTE! No one is getting shot in the face!

Saya: It’s because I’m a girl, isn’t it?!

Kontan: Nah, it’s because you’re a liberal hippie feminazi who spends her spare time hugging bottom-feeders and giving hand-jobs to freegans.

Saya: [outraged] I’M the Nazi?! You want to exterminate Ophie because she ANNOYS you, you fascist cockfluff!

Kontan: Yeah, well, democracy’s a bitch. [pause – adds afterthought] And so is YOUR MOM.

Apathy: [losing patience with all of them] This is not a democracy! I’m the motherfucking HERO here, and I’m telling you I am not shooting anyone in the face!

Despanan: So? How come YOU get to decide?

Apathy: Uhh, well, I’m the one with the GUN, for starters.

Despanan: Oh, what, so just because you got a shotgun you think you’re better than us? [pause] How come you’re the only one who has a gun, anyway?

Apathy: Because I’m awesome.

Despanan: Really? That’s IT? [shakes head] Man, that is the weakest plot-hole filler I ever heard.

Apathy: You got a point there, actually. However, since this is pretty much plotless mind-vomit written on the hoof, you’re stuck with whatever weapons you can find from scavenging until YOU become awesome. Now shut up for a minute, all of you. [turns back to Ophie who’s been swinging her legs and continuing to scribble, completely nonplussed, while this has been going on]So you don’t know ANYTHING about any of the others? [sighs as she shakes her head] Shit. I think we’re gonna have to go back to headquarters and check the building for survivors.

Ophie: Speak for yourself. I ain’t going back there.

Apathy: But some of them might still be trapped inside!

Ophie: ... Dude. Irredeemable bitch?

Apathy: Oh, yeah. [sighs, then shrugs] Okay. Guess we’d better get going.

Ophie: [astonished at his (admittedly impressive] dauntlessness] You’re really going back in there?

Apathy: I have to. Hero, remember? [stands tall under the weight of a hefty burden, staring dramatically into the distance at an angle that shows off his impressively chiselled jaw to its best advantage] No one else is awesome enough to pull it off. It has to be me.

Kontan: [raising hand] Does this mean WE can stay behind?

Apathy: No you can’t. You’re the comic relief. Now haul ass.

Ophie: One more thing. Vin and I escaped from the roof. And there was something up there.

Saya: You mean BESIDES the zombies?

Ophie: Yeah. I don’t know what it was. It looked... I don’t know. Kind of human, only stooped... long hair... like some sort of wild-man.

Kontan: [whispering fearfully to Desp] Oh shit! It’s KammadinniBOOYAH!

Apathy: [frowning] Human?

Ophie: I don’t know. It was human-sized, and it didn’t move like the undead, but there was just something... OFF about it.

Apathy: How big was it?

Ophie: Not that big. Kinda skinny, as a matter of fact. But still pretty freaky. It passed by right near us while we were hiding. There were these weird noises, like it was, I dunno, mumbling to itself. Nothing I could make out. [shrugs] Just a head’s up – you might wanna be careful. I think there’s something more than zombies in headquarters.

Desp: [whispering to K] See? Relax. KammadinniBOOYAH is over eight feet tall, and DEFINITELY does not qualify as skinny. We just need to chill, and keep our heads.

Apathy: Okay. Thanks for the tip, Oph.

Ophie: [no problem] No problem. It’s no secret that I find you thigh-meltingly attractive.

Apathy: [sighing indulgently as Saya hisses at Ophie like a cat] Yeah, yeah... [he moves back against the wall and exits in the same way they entered, leading the rag-tag group back into formation masterfully like a true general. Ophie resumes scribbling.]

Vin: [extinguishing the butt and realizing there’s now nothing to take her mind off the munchies] I’m HUNGRY.

Ophie: [unwraps the leash from her wrist and tosses it at Vin without looking up] There’s some cans inside. Go eat something. That ghetto booty gets skinny on me, I’m throwing it to the undead.

Vin: Man, I could eat some fried chicken.

Ophie: Sorry, kid. Beans or frankfurters.

Vin: [moodily] SUCKS. [brightening] Hey, you should write something about black people, and how they ate up all the fried chicken in the world! [again without looking up, Ophie elbows her in the face, knocking her backwards. She disappears from shot with a muffled THUMP. FADE TO BLACK.]
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Old 12-10-2010, 10:32 AM   #43
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If I'm not in it then it ain't worth fuck T, you should know that.
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Old 12-10-2010, 10:39 AM   #44
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If I'm not in it then it ain't worth fuck T, you should know that.

It's okay Dickie... you don't have to explain. I hear the words you're really saying: "DO ME DO ME DO ME!!!!"

P.S. Goddamnit, would you colon-munchers quit forcing me to rearrange the INGENIOUS storyline I've plotted? I already know how this shit pans out, writing your fairweather asses in is a major interruption of my process.

That's it. If Gothicus rocks up I'm punching him in the dick.
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Old 12-10-2010, 10:52 AM   #45
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Bahahahaha!
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Old 12-10-2010, 11:01 AM   #46
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It's okay Dickie... you don't have to explain. I hear the words you're really saying: "DO ME DO ME DO ME!!!!"

P.S. Goddamnit, would you colon-munchers quit forcing me to rearrange the INGENIOUS storyline I've plotted? I already know how this shit pans out, writing your fairweather asses in is a major interruption of my process.

That's it. If Gothicus rocks up I'm punching him in the dick.
I'm kidding around, little man. I don't hang around here enough to deserve a cameo, I just wanted to lob shit at you before I disappear into the mist again.
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Old 12-10-2010, 11:18 AM   #47
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I'm kidding around, little man. I don't hang around here enough to deserve a cameo, I just wanted to lob shit at you before I disappear into the mist again.
I'd like to present you with: the passive-aggressive backpedal of the year award! Congratulations. [confetti streams gloriously]

Whatever, at least I know now that you still think of me fondly from time to time. This knowledge will be a marginal source of comfort to me as I soak my pillow with tears through the long lonely nights.

The fuck've you been anyway?
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Old 12-10-2010, 11:19 AM   #48
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You know, I think the fact that I'm choosing to be high during all this, is something I would really do. You're good at this.
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Old 12-10-2010, 11:24 AM   #49
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I'd like to present you with: the passive-aggressive backpedal of the year award! Congratulations. [confetti streams gloriously]

Whatever, at least I know now that you still think of me fondly from time to time. This knowledge will be a marginal source of comfort to me as I soak my pillow with tears through the long lonely nights.

The fuck've you been anyway?
My girlfriend dumped me so I've been nursing my newfound alcoholism.
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Old 12-10-2010, 11:39 AM   #50
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EPIC LOLZ. fer srs.
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