Ah, you need a certain amount of posts is all.

It's because you haven't got a hundred posts.

Everybody's covered gothic rock so I'll leave that be. There's quite a lot of metal in there, but only because the bands you listed are all bands that epitomise shitty metal and I wanted to set you on the straight and narrow, you can skip the enormous metal bit if you want.

First of all, experimental music is the fucking shit, sooner you realise that the sooner you can increase your greatness by about 800%. Listen to Tom Waits (this guy is the greatest musician ever, by the way), Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band, Frank Zappa, anything by Mike Patton, Estradasphere, John Cage, Steve Reich, Secret Chiefs 3, John Zorn, Swans, the Pixies, Animal Collective and so on. Some of it is chinstroking music that makes you look like the fucking man, others are just good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_UklX2uBKM Tom Waits - Rain Dogs (live from Big Time, different to album arrangement)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUgZH...eature=related Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band - I Love You, You Big Dummy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7p6yUvQBXSY - Frank Zappa - King Kong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJkmTdoYQYE - John Zorn's Masada - Tekufah

One of the more specific experimental movements was No Wave, which was the tits. It's difficult to describe because all of those bands were just doing whatever the fuck they felt like, but the aforementioned Swans, James Chance and the Contortions, James White and the Blacks, Mars, DNA, Pere Ubu, Rhys Chatham, Bush Tetras, Sonic Youth, Teenage Jesus & the Jerks, Theoretical Girls, they're all awesome. Try and be open-minded about it, I get that it's probably pretty difficult for people to get into it on their first go.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPb18CzG2gg James Chance & the Contortions - I Can't Stand Myself
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7RPTI90fgM Mars - 3E/Scorn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-J1HOi-CZI Swans - Children of God
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCv6UvoP8u8 Theoretical Girls - You Got Me

Hip hop is excellent. You're into a lot of shitty bands that pretend they're metal, or so it seems, and that group seems to be pretty dismissive of hip hop. That's really fucking idiotic, because musically and lyrically hip hop is often leagues beyond the rest of popular music. Dälek, Dilated Peoples, A Tribe Called Quest, Deltron 3030, Busdriver, Jurassic 5, Cannibal Ox, El-P, Aesop Rock, MF Doom, Madvillain, GZA, Ghostface Killah, Atmosphere, Aceyalone, Juggaknots, R.A. the Rugged Man, Quasimoto, Supernatural, Diverse, Public Enemy, good hip hop is easy to find.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTeIq8CCG3s Dälek - Eyes to Form Shadows
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leG6KPY4LOQ Handsome Boy Modelling School - Holy Calamity
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vtklwuj0rM Aesop Rock - Big Bang
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oCXwl7XBiQ Deltron 3030 - Positive Contact


All of those shitty 'metal' bands are enough to make a guy want to clobber an infant to death, so Atheist, Necrophagist, Carcass, She Said Destroy, Morbid Angel, Spawn of Possession, Cryptopsy, Aborted, Dismember, Hypocrisy, Insomnium, Bloodbath, Deicide, Death, Nile, At the Gates, Suffocation, Vader, Possessed, Entombed, Obituary, Gorguts, Malevolent Creation, Grave, they're all good death metal bands to get your teeth into.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9RJXWxth5g Necrophagist - Stabwound
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHctRFwBfCo She Said Destroy - Time Like Vines
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRKB7AAXKDE Morbid Angel - Maze of Torment
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWNizdl1XfA Atheist - Mother Man

Black metalwise there's Peste Noire, Blut Aus Nord, Xasthur, Lurker of Chalice, Enthroned, Gorgoroth, Tsjuder, Velvet Cacoon, Nortt, Melechesh, Mayhem, Immortal, Darkthrone, Carpathian Forest, Nattefrost, Emperor and others. Don't let people convince you Burzum is good music, it's fucking shit. Also, a lot of black metal bands have the most stupid fucking views on ANYTHING, don't be surprised to find that you like a black metal band and then find that they're nazis, fascists, white supremacists, 'satanists', or anything equally bullshit. Just try and divorce the ideology from the music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMGO2ZN3Sto Peste Noire - Le Mort Joyeux
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxU12oSG0yY Blut Aus Nord - Elevation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DE5QekLPjEg Tsjuder - Unholy Paragon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_F4KiYFVWQ Darkthrone - Skald Av Satans Sol

Grindcore you've got Napalm Death, Bolt Thrower, Terrorizer, Nasum, Pig Destroyer, Cephalic Carnage, Rotten Sound, Repulsion, Brutal Truth, Last Days of Humanity, Agoraphobic Nosebleed, Discordance Axis etc.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCyPwvRqqww Nasum - Resistance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMZy3S-xQFo Terrorizer - After World Obliteration
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KM1yhU0dBFM Cephalic Carnage - Endless Cycle of Violence
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xbXFaenQQs Repulsion - Horrified

If you're a pussy and don't like extreme metal, you could always go for alternative metal like Faith No More, Tomahawk, Helmet, Primus, Soundgarden, the Jesus Lizard, System of a Down and stuff like that, just don't get dragged into that fucking shitswamp of Linkin Park and other wastes of oxygen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HP8nu4lTaqM Tomahawk - Red Fox
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHt2qjGhcA0 Helmet - Unsung
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gn9q8Kawv3M Primus - Wynona's Big Brown Beaver

Doom metal is excellent, listen to Electric Wizard, the Hidden Hand, Cathedral, Candlemass, Anathema, Burning Witch, Witchfinder General, Reverend Bizarre, Pentagram, Orthodox, Saint Vitus etc. The lyrics often suck, but you listen to Nightwish so you're used to it.

Examples: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWJjyU7F9QM Electric Wizard - Satanic Rites of Drugula
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfYR_-pR6-4 Reverend Bizarre - The Devil Rides Out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9-_3-TVQy0 Candlemass - Crystal Ball

Drone metal is also excellent, listen to Sunn O))), Boris, Bonedust, Earth, Teeth of Lions Rule the Divine. You'll probably take a while to get into it, it's not the most accessible music in the world.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIR1KfKXH6s Sunn O))) - It Took the Night to Believe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrclNyck6HY Earth - Ouroboros is Broken

Funeral doom is like doom metal and drone metal mixed together and it's my favourite, therefore it's the best. Ahab, Esoteric, Wormphlegm, Tyranny, Skepticism, Thergothon, Worship, it's all good so long as their songs are ridiculously long.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NZpJ3waQBk Ahab - Old Thunder
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvuOiQop_xY Wormphlegm - Epejumalat monet tesse muinen palveltin caucan ja lesse
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2VnIGfwzL0 Esoteric - Allegiance

Mathcore divides metalheads a bit but whatever, it's fucking boss. SikTh, Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza, Behold... the Arctopus, Botch Psyopus, the Locust, Genghis Tron, Architects,, Daughters, Hella, Dillinger Escape Plan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agnGv_2gmSQ Psyopus - Insects
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0ioNQoAPc8 Daughters - Recorded Inside a Pyramid
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujLAabFsD6w SikTh - As the Earth Spins Round

As far as nu-metal, Slipknot are good and I won't accept any argument to the contrary, they just are. This is the limit to acceptable nu-metal. Listen to Slipknot if you want, but don't be one of those fucking 'maggot' cunts.

Post-metal is like an orgasm. Isis, Red Sparowes, Jesu, Neurosis, Pelican.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Awg99tk6vys Isis - So Did We
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uG2omwi0VEc Red Sparowes - The Great Leap Forward Poured Down Upon Us One Day Like a Mighty Storm, Suddenly and Furiously Blinding Our Senses
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmdmnnv2NkY Neurosis - Locust Star

Sludge metal is the shit, Omega Massif, Sea of Bones, Matsudo, Eyehategod, Iron Monkey, Buzzov*en, Kylesa, Acid Bath, Kongh, Monarch, the Melvins.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbWw3R4Ji7Q Omega Massif - Exodus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQmrChMHfr0 Iron Monkey - Bad Year
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGFru8yyYIw Kylesa - Hollow Severer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LLu2FAb7NY the Melvins - Civilized Worm

Stoner metal is good, listen to it with weed just for the sake of continuity. Sleep, Acid King, Bongzilla, Cuda, Weedeater, Orange Goblin.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rv1HkQ0dBmw Acid King - Bad Vision
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xftx2MUT87A Bongzilla - 666lb Bongsession
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsFwFvOumVQ Orange Goblin - Your World Will Hate This

Some people look down on thrash metal. I know it's not very well respected here. Those people are shits, and should die alone in a hole. Slayer, Exodus, Vio-Lence, Acid Reign, Death Angel, Testament, Overkill, Voivod, Onslaught, Municipal Waste, Celtic Frost. Megadeth are shit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkGUIw9AjGk Exodus - Toxic Waltz
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2INWZ1Y8DL4 Onslaught - Killing Peace
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6_zsJ8KPP0 Slayer - Angel of Death

There, now you can't say you've got shitty taste in metal any more, and if you do, it's your own fault. Next up on my list is jazz, it's brilliant and you should listen to it, then you can stroke your beard and sip your red wine and feel like you're the fucking man. Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers, Max Roach, Albert Ayler, John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Wayne Shorter, Henry Threadgill, Duke Ellington, Art Farmer, Bud Powell, Charles Mingus, Thelonious Monk, Noah Howard, Booker Little, Eric Dolphy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vglFMb9zUo Art Blakey & the Jazz Messengers - Moanin'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSCidXo36UA Albert Ayler - Wizard
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKD-1YvFjkk Duke Ellington - Jack the Bear
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LltcJs2BZaU Eric Dolphy - Hat and Beard

Indie folk is the tits, Neutral Milk Hotel, Beirut, Bon Iver, Sufjan Stevens, Noah and the Whale, Grizzly Bear, Iron and Wine, Laura Marling, A Hawk and a Hacksaw, Fleet Foxes. This is probably my favourite style of music at the moment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCxEWPLDg5c Neutral Milk Hotel - Two-Headed Boy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYwmDJigB1o Beirut - The Penalty
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfAS6nwYc9g Bon Iver - Skinny Love

Punk was the precursor to goth so it deserves a mention, not to mention that it's the greatest style of music. Crass, Dead Kennedys, Refused, the Adicts, Anti-Flag, Gorilla Biscuits, GBH, The Casualties, Black Flag, Government Issue, Mike V and the Rats, Rudimentary Peni, Conflict, Flux of Pink Indians, Discharge, Disfear, The Exploited, FEAR, Suicidal Tendencies, TSOL, Sham 69, Social Distortion, The Descendents, The Business, The Buzzcocks, Paint it Black, Bad Religion, Minor Threat, Propagandhi, Bad Brains, Against Me!, Against All Authority, Rancid, Misfits, Stiff Little Fingers, Minutemen, Subhumans, Circle Jerks, Cock Sparrer, Oi Polloi, 7 Seconds, The Dead Milkmen, Strike Anywhere, The Dead Boys, UK Subs, Richard Hell and the Voidoids, GG Allin, The Adolescents, Reagan Youth, Agnostic Front. I could keep this up forever. One band that you do have to check out is Converge, they could pretty easily fit into the Mathcore category but they prefer to be characterised as hardcore punk, so whatever. Anyway, they're fucking great.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIdcDL64KCE Crass - Big A Little A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1TGUv33DUY Dead Kennedys - Holiday in Cambodia
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8C-MdFPpEk Discharge - State Violence, State Control
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJAlIHsXcLY FEAR - Let's Have a War
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utT0lLC6d5Q Converge - No Heroes

Oh yeah, by the way:

BOB DYLAN

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUogzf1h2UY Bob Dylan - Rainy Day Women #12 & 35

I even put YouTube links in. Try and call me unhelpful now, ya cunt. ;)

The fact that you listed R.A. The Rugged Man alone makes me happy.

never!!!!!!!!!!

It's a lot easier with black metal, the vocals are pretty indecipherable so "HAIL SATAN" just sounds like "RARR... RARR"

If you like listening to women with haunting voices or something similar I'd reccomend Switchblade Symphony or Xmal Deutschland at the very least. If you want something abnormal then Blonde Redhead is the way to go.

Greetings my good sir and welcome to the boards.