Gothic.net News Horror Gothic Lifestyle Fiction Movies Books and Literature Dark TV VIP Horror Professionals Professional Writing Tips Links Gothic Forum




Go Back   Gothic.net Community > Boards > Literature

Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 12-19-2010, 08:58 PM   #101
Angelic Dissonance2
 
Angelic Dissonance2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lexington, KY
Posts: 237
I <3 Goku. He's cool.
Angelic Dissonance2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2010, 06:51 AM   #102
Apathy's_Child
 
Apathy's_Child's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,732
Shit, I forgot about this. Here's a short one real quick.

SHOT OF THE LARGE ARCHED DOOR AT THE MAIN ENTRANCE OF HEADQUARTERS. THE DOOR SWINGS OPEN CREAKILY TO REVEAL THE SURVIVORS, LED BY APATHY, 'CAUSE LET'S FACE IT, THE DAY I'D LET ANY OF YOU DICKWADS LEAD ME INTO BATTLE IS THE DAY I'M TOO JADED AND DOWNBEAT TO EVEN GET A WAVE OF GRATITUDE AT MY GOOD LUCK WHEN I LOOK DOWN IN THE SHOWER.

AS THE GROUP ENTER STEALTHILY, THE SHOT MOVES OUT TO REVEAL THE SAME SEA OF LIMBS, BLOODSTAINED WALLS AND GENERAL CARNAGE SEEN IN THE STREETS. THEY MOVE QUICKLY AND QUIETLY THROUGH THE WAITING AREA AND THROUGH A SMALL, DINGHY STAIRWELL, INTO THE MAIN OFFICE: A LARGE OPEN SPACE WITH SMALL CLUSTERS OF DESKS DOTTED AROUND. A COUPLE STILL HAVE COMPUTERS ON THEM. APATHY PAUSES BESIDE ONE OF THE MONITORS, WHICH IS SMASHED; CLOSE-UP OF HIS STUNNING EYES WHICH FADES INTO FLASHBACK:

YELLS, SCREAMS AND THE BREAKING OF SHIT CAN BE HEARD AS ZOMBIES STORM HEADQUARTERS. APATHY IS FIGHTING ONE, TOTALLY DOMINATING NATURALLY, AS OTHER INDISTINCT AND LESS AWESOME HUMAN FIGURES ARE TAKEN DOWN AROUND HIM. HE HAS NO WEAPON AND IS WRECKING THE ZOMBIE'S SHIT WITH HIS BARE HANDS. REALIZING HE IS TOO KICKASS TO BE EATEN, THE ZOMBIE TURNS AWAY, GROWLING, AND LEAPS ON SIR CANVAS CORPSEY -ONE OF THE INDISTINCT BACKGROUND FIGURES WHO IS NOW IN THE FOREGROUND BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENS TO HIM HAS BECOME RELEVANT TO APATHY'S WAY MORE INTERESTING STORY. SCC LETS OUT A CRY OF PAIN - APATHY WRENCHES THE ZOMBIE OFF SCC AND PUTS HIS FIST THROUGH ITS FUCKING HEAD, DESTROYING THE BRAIN. HE TURNS BACK TO SCC AS THE UNDEAD BITCH HE'S JUST WASTED CRUMPLES TO THE GROUND. THE SHOT REVEALS THAT SCC HAS PERCHED SHAKILY ON THE EDGE OF THE DESK, INSPECTING A WOUND ON HIS FOREARM.

SCC: [looking up slowly, holding his arm out so that the wound can be seen] You wanna do it now, or in about thirty seconds?

Apathy: [dropping his fists incredulously as he realizes what's happened, then manning up as he would totally do in a real apocalypse] I'll do it when you turn. Don't worry. You won't even know what's happening by then.

SCC: [dropping his eyes to the wound again with a look of detached curiosity] I think - I'd rather you did it now. [Apathy gives him a painful look]

Apathy: Really? You sure?

SCC: [nodding bravely] Yeah. I don't wanna wind up like these guys, man. [gestures at the one to their left who's currently eating the face of an unseen outstretched figure] LOOK at them. Laaaame. [rolls eyes in disbelief as the zombie, finished, stumbles away to pick up a stray arm which it chows down on]

Apathy: [sighing regretfully] You REALLY making me do this?

SCC: [straightening bravely] Yeah. C'mon. No WAY am I ending my life as a a flesh-eating douchebag. Do it before I become one more thing between you and the door.

Apathy: [stares at him reluctantly, eyes full of emotion. Opens his mouth to speak but is cut off by a cry from SCC as the latter convulses hard, arms clamping around his stomach]

SCC: NOW! [Apathy steps towards him as he cries out again] I'm sorry, man - never - even - got to - lick your - ball-sack... [suddenly lets out a shriek; the next time he looks up, his eyes are all fucked up and discolored like the other zombies'. Apathy puts his fist through his head with lightning speed before he can even get up from the edge of the desk. His fist smashes through the back of SCC's skull to destroy the computer monitor behind him.

End flashback - jolt back to Apathy in the office, staring at the broken monitor. He shakes himself and moves along, leading the group towards the stairwell at the back of the office. He pauses at the entrance and turns back to them]

Apathy: Okay, we're headed for the roof. Don't forget what Ophie said - there's something up there. We gotta be careful. [pauses and stares past them]

Despanan: So? What're we waiting for?

Apathy: [still staring] Yo, Desp. Know how you wanted to break your weapons in before we really hit the shit-storm?

Despanan: Uh-huh?

Apathy: [as two zombies crouched in the shadows, quietly chewing on a dismemebered corpse, rise slowly in the background] I think now might just be the time. [the group turn to see the two zombies rising slowly from their crouched positions in the shadows twenty feet or so away. They see the survivors and begin advancing on them, snarling softly]

Saya: Oh my god - is that -

SHOT OF THE ZOMBIES LEAPING AT THE CAMERA
__________________
All pleasure is relief from tension. - William S. Burroughs

Witches have no wit, said the magician who was weak.
Hula, hula, said the witches. - Norman Mailer
Apathy's_Child is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2010, 07:57 AM   #103
Apathy's_Child
 
Apathy's_Child's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,732
While I'm in the mood:

CUT TO THE TWO ZOMBIES LEAPING TOWARDS THEM. APATHY GHOSTS OUT IN FRONT OF THE GROUP LIKE LIGHTNING AND MEETS THEM EACH WITH AN IRON FIST TO THE FACE, KNOCKING THEM BACKWARDS THROUGH THE AIR UNTIL THEY CRUMPLE IN OPPOSITE CORNERS OF THE OFFICE AREA. THE WHOLE THING LOOKS AWESOME. IN FACT, THAT PART HAPPENS IN SLOW-MO. AFTER SLAMMING DOWN HARD ON THEIR ASSES THE TWO ZOMBIES SCRAMBLE TO THEIR FEET AND ADVANCE, SNARLING, ALL PALLID FLESH AND BLOODY MOUTHS AND DEAD EYES. WE ARE LOOKING AT WHAT REMAINS OF HONEYTHORN AND SOLUMINA. APATHY RAISES THE SHOTGUN AND THE RAG-TAG ASSHOLES BEHIND HIM RAISE THEIR RIDICULOUS WEAPONS, A COMBINATION OF KITCHEN KNIVES AND MEAT CLEAVERS. DESPANAN BRANDISHES A BARBEQUE PRONG.

Despanan: [performing an ungainly but enthusiastic attempt at a Bruce Lee kick and spin] Woooo-TAH, bitchezz!

Kontan: Dude. Did you just twirl?

Despanan: What? [frowns briefly then breaks into a smug smirk] Ohhh... are you perchance alluding to my kick-ass martial arts skills? [raises the bbq prong like a Samurai] Fuckin’ TOLD you I knew karate.

Kontan: [nonplussed stare] Nah, man. I don’t know what you THINK you just did, but that was definitely a twirl.

Apathy: [shoots the advancing Solumina in the face and turns his head to snap at them as Honeythorn leaps on Jack] Shut the fuck up, you two! I can’t aim properly with you bitching in my ear!

Saya: Whoaaaa! Jack’s going in the man-cupboard! [looks around wildly] Sternn! Sternn! There’s a Republican on Jack, Sternn!

Jack: [struggling with Honeythorn, who has him in a headlock and is attempting to tear out his jugular with her teeth] Yeah, man! Right here! You see her – she’s tryin’ to stop me having an abortion!

Saya: Then she’ll steal the baby and raise it to be a little Eichmann, Sterrn!

Jack: You gotta help me, man! [sings] Get up, stand up, stand up for mah rights...

Sternn: [losing his shit as he stares at Honeythorn] BRAAAGGGGGGGGGHHH! [leaps on her, savaging her like a crazed Irish wolfhound]

Kontan: [in the background, to Despanan] Do the twirl again. It was cute. You did it real pretty.

STERNN, HAVING RIPPED HONEYTHORN FROM JACK, THROWS HER ACROSS THE ROOM AND INTO THE WALL. APATHY, BEING AN AWESOME SHOT, WASTES HER WITH THE SHOTGUN MID-AIR BEFORE SHE EVEN FUCKING LANDS. AS HER BROKEN BODY CRUMPLES TO THE FLOOR, THERE IS A MOMENT OF SILENCE, THEN STERNN BREAKS INTO A CELEBRATORY IRISH JIG AS THE OTHERS HEAVE A SIGH OF RELIEF.

Sternn: Great stuff! [yelling over at the corpse] Tell yer man Cheney to put THAT in his pipe and smoke it, ye CUNT! [jigs over to the corpse pumping his fists in the air, spits on it, and gives it a kick. He then drops to his knees on top of it and falls to beating it with his fists as the others speak]

Saya: Shit. [kicking in the wreckage miserably] Honey and Solly.

Jack: [beating Apathy, who’s opened his mouth to answer, to the punch] C’mon, Saya. [squeezing her shoulder] There might be more of them. But there also might be some left alive. We need to find them, then get the fuck out of here.

Apathy: [pleasantly surprised] Well, whaddaya know. You mouth-breathers DO occasionally climb far enough out of that intellectual cesspit you typically inhabit to absorb a little of my wisdom.

Jack: It’s rare, man. Lamentably rare. But underneath our occasional audacity in disagreeing with or questioning you, we’re all honoured to be a part of such a wonderful process when our thinking elevates enough to let us look at things on your level.

Apathy: [putting up a modest hand to stop him] You don’t have to explain, Jack. I KNOW how shit-hot I am.

BEHIND THEM, KONTAN IS STILL TAUNTING DESPANAN, AND THE LATTER IS LOSING HIS TEMPER AND FLAILING AT KONTAN MAKING “NEEEE-YAH!” NOISES.

Kontan: THAT’S it, baby-cakes! Now you’ve just gotta do the cute little twirly thing – [is cut off as Despanan flukes a roundhouse kick that slams into his jaw] OW! [stares at him for a second, rubbing his jaw and glaring, then they flail at each other like 8 yr old girls again]

Kontan: Psychotic BITCH!

Despanan: Insubordinate DICKWAD!

Saya: [stepping over and flicking them both hard in the ear, making them rear back squealing like pigs being slaughtered] Knock it off, you two! If you get us killed I will rip out your colons, put them on the side of my head and prance around going, “Look! I’m an alien!” [mimes, dancing with unhinged glee as they stare at her incredulously]

Kontan: ... Dude. Are you high?

Jack: [perking up] HIGH? You got drugs, Saya?

Saya: [glaring murderously] I mean it. QUIT bitching around. We are in heavy fucking danger here. If you want to play Eddie Hitler and Richie Rich, go and fucking do it somewhere else, because we have got a fucking job to do.

Jack: ‘Cause if you got drugs... well, it’s the apocalypse, man – we gotta help each other out, you know? -

Despanan: [to Kontan] Dude, she’s a slut! She said fuck like five times!

Kontan: Oh man, angry sex!

THEY HIGH-FIVE.

Saya: [to Apathy impatiently] PLEASE can I kill them?

Apathy: Nah. Unfortunately, they’re kind of integral to the plot.

Saya: [watching Kontan and Despanan, who are now pointing at one another singing Eye of the Tiger with shit-eating grins again, all apparently forgiven between them] ... Dude. Seriously. I’d consider a re-write.

Apathy: [shrugs ruefully and addresses the group, who fall silent at his authoritative whisper] Okay. We’re headed upstairs now. We don’t know what we’re going to find up there, but here’s what we do know. We will probably find more zombies. Destroy the brain. We may also find survivors. Do NOT destroy the brain. Remember, LOOK before you swing. And on the roof, keep a sharp look-out for the wild-man-looking thing Ophie and Vin saw. Oph said it didn’t move like the undead, so we may be looking at an unhinged survivor – someone who’s gone a little crazy from all the shit they’ve seen since civilization ended last week. Stay close, keep a tight formation, and watch each other’s backs. Kontan and Desp, any fucking around, I will shoot you. Saya, if you’re closer when it happens, I give you permission to stab them. [Saya examines the blade of her kitchen knife with a satisfied smile as they sulk. Apathy looks around at them all] Let’s go.

HE PUSHES THE SWING DOOR LEADING UP TO THE STAIRS OPEN AND MOVES THROUGH THE DOOR. THE OTHERS FOLLOW IN SILENCE, THEIR MOVEMENTS TENSE. THE DOOR SWINGS SHUT SILENTLY AS THE LAST OF THEM PASSES THROUGH IT, PLUNGING THE OFFICE BACK INTO BLACKNESS.

SHOT CUTS TO THE CORRIDOR, WHICH IS DINGHY AND DIMLY-LIT WITH A FLICKERING BULB. THEY MOVE QUIETLY ACROSS THE SHORT CORRIDOR AND UP THE STAIRS AT THE END. THE STAIRS ARE SLIGHTLY DARKER. JACK AND SAYA, WHO ARE BRINGING UP THE REAR, WALK SIDEWAYS TO KEEP THEIR WEAPONS POINTED BEHIND THE GROUP. AFTER CLIMBING SEVERAL FLIGHTS, THE SMALL METAL DOOR THAT WILL ADMIT THEM TO THE ROOF IS SEEN AHEAD OF THEM. APATHY POINTS SILENTLY AND THEY START TOWARDS IT, WHEN SUDDENLY A MUMBLING SOUND IS FAINTLY HEARD. THE GROUP FREEZE AS ONE, LISTENING FOR THE SOURCE, AND GRADUALLY TURN TO ONE OF THE THREE DOORS IN THE SMALL AIR-LOCK AS THE SOUND GROWS CLOSER. THE DOOR, WHICH IS ALREADY SWINGING ON ITS HINGES, FALLS OPEN FURTHER AS THE SHAPE PUSHING AGAINST IT MOVES INTO THE DOORWAY, WHERE IT STANDS SILHOUETTED, STILL MUMBLING TO ITSELF. APATHY SLOWLY LOWERS THE SHOTGUN HE WAS HOLDING RAISED IN READINESS AND SPEAKS UNCERTAINLY.

Apathy: Jilly?
__________________
All pleasure is relief from tension. - William S. Burroughs

Witches have no wit, said the magician who was weak.
Hula, hula, said the witches. - Norman Mailer
Apathy's_Child is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2010, 02:20 PM   #104
Sir Canvas Corpsey
 
Sir Canvas Corpsey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,424
Whoooo! Dramatic scene for me! Best final words too <3

I fuckin' love ya Apathy
__________________
“Lots of ways to help people. Sometimes heal patients; sometimes execute dangerous people. Either way helps.”
Sir Canvas Corpsey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2010, 02:24 PM   #105
vindicatedxjin
 
vindicatedxjin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: ∞ ∞ //▲▲\\ ∞ ∞
Posts: 4,627
Blog Entries: 1
Hahahah JILLY????
vindicatedxjin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2010, 02:13 AM   #106
Apathy's_Child
 
Apathy's_Child's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,732
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Canvas Corpsey View Post
Whoooo! Dramatic scene for me! Best final words too <3

I fuckin' love ya Apathy
Not the funniest section, given the rush it was written in. However, I was awesome.
__________________
All pleasure is relief from tension. - William S. Burroughs

Witches have no wit, said the magician who was weak.
Hula, hula, said the witches. - Norman Mailer
Apathy's_Child is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2010, 02:40 AM   #107
Fruitbat
 
Fruitbat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Mainland Australia
Posts: 2,557
Blog Entries: 12
AC - good to see you got your writing mojo back.
__________________

"Always be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle." - Plato


**
Hold onto the positive, let go of the negative.
****

If you leave me, can I come too?
Fruitbat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2010, 03:27 AM   #108
Apathy's_Child
 
Apathy's_Child's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,732
JILLIAN IS HUNCHED AND MUTTERING LIKE A MAD HERMIT, HIS HAIR EVEN LONGER THAN USUAL AND MATTED. HE IS UNSHAVEN AND HAS THE LOOK OF A MAN ON THE EDGE, EYES BRIGHT AND FEVERISH AND HIS ENTIRE POSTURE SUSPICIOUSLY DEFENSIVE. HE NARROWS HIS EYES AT THEM FOR A SECOND, THEN BREAKS INTO A SMILE.

Jill: Alive, you are! Oh, so happy to see it, I am – becoming every day more convinced I was the last human!

Jack: Huh?

Apathy: [translating] He’s glad to see us.

Jack: Oh... I get it... that’s cool. Good to see you too, dude. Wow, you’ve been rocking the facial hair, huh?

Jill: [crouching in the corner of the room with his back to the wall, staring up at them with manic eyes] Razors are for the bourgeoisie.

Jack: [shrugging] Sure, man. Whatever. Lookin’ sharp. [looks at him hopefully] Got any drugs?

Saya: Actually, Jilly, that IS a pretty impressive beard considering it’s only been like a week. How fuckin’ fast does your hair grow?!

Jill: As fast as the spreading of a beautiful idea. As fast as the uprising of an angry and abused populace. [raises a fist in conviction] As strong as the tides of social change when the people stand as one and declare that they will bear no more exploitation!

BEAT

Kontan: [examining Jill’s hair] So like, an inch a week?

Jilly: [shrugging] Give or take.

Apathy: Yo, Jilly. Do you know if anyone else made it? Any other survivors rattling around the building?

Jilly: [shaking head] All dead. Everyone in here is dead. They come and whisper to me.

Despanan: ... Oooo-kay... [lets out a low whistle and makes a crazy sign to the others, whispering] Seeing things. Ghosts and shit.

Jilly: [shaking head] Not ghosts. Ghosts are dead. I see the UNdead. We talk about anarchy. Well, I talk about anarchy and they listen. And grunt.

Apathy: [slightly unnerved by the weird shit Jill's talking] What are you still doing up here, Jill? Ophie and Vin saw you the day the zombies got in. Did you get trapped in the building? ‘Cause we came to save everyone. Don’t worry. We’ll get you out.

Jilly: [skittering over to the opposite corner on all fours like a crab with a shrieking, incredulous laugh, then sinking onto his haunches and bristling up at them like an animal] Out? No, no, no! I want to see what happens!

Apathy: [approaching him warily] Dude, seriously, you need to come with us. You’re going to die if you stay here.

Jilly: LEAVE? Leave my headquarters? Please! They won’t harm me. They’re my friends.

Apathy: They’re not our friends anymore, Jilly. They’re something else – something evil. And this is THEIR building now. We need to get moving.

Jilly: [angrily] NO! [skitters back to the other corner as Apathy approaches and tries to pull him to his feet] Not evil! Fight for justice, they do!

Jack: ... Wait, what?

Jilly: They’re agents of anarchy! They’re revolting!

Jack: [shrugging] Hey, man, I ain’t judging here. I’m fucking GREEN for godsakes.

J: No, no, I mean – look, how can you be so stupid? Learn something you could, if for a minute you shut up. Revolting, NOT as in gross, but as in undergoing a revolution. They’ve dissolved the power of the government!

D: [incredulously] Dude, everything’s on fucking fire! You been outside lately? All the goddamn buildings are BURNED, scorched, wrecked! Every good thing is GONE!

J: No, no! Looking at this all wrong you are.

D: [impatiently] Look Jill, you know I don’t speak Yoda.

J: [voice becoming petulant and shrill] Listen! Heeeeeeeeed me! [calms self as they all stare, nonplussed] The zombies came, and within 24 hours, it was all gone – infrastructure, superstructure, story structure, capitalist pig dog black-livered BASTARD structure of greed and evil – people are now sharing what they have, looking out for one another. Like you guys.

Jack: ... Actually, there’s something in that. [looks over hopefully] Like, I mean, you guys, if anyone DID have any drugs... I’m kinda dying here...

Saya: No one has any drugs, for crying out loud!

Jill: [clears throat ostentatiously] ANYWAY... [glares around until they are all staring at him strangely again] Gone, now, are all the great social evils. Coca Cola, Nike, Walmart –

Despanan: ... Clean drinking water, food and heated shelter, and, oh yeah - and the ability to walk the streets without being cannibalized by corpses!

Jill: [closing eyes with a beatific smile of wisdom] The People have had their fill of capitalism. They require something more substantial. Something they can put in their bellies. Each other. THIS is the naked face of capitalism, carried to its logical conclusion.

Despanan: [impatiently] Dude, that’s American Psycho. Now, that was an okay movie, but it really was nothing like this. Like, AT ALL.

Jill: No, no! Oh, please! All fit it does! The People, zombified by reality TV and relentless advertising and measures of success, have seen their true selves – and they are tearing it all down! They are [spreads hands dramatically, making his tattered sleeves hang like those of a sorcerer’s gown] the agents of anarchy!

Kontan: [annoyed] Look. This is dumb. The zombies aren’t people. They’re fucking UNDEAD. It’s not like I don’t agree that people are mostly a pretty stupid bunch, but the 85% of this society who were idiots would go home and jerk it to hot TV presenters. Maybe they’d vote Republican, or laugh at a racist joke on a Friday night out with their mouth-breathing buddies. The ZOMBIES, on the other hand, tear out your bowels and **** the hole while they eat your entrails. It is not the same thing.

Apathy: For real. This is not a symbolic perfect representation of capitalism, Jilly. It's a fucking disease that passes through the blood. We’ve all seen it happen.

Jill: Uh-huh so ANSWER ME THIS. Why then do you all co-operate with one another, if it’s not the best way of running things?

Apathy: [shrugging, still holding the shotgun at waist-height] I do it ‘cause I’m a magnanimous motherfucker. These dipshits wouldn’t last five minutes if I didn’t keep bailing their asses out. [camera pans over the group as they shrug and answer in turn]

Saya: ‘Cause Apathy promised to let me blow him after we save the world.

Jack: I’m just following the whiskey. [points to Apathy]

Despanan: And the shot-gun.

Kontan: I'm just here for the Lulz.

Sternn: I feckin’ HATE Republicans! [punches the wall] I’ll kill ‘em all and eat their hearts, just for the crack! [shadow-boxes violently at Jillian, who edges away, alarmed]
__________________
All pleasure is relief from tension. - William S. Burroughs

Witches have no wit, said the magician who was weak.
Hula, hula, said the witches. - Norman Mailer
Apathy's_Child is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2010, 03:27 AM   #109
Apathy's_Child
 
Apathy's_Child's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,732
Jill: So those are the things that brought you together. Beautiful, no? Well, no – maybe not... look, the point is, here you be, pulling in, sharing your shit like good communists. It just confirms to me that I did the right thing. It’s good to be at peace with my part in all this.

Apathy: Wait - your part? [suspiciously, finger tightening slightly on the trigger] What did you do, Jilly?

Jill: [with a radiant smile] I let the zombies into headquarters.

Apathy: [everyone gasps, stunned] You... WHAT?

Jill: [hands spread like a skinny-ass Buddha] I brought the revolution home. I shared it with you all.

INCREDULOUS PAUSE

Desp: [enraged] Jillian, you TERRIBLE CUNT!!

Jill: Just like Christ, hate me you do. But like Christ, forgive you I shall. [pauses, confused, then shakes head like a dog] No, what am I saying? That’s fucking stupid. I’M RIGHT, ‘cause I’m smarter’n you. Deal with it. [triple-snaps, pulling a bitch-face]

Desp: [losing his shit big-time, punching the wall. Sternn cheers him on] You let the fucking zombies in?! You’re telling us everyone’s fucking DEAD because of you, and you fucking TRIPLE SNAP AT ME?!!

Jill: [stops uncertainly, then points at him with a stupid smile] You mad.

KONTAN CRACKS UP LAUGHING AND POINTS AT JILLIAN APPROVINGLY, GIVING A THUMBS UP. DESPANAN PUNCHES HIM IN THE DICK AND HE FALLS TO HIS KNEES, CHOKING BUT STILL CACKLING THROUGH THE PAIN.

Jill: Look, don’t be mad, dude. I just figured it’d be, you know, cool... kinda like it might have been if we’d ever gotten our college anarchist club off the ground. [shakes head sorrowfully] Can you believe only two people at that college actually care about, like, CIVILIZATION? Sheesh. Just one more argument in favour of eugenics, amirite?

Despanan: [growling in animal rage] I will tear you limb from limb, you stupid fucking freegan hippie dipshit!

Apathy: [holding Despanan away as he flails at Jill] Look, Jilly, I'm sorry you've gone batshit insane and all, and I'm probably gonna beat your ass later, but right now we’ve gotta get out of here. We’re gonna leave by going down on the other side of the building and checking for survivors over there.

Jilly: And the revolutionaries?

Apathy: Sorry, Jill. Any ZOMBIES that get in our way are getting wasted.

Jilly: Then my place is here, Apathy. Alongside the soldiers of the good: the architects of commie love-in utopia. [sighs blissfully]

Despanan: Then we leave you here. [firmly, to the others] Don’t look at me like that. We fucking LEAVE him. He was unhinged even BEFORE we were attacked – shit, he’s the REASON we were attacked! He’s dangerous anyway, but dragging him along if he won’t even cooperate? FUCK that.

Apathy: [sighing] Desp is right. Jilly, you don’t want to come, that’s fine – fact, it’s probably for the best. We’d better get going. Good luck and try not to be so much of a dick with the anarchy stuff, huh?

Jilly: [finally opening his rapturously closed eyes and looking up at Apathy creepily] Oh, let you leave, I can’t.

Despanan: [frustrated] Dude, speak friggin’ English already!

Saya: I'm pretty sure he’s betraying us. AGAIN.

Despanan: WHAT?! [huffs angrily, glaring over at Jill] Jilly-Bean... it’s very important to me, right now, that you understand the pure bottomless depths that are my loathing for you. That’s not a mistake. I MEANT to say depths, plural, rather than depth, singular. Are you beginning to understand the boundlessness of my enmity?

Jill: [nodding sagely] Think so, I do. Speak clearly, I sometimes struggle purple hippo r.aping a capitalist anarchy eugenics fine with private schools BRAAAGGGGGGH!

Apathy: [snapping fingers in front of him] Jilly! C’mon. Focus. How and why’re you betraying us NOW? Is this still that bullshit with the sharing and the revolution?

Jill: No, no. Misunderstand me as always you do so wilfully. If I let you leave, you’ll kill the undead. Destroy my revolutionaries, you will! You might as well join the police and perpetrate acts of brutality on innocent protestors, willy-nilly! [roars] You’re traitors to the cause!

Apathy: [incredulous to the point of being slightly impressed] Dude... you’re fucking insane.

JILL LETS OUT A CRAZED SHRIEKING LAUGH, THEN LIFTS A HAND LIKE AN EFFEMINATE SOCERER AND YELLS.

Jill: Ernesto! Lenin! Stalin! Trotsky! My babies – come and tear at the flesh of the unbelieving masses, with their CONSISTENCY and their LOGIC and their COHESIVE THOUGHT PATTERNS. [pulls a face as he says the words; as he finishes, the zombies he has called emerge from the shadows behind him. There are four of them: Renatus, Carakitty, Humane and Geo]

Saya: [dismayed] Aw, shit! You guys too?

Apathy: [motioning them all into formation as they cluster behind him, weapons pointed outwards] Group together. DON’T panic and scatter.

Despanan: [pointing angrily at Jill, who’s standing behind the advancing zombies with his eyes closed, arms raised heavenward and the beatific smile back on his face] How come they’re not attacking HIM?

Kontan: [staring at Jill] Dude... that is freaky.

THE ZOMBIES ATTACK THE GROUP. APATHY BLOWS GEO’S HEAD OFF. AS SHE GOES DOWN, BEHIND HER, SAYA LEAPS ON RENATUS WITH A BLOOD-CURDLING WAR CRY AND STABS HIM THROUGH THE FOREHEAD WITH THE PEN.

Apathy: Saya! For fuck’s sake, would you use the meat cleaver?

Saya: I prefer the pen. [shrugs as Renatus falls] Got used to it.

Apathy: It could break on you at any moment! It’s a fucking death trap!

Saya: [indignantly] Look, sometimes a woman needs to spread her wings and experience new –

IS CUT OFF BY DESPANAN’S KUNG FU NOISES.

Despanan: [advancing on Carakitty with a series of flourishes, spins and high kicks] Woooo-TAH! [chopping] Hup hup hup! HIIII-YAH!! [she watches him approach, snarling but otherwise as nonplussed as the others, and jumps him when he finally chops at her forehead; they topple over together as he shrieks, then both go limp. Kontan runs over and pulls Carakitty, who is still twitching slightly from the bread knife in her head, off Despanan. Desp sits up shakily]

Kontan: [tossing Carakitty aside where she now lies still] You okay, Desp?

Despanan: [blinking at him, dazed] Take me in your arms, Luke.

Kontan: What? [leans in and kicks him, hissing] DUDE!

Despanan: Huh? [blinking and rubbing the lump on his temple, now more awake] Shit, my head... where’s my fucking knife?

BEHIND THEM, JACK AND STERNN ARE FIGHTING HUMANE. THEY SLAM HIM HARD INTO A WALL ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM AND APATHY BLOWS HIS HEAD OFF.

Apathy: [through the silence] Everyone okay? [assenting murmurs are heard] Okay, now back to – [looks around] Where the fuck is Jillian?

Kontan: [looking around] Shit. He must’ve skipped out while we were busy with these guys.

Despanan: Aw, FUCK-CAKES! [has crawled over to Carakitty and is yanking his knife from her head] I really, REALLY wanted to waste him, man. Like... REALLY.

Apathy: Goddamnit! [calms down and looks around, thinking as he talks] Okay, so we’re ALREADY in Gnet headquarters, surrounded by zombies, and now we’ve discovered that JILLY is not only fucking bugshit crazy and HELPING the undead, he also seems to be able to COMMAND them. They don’t attack him. They come when called. He’s like their fucking cult leader, somehow – and we have no idea why. All we know is, something REALLY fucking weird is going on. [looks up at them decisively] I’m going to do what I should have done the second we stepped through that door. Come on. We’re going to see if he who is everyone is still alive.

Saya: [realizing what he means] The Jam Room!

Jack: You mean... the supreme commander of Gnet?

Apathy: Yeah. Come on. If he’s still around, he’ll be able to shed some light on what’s happening here. [they exit; Kontan and Despanan hang back for a couple of seconds]

Kontan: [hissing] Dude, you hear that? He Who is Everyone is TOTALLY gonna tell the others it was us who summoned KammadinniBOOYAH!

Despanan: Shitfuck! What do we do?

Kontan: I say we make a break for it. C’mon. Let’s just bail.

Despanan: No way – this place is crawling! We split off from the others, we’ll get our asses killed in under five minutes! SHIT! [pounds the wall]

Kontan: Awww, fuck. [squares up] We’re just gonna have to face the music if he spills. You never know, maybe he’ll go easy on us. I mean, he IS us, just as much as he’s everyone else.

Despanan: [ forcing himself to calm down] Yeah. You’re right. Maybe he’ll cut us a break. He’s a pretty chill guy, right?

Kontan: [obviously no more convinced than Desp] Sure. C’mon. [they follow the others, leaving the stairwell deserted]
__________________
All pleasure is relief from tension. - William S. Burroughs

Witches have no wit, said the magician who was weak.
Hula, hula, said the witches. - Norman Mailer
Apathy's_Child is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2010, 06:48 AM   #110
Sir Canvas Corpsey
 
Sir Canvas Corpsey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,424
Quote:
Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child View Post
Not the funniest section, given the rush it was written in. However, I was awesome.
Mind you, we must rectify some things so that come the Zombie apocalypse I don't leave so unfulfilled.
__________________
“Lots of ways to help people. Sometimes heal patients; sometimes execute dangerous people. Either way helps.”
Sir Canvas Corpsey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2010, 10:36 AM   #111
Despanan
 
Despanan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Sugar Hill
Posts: 3,881
Fucking Brilliant.

I think you nailed Jillian's personality and speech patterns perfectly.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by KontanKarite
I promote radical change through my actions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger
I have chugged more than ten epic boners.
Despanan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2010, 10:44 AM   #112
Apathy's_Child
 
Apathy's_Child's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,732
Thanks guys. This shit's getting longer and longer. Only five more characters to come in now though. Honestly, it's beginning to seem like kind of an arduous task now I've actually plotted out a proper storyline and shit - I think it was more fun when I was just sitting down thinking, "So what now?" every time I added a chapter.
__________________
All pleasure is relief from tension. - William S. Burroughs

Witches have no wit, said the magician who was weak.
Hula, hula, said the witches. - Norman Mailer
Apathy's_Child is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2010, 11:53 AM   #113
Corpsey
 
Corpsey's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,126
Is that because you want to come up with more plot lines/characters spontaneously or you just don't find it as enjoyable to write something once you have a cohesive plan in your mind?
__________________
Everyone has a ghost...a phantom behind us which slows and drags us down.. This ghost or spectral has a name..."Regret".

"I've never regretted anything..." - Light Yagami

Life is a shit sandwich. Unfortunately, it's always lunchtime. How much bread you have goes a long way toward determining how easy it is to swallow.
Corpsey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2010, 12:18 PM   #114
Alan
 
Alan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,942
I laughed so hard at work dude! You know me more than I do myself. I had to even show it to some friends. Seriously, if there were a zombie apocalypse I'd be the insane one. I was reading it and was all "woah, dude, that makes sense, I'd really say that"
Except I would have been even more esoteric and petulant, talking about deterritorialization, post-human values, and that how are we better than them if they clearly (debatable but I'd be saying that) won.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by KissMeDeadly
You fucking people [war veterans] are only a step below entitled rich kids, the only difference being you had to do and witness horrible things, instead of being given everything.
real classy
Alan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2010, 02:28 PM   #115
Saya
 
Saya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Newfoundland
Posts: 9,512
Blog Entries: 1
Well, I'd probably attack with a knitting needle rather than a pen, but otherwise his caricature of me is eeeeerie. If he got it totally right I may have gotten creeped out XD

When this is finished, I'm totally putting it on my ereader. For giggles in between classes.
__________________
Adorn your hearts, you who see the blossoms
At flower-viewing hall
For the Buddha does not exist
Apart from this.

-Princess Yodo
Saya is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2010, 09:01 PM   #116
Despanan
 
Despanan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Sugar Hill
Posts: 3,881
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan View Post
I laughed so hard at work dude! You know me more than I do myself. I had to even show it to some friends. Seriously, if there were a zombie apocalypse I'd be the insane one. I was reading it and was all "woah, dude, that makes sense, I'd really say that"
Except I would have been even more esoteric and petulant, talking about deterritorialization, post-human values, and that how are we better than them if they clearly (debatable but I'd be saying that) won.
Can I fucking shoot him?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by KontanKarite
I promote radical change through my actions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger
I have chugged more than ten epic boners.
Despanan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-24-2010, 03:29 AM   #117
Versus
 
Versus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,829
Quote:
Saya: [has been staring at him adoringly as he reels out instructions with his trademark charisma] Nope. It’s all crystal clear. You explained it all so well, it made me want to fellate you. And I ALREADY wanted to fellate you before, so now, it’s like a physical craving. My mouth feels like an empty void, waiting to be filled with your heavenly man-juice.

Jack: Actually... mine too. [blinks, baffled; Apathy pulls out the hip flask, takes a pull and then tosses it]

Apathy: Nah, man. I thought I was craving my OWN jizz for a second there, but then I realized it’s ‘cause it’s been like a half hour since we took a drink. We’re just confusing our divine ambrosias.
Quote:
Jill: [crouching in the corner of the room with his back to the wall, staring up at them with manic eyes] Razors are for the bourgeoisie.
This had me in tears.

And I'm still waiting on SSJ.
__________________
Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.


-Breathin, Tupac.
Versus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-24-2010, 04:01 AM   #118
Apathy's_Child
 
Apathy's_Child's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,732
Quote:
Originally Posted by Corpsey View Post
Is that because you want to come up with more plot lines/characters spontaneously or you just don't find it as enjoyable to write something once you have a cohesive plan in your mind?
Ahh, just laziness really. 'Cause now it feels like an actual project, that I'm obligated to stick at, when the amount of in-jokes mean it won't be any good for anything but posting on here. It's still fun to write and all - I just have to actually think about it while writing now, to make sure the storyline stays tight and avoids plot-holes, whereas before I could just sit and shit out whatever I felt like when the mood took me.
__________________
All pleasure is relief from tension. - William S. Burroughs

Witches have no wit, said the magician who was weak.
Hula, hula, said the witches. - Norman Mailer
Apathy's_Child is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-24-2010, 05:20 AM   #119
CuckooTuli
 
CuckooTuli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 715
Wait, I'm confused - are the Jill in the story and the Alan who posted below the same person, or am I being dumb?

Either way, this is a good read. Although as someone already said, I get the feeling there are a lot of in-jokes in there that I'm missing.
CuckooTuli is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-24-2010, 07:11 AM   #120
Still Jack
 
Still Jack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Sheffield UK.
Posts: 2,075
This just gets better and better.
__________________
Avoid all needle drugs - The only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.
Still Jack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-24-2010, 08:03 AM   #121
JCC
 
JCC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,683
Sternn's doing it for the craic, not the crack, brah. You make him sound like some hopped-up Irish junkie.
__________________

What matters an eternity of damnation to someone who has found in one second the infinity of joy? - Charles Baudelaire
JCC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-24-2010, 11:28 AM   #122
Corpsey
 
Corpsey's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,126
Quote:
Originally Posted by CuckooTuli View Post
Wait, I'm confused - are the Jill in the story and the Alan who posted below the same person, or am I being dumb?

Either way, this is a good read. Although as someone already said, I get the feeling there are a lot of in-jokes in there that I'm missing.
The one and the same person. Jillian reached 9999 posts on this website and blew some sort of regulator on this website, forbidding him to be able to post anymore, so he made another account.
__________________
Everyone has a ghost...a phantom behind us which slows and drags us down.. This ghost or spectral has a name..."Regret".

"I've never regretted anything..." - Light Yagami

Life is a shit sandwich. Unfortunately, it's always lunchtime. How much bread you have goes a long way toward determining how easy it is to swallow.
Corpsey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-24-2010, 01:09 PM   #123
Alan
 
Alan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,942
Nah, I just didn't want to reach 10,000. Turns out I only had 9989 anyway.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by KissMeDeadly
You fucking people [war veterans] are only a step below entitled rich kids, the only difference being you had to do and witness horrible things, instead of being given everything.
real classy
Alan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-25-2010, 02:17 AM   #124
Angelic Dissonance2
 
Angelic Dissonance2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lexington, KY
Posts: 237
Quote:
Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child View Post
REMAINS OF HONEYTHORN
>8d

I know you were thinking it, too.
Angelic Dissonance2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2010, 04:14 PM   #125
Apathy's_Child
 
Apathy's_Child's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,732
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelic Dissonance2 View Post
>8d

I know you were thinking it, too.
Huh? What's >8d?
__________________
All pleasure is relief from tension. - William S. Burroughs

Witches have no wit, said the magician who was weak.
Hula, hula, said the witches. - Norman Mailer
Apathy's_Child is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:39 AM.