You don't have enough posts for me to PM you, which sucks. You need to get on a forum called 'fetlife'(google it). There are people there who you can talk to who like similar things. If you are part of the community it will be safer for you and you can find someone safe who won't put you in the hospital or something. I am not yet a member there, but my Dom has been on there for years and assures me that it is a good place. I hope this helps you to explore things safely.