Game of Thrones: The Doo(-mg)r
Well dang, Martin, been planning this one for a while, have you?
On this week’s episode of Game of Thrones, Sansa gets a letter asking her to meet with Littlefinger in Moletown. Baelish is either stupid (doubtful) or conniving, as he plays dumb with Sansa regarding the Boltons. The writing is, frankly, wildly disappointing. Sansa deserves so much better than they’re giving her.
Meanwhile Arya had her sight back and is still struggling with the staves fighting. She stays with it though, refusing to throw in the towel. We get some backstory – apparently the Faceless Men built Braavos, and all the faces in the House of Black and White are the true faces of the Faceless who have passed on. Arya is assigned a new hit, and if she fails, she dies.
While Arya is in disguise, she attends a farce of Robert’s death. They brutally make fun of Ned and Sansa, and Arya doesn’t find it funny at all. Backstage, she wrestles with her assignment, which is to off one of the actors, the one who plays Cersei in the farce. It’s a bad time for morals.
Then there’s Bran, off in vision-land. He watched a human sacrifice in the part of the Children, presumably long ago. The sacrifice’s eyes turn ice blue: they made the White Walkers. As a defense against the Humans who were, at the time, at war with them. A remarkably short scene for such an important reveal.
In a scene that’s already passed in the books, we see the kingsmoot where the Iron Islanders choose a new ruler. Yara puts in her name as the first ever queen. Theon has the good sense to throw in his weight behind his vastly more qualified sister. And then their uncle has to go and mess everything up. Yara accuses him of murdering their father, and he owns up to it without a flinch. Lots of campaign promises later, they choose Euron as king. His first act? To try to go murder Yara and Theon, but they’ve already stolen all their best ships. So they start building. I feel like that’s a pretty solid head start they got there, mate.
Dany asks Jorah what the fuck his problem is. (“Why are you so, like, obsessed with me? Omg.”) The should he stay or should he go decision is made easy by Jorah’s grayscale. He’s still a creepy nice guy(tm). Dany won’t let him just walk off, though. She sends him to find a cure. With luck he’ll find it and then die, but who knows.
The entire body of the Dothraki follow Dany as she rides away. That’s my girl!
Dany’s small council carry on without her, and discuss propaganda. Tyrion thinks to invite the head priestess of The Lord of Light- she considers Dany the Chosen One. It all makes sense that she would be, given the whole fire symbolism of their religion. She’s on board but she wants everyone to convert to the whole Lord of Light thing. Varys isn’t buying it, but the priestess calls him out by knowing some eerie specific things about his life. Apparently Varys was castrated by a Priest of the Light. He looks shaken. First time I’ve seen him look ruffled.
Side note, why does this faith’s uniform involve such a crazy push-up bra and plunging neckline look?
Back to Bran, who touches a bone and instantly goes to vision land, where he sees a massive army of White Walkers. Excellent SFX makeup, their flesh is essentially dripping off of them. All led by the first sacrifice, who can see and touch Bran. Bran wakes and now the guy knows where he is. Apparently it’s time for Bran to ascend. And he’s not ready.
At Castle Black, the Squad tried to strategize. Sansa should be Queen in The North – she’s got the stuff. Sansa wants to send Brienne to Riverrun to speak to Blackfish get him backing their bid for Winterfell. Bri doesn’t want to leave her charge. Also Sansa claims she found out about the Blackfish having an army from a letter to Ramsay, when really she learned it from Littlefiger. Iffy.
Meera Reed is all pumped to leave when she realizes her breath is clouding in the air. The White Walkers have arrived. She rushes to get Bran out but he’s locked in a vision. The Children fight the Walkers with fire with limited success. The rank and file can’t pass it but the Big Bads can. And the walkers can dig in through the curling. Which they do. Lucky thing Meera can hold her own.
She begs Bran to wake and he finally does, possessing Hodor. Meera manages to slay one of the Big Bads but Summer the wolf gets killed. We are officially down to just Ghost. The Raven is also killed and Team Bran flies down the tunnels.
One of the Children, perhaps the last, sacrifices herself so they can go.
Hodor holds the door to keep the Walkers from escaping the tunnel. Back in the flashback, young Hodor has a seizure, repeating the words “Hold the door, hold the door, hold door… Hold door… Hodor… Hodor.”
Well that officially fucked me up. See you next week.
Tags: a song of ice and fire, game of thrones, game of thrones recap, got