Right...go get on that...
People like you shouldn't be allowed to engage in adult acts.

....You kiddin' me?

As my collegues implied, what the hell is wrong with you? Isn't everything obvious? You worthless landfill. First of all: it's an urban legend that human seed is a tooth whitener, it only whitens them for as long as its on them. And besides, even then, sometimes your teeth are some other color.
Could you be any denser?

I know, Nachtsaucier, check this loser out, right? What a filthy rodent. Wouldn't you agree that having to deal with rodents like this is a fate worse than death? Hey, firegizzardwimp, you think you'll be safe from the flames in the haven of the introduction board? Every living soul on this site hates you! The fire and wizards and vamps are yours to bear for all time.

I hear that, compadre! Who's this bitch think she is? Oh my, isn’t she a presumptuous brainstump! She comes in here prancing around like a beauty queen who thinks she's all free and loose. No way, Fire loser, you amphibious whore, that's not how it works around here. But it's easy to guess that a flake of scum like you wouldn't understand that, huh?

High five! Forget this slut. What a dweeb. I can't stop laughing at that pathetic display, can you? Yeah, I know!

Jesus Christ, Lord of Man, you have got be making a subnormal joke, Firewaterburn! Is it possible that you’re seriously considering showing your face on this site again? If you are, you're making the biggest mistake you've ever made in your life, and that's saying a hell of a lot.

God, I hope she's gone, am I right everyone?

o_o

Since when are you on our side?

Where did you even come from? Whats with being a complete jerk? You aren't even the slightest bit witty, and reading that is the only true insult.

Dear Dollface,

I'm glad you enjoyed my post, but the only real jerk here is you. I resent that you used the word 'jerk,' though I know you meant no offense. Honest mistake, but my grandmother was a jerk, and now she’s dead. Due to your repulsive misuse of the word, I heretofore revoke your privileges of its use. Would that I could remove your R, J, K, and E keys, but then you wouldn’t be able to type, “I just want to be your subordinate, Uncle Smoov. If I could turn back the clock and write a fawning apology, please believe that I would at once.” Perhaps I’ll grant you the ability to turn back clocks once I feel you’re worthy. Then again, perhaps I won’t.
You would do well to know my name, as this website is fully my demesne. I came from the east on camelback to find wealth and fame in the land of the Goths, an ambition that, while a complete success, many jealous toads see to contest. Perhaps you’ll be more docile once you and your invertebrate nervous system realize that struggle is useless.

See you in Hell,
Arthur Smooverelli

Come on, man, we're old buds! How's the wife, anyway? Oh yeah? Wow, that sure sounds like Polly! ::Rolls eyes and smirks in agreement to your news on the wife::! Boy, we really have a lot of catching up to do. So much lost time. So many unmade memories. So very sad.

"my grandmother was a jerk, and now she’s dead."


xD
I have to start using that.

*adds to ignore list* thank god I wont have to stumble on that anymore.

I think I just lost IQ points.

The better for internet predators to draw you into a situation out of which you can't pull yourself. I'd watch out for creeps around here now that your retardation has blossomed into profundity. Don’t let your childlike impulses make you panic though. I’m here to protect you. I’d suggest trusting my advice and demands as though they were written in the Book.

Uncle Smoov, you have to stay. It is boring here without you. :D

The nightmare has just begun for our dear, though naive, friend thedull. For what she cannot comprehend is that a life without Uncle Smoov is like a coward without a mommy.

Uncle Smoov...do you have stairs in your house?

Stay? Why would the idea of leaving ever cross my mind? More pressingly, why would the idea of my leaving ever cross yours, or any of my people's? No, Emperor Smoov's tenure adheres to his life. His reign will last for as long as his veins are rivers, his followers will thrive with plunder and joy for as long as his fast-firing mind remains one with his astoundingly toned body, and his enemies will endure numberless miseries for as long as time remains a part of the universe.

If I told you that, you scheming assassin, how would I be capable of protecting myself if you shoved me down them? Shoving is not the answer, you violent, twisted, unrepentant psycho. Return to the wilderness where lunatics like you belong before my jerk grandma's ashes get shoved down the stairs. I'll not tolerate malevolent goons like you in my domain. Shape up and think of nothing but the well being of your King or you'll find yourself protected in a way you'll neither expect nor enjoy.

I knew it...

Uncle Smoov, your flagrant use of monumental and extravagant vocabulary does little to dissemble your lack of dependable intelligence.

Orwell's Second Law: "Never use a long word where a short one will do."
--"Politics and the English Language," George Orwell.

Stats are useless. As a famous man once said: "There are 3 types of lies: Lies, Damned lies and Statistics."
Mark Twain

Hey BahHellDamnStainsMercury, you wouldn't know about the flagrant use of monumental and extravagant vocabulary if it closed a thesaurus on your tongue. Nor would you know dependable intelligence if it did the same - or perhaps a different, more relevant - thing.
Your easy-to-correct inaccuracies aside, I'll have you know that I am considered by one of the most important people on earth to be among the greatest minds in both the history and future of our species. Anyone with an eighth of a working head, many of whom reside on this very board, could point out my unquestionable genius after reading only one letter of the wisdom that flows like ink through my keyboard. At such a lofty position, I technically should be giving you advice, of which I have a great deal. Miserably for you, however, is that I'm still wondering whether or not you deserve it.
And so, to finalize, I hereby bestow many gracious thanks upon you for your most accommodating council in the matter of word appraisal. From now on 'big' will be my replacement for 'colossal,' 'do' will replace 'accomplish,' and 'good' will always be written when 'spectacular' is thought.

Orwell's fourty-fourth Law: "Two plus two makes five."
--"Nineteen Eighty-Four," George Orwell.

Not to start more argument but I love Uncle Smoov's colorful vocabulary.

Dude!

This thread is about SEX.

Not ego boosting.

KAyyy???

man--this was meant to be silly and somewhat useless--look what it hath wrought....

No kidding.

I think they need to change the saying of "Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn" to:

Hell hath no fury like Gnet.

y/n?

LOL...perhaps...