hey look, more generic feelings.

i just hate this. theres no other way to describe it. you treat me so childishly over these things! you never look at it my way, and thats because its just not you....but us, being the way we are, it'd be nice once in a while. itd be nice not to be below you, knocked over by you, pushed around and utterly discarded by you..for once. i want to win just once. this one time, this ONE time....its really important to me, but you cant see that. our goals are the same, its all in who is more....you. its whos stronger, rude, selfish, cant you see you have SO many options! its not the same for me! it never has been ! this is so rare in me its like..what kind of a person ARE you to choose this one...i know exactly how you feel on the matter, and you know some of me, but what else is new. you never learn. but god, i just cant let you know how this effects me, i just cant. i want to make the connection stronger, better...i just want to be happy...but im not sure thats ever going to happen with you around. ive accepted that on some level..i just wish someday you could feel my pain. just for a day, to know..i just want you to know what you make me go through..what i bear for you. i couldnt tell you why i do it.. i wish you could hear me.