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Walking Dead Episode 206

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The title of this week’s Walking Dead was “Secrets.” Everyone has them, Glenn can’t keep them, Maggie’s angry about them and Dale just likes to poke at hornet nests, which has nothing to do with secrets whatsoever. It all built up to the biggest anti-cliffhanger episode ending ever.

Let’s start with that ending, because it was the least interesting part of the episode. I imagine the script read simply, “They stand around talking in a field for about ten minutes. We hear crickets. END.” Lori’s baby drama is so incredibly tedious, and it looks like they’re going to drag that storyline out all season. You know what would make this interesting? If Lori said, “We should have lots of babies. Then if some walkers get near us we can throw a baby at them and slow them down enough to get away.”

The rest of the episode was determined to light fuses attached to every single character. Andrea was on the prowl right from the beginning, making up with Daryl. What else do you say to someone you accidentally shot in the head? “My bad.” At gun practice, she proves she’d be an ace if the world were infested with undead cans and No Trespassing signs. Shane keeps her after school for some special practice, but she sucks at hitting moving targets and walks out when he tries to get her to fire accurately under pressure. It’s obvious they’re going to get naked and sweaty together already, but you know for sure when extra care is taken to show how sexy Andrea looks strutting angrily along the roadside, gun at her hip.

Seeking Sophia in a housing development, we’re treated to a creepy scene featuring a family that apparently immolated themselves rather than be turned into zombies. We can see some evidence of the show’s budget cuts in the scenes with lots of zombies — though they hide it well with editing, there are clearly some “dude with gray make-up on his face” zombies filling out the crowd. We find out that zombie headshots are an aphrodisiac, at least where Andrea is concerned. She’s got a “just got laid” grin on her face even before she tries out the weight and balance of Shane’s piece.

Since Glenn spilled the beans about everything he knew, Dale confronts Hershel about the zombie barn. The big secret is revealed — Paw Greene is in favor of zombie rights. They’re not undead, mindless horrors, they’re Putrified-Americans. He’s got his wife and kids in there, waiting for the day when the zombie cure will return them to normal. Meanwhile the Greene family keeps feeding them crippled chickens to keep them not-alive. Of course, we know Hershel is in the wrong here — at the CDC last season we saw scientific proof that zombies have no higher brain functions. They’re animate disease vectors, nothing more. Still, the zombie sympathizer angle is a cool complication.

Glenn and Maggie head back to the drug store for Lori’s anti-baby supplies. Hey look, it’s Morning After Pill brand morning-after pills! They would probably have done nothing to alter Lori’s pregnancy, by the way. Since she already tested positive, only a drug that would induce abortion would work. Those aren’t typically referred to as morning-after pills. At first it seems like maybe the tension will dissolve so Maggie and Glenn can relive that enchanted afternoon from two episodes ago. There’s a walker back there, though. He grabs Maggie’s arm, giving us a great jump scare. She didn’t seem overly concerned about who’s dad that zombie was when Glenn made it nearly headless. When she gives him a fiery kiss later (Glenn, not the zombie), she even calls zombies “walkers.”

I think a better title for this episode would have been, “Mind Your Own Damn Business, Dale.” He’s the man with an answer for every question no one’s asked him. It’s an annoying trait, but he really crosses the line with Shane. First of all, based entirely on Andrea’s beatific grin, Dale decides that father knows best and Shane should just leave town in his lime green hot rod. That’s idiotic all on its own, but keep in mind that Shane’s just been out shootin’ guns, bangin’ blondes and tearin’ up the deserted highway in his Nissan Rogue. He’s sweating pure testosterone at that point. I was convinced that Shane was going to feed Dale’s beard to him. Instead, Dale got off with a stern talking to (or a blatant death threat, however you want to frame it).

Next week is the “mid-season finale,” (that term makes no sense, people). Here’s to hoping it has a better climax than this week did. Something to send us off on winter break with the warm afterglow of stunning Walking Dead revelations.

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Posted by on Sunday, November 20th, 2011. Filed under Dark TV, Headline, Images. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

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