I warned you I'd use the thumbnail... could gouge out an eye and see if it really is edible.

i tried to refrain... i REALLY, REALLY did - but you made it too easy. plus, i'm drinking and i warned you this might happen.

I can't control The Claw. The Claw pokes on its own. It pokeses out the eyes, it does...

Why stick to one label when there are oh so many others out their. Besides most people are much more than one thing. Well that's my penny anyways.

This is exactly what i thought everyone would say.

Oh really, now?

Well then:

scabbed off http://www.gothicrevue.com

Funny and true enough:

Gothic Commandments

-Thou shalt wear black. Thou shalt wear black and thou shalt fucking dye thy hair and shine thy boots and wear heavy makeup. This law is immutable.

-Thou shalt like Bauhaus, Alien Sex Fiend, Sex Gang Children, Cinema Strange, Sisters of Mercy and the Cure's first three or four albums, or thou art a fucking poser.

-Thou shalt fight like a motherfucker when confronted, for thou art scarey and mean.

-Thou shalt not be afraid of the dark, nor of graveyards nor ghosts nor the devil, for thou art scarey and mean.

-Thou shalt read Byron, Poe and Poppy Z. Brite. Thou shalt not just buy the books because they look good on thy bookshelf, thou shalt fucking well read them.

-Thou shalt not pretend to be a vampire, particularly when thou art in highschool, for that is fucking gheye.

-Thou shalt seek an 'alternative religion', no matter how wacky, and thou shalt practise it. Thou shalt not give two shits if another bad-mouths said 'alternative religion' for thou art not just scary and mean, but thou art fucked-in-the-head as well.

-Thou shalt not wear pink nor yellow, except as accents or in a sarcastic fashion.

-Thou shalt wear fishnet. This law is immutable.

-Thou shalt not wear off-the-rack outfits or thou art a fucking poser.

-Thou shalt not nitpick over "types" of goth nor waste webspace defining said, or thou art a fucking loser.

-Thou shalt support thy local scene and contribute to thy subculture or thou shalt not fucking whinge about it.

-Thou shalt aquaint thyself with the history of the modern gothic subculture.

-Thou shalt eschew 80s cock-rock hair bands. Though shalt not wear clothing by Lip-Service because Lip-Service designed clothing for shitty hair-metal bands like Poison and is therefore not a goth label.

-Thou shalt eschew crappy glam-metal bands from the 1980s and anything that ever had anything to do with them, like Lip-Service. Guns N' Roses, on the other hand, art technically a punk band and therefore OK.

-Thou shalt not complain about thy local scene and then proceed to neither do anything about it nor move to another. Thou shalt not move to a different local scene and then bitch about how "it was so much better over there" and then proceed to not do something better where thou livest.

-Thou shalt not confuse the Victorian Neo-Gothic fashion movement with the Gothic Subculture or thou shalt be deemed "a dumbass."

-Thou shalt not whinge about how much goth sucks, or thou canst fucking start thine own subculture & get the fuck out of ours.

-Thou shalt smoke kretek -- not 'clove cigarettes', but kretek. Thou shalt call said smokey- treats 'kretek' and thou shalt like it. If thou hasn't the lungs to smoke kretek, thou shalt smoke Marlboros because Nik Fiend does or Lucky Strikes for the Poppy Z Brite reference.

-Thou shalt not appear to all intents and purposes to be a goth and then claim not to be.

-Thou shalt be a cat-person, or at least pretend to be. Thou shalt not, however, pretend to be a were-cat, for that is fucking gheye.

-Thou shalt watch cheesy horror-movies from the 1950s and thou shalt like it. Thou shalt watch silent horror-films and thou shalt like this too.

-Thou shalt not feign Transylvanian accents, nor British ones, nor Irish.

-Thou shalt not claim to be decended from Gypsies, nor from Visigoths, nor from Celts nor Picts nor Romanians unless thou art, in fact, descended from such.

-Thou shalt take bad photos of thinself and loved-ones goofing-off in the local cemetery. Thou shalt post these photographs on thy web-page and not give a shit about what the others say. Thou shalt also, occasionally, take *good* photos of thyeself and loved-ones in the cemetery and thou shalt be very proud of these photos.

-Thou shalt play regularly in abandoned buildings, especially abandoned churches and cathedrals and thou shalt like it. Thou shalt also recognise the difference between a church and a cathedral or thou art a poseur.

-Thou shalt recognise the historical importance, to the scene, the names "Johnny Slut", "Rozz Williams", "Nik Fiend", "Peter Murphy", "Siouxsie Sioux", "Robert smith" & "sexbat". Failure to recognise historical importance of these names or thou shall admit ignorance of the scene and proceed to do some research.

-Thou shalt drink things which taste like aniseed, and thou shalt like it, or thou shalt drink whiskey. If thou drinkest whiskey thou shalt drink it straight and aquiant thyself with the history and particulars of whiskey. Thou shalt also be able to tell the differences, by taste, between American, Scotch and Irish whiskeys, or between Ouzo, Absinthe and Sambuca.

-Thou shalt know what the Batcave and Slimelight were.

-Thou shalt feel a deep connection with Ministry's "Every Day is Halloween".

-Thou shalt also not be ignorant of Ministry's roots, nor of their development.

-Thou shalt recognise Cryptie's HomePage as a cleverly constructed humour site or thou hast a big giant stick up ye olde arse.

-Thou shalt recognise "Gothic ******"s a Japanese fashion-movement having no real connections to Goth as a subculture. Thou shalt recognise Japanese visual-rock or "visual kei" as being musical performance art and thou shalt not confuse it with something remotely connected to Goth, as a subculture.

-Thou shalt not be mopey, nor sucicidal, nor shalt thou murder thy classmates, or thou art a jerk.

-Thou shalt recognise the difference between a "movement" and a "subculture" and be able to explain these fine-points if confronted.

-Thou shalt understand the finer points of backcombing, and thou shalt backcomb.

-Thou shalt not mistake 80s pop-culture for goth, nor shall thou confuse 80s pop music with goth. Thou shalt, on the other hand, like all the gay '80s synth-pop thou pleases, AS LONG AS thou doest NOT claim it to be goth!

-Thou shalt never never never NEVER claim Synth-Pop to be the be-all and end-all of goth, nor shall you consider it such, nor shall you even believe it to be goth, and thou shalt differentiate between Synth-Pop & Goth.

-Thou shalt recognise the difference between being bisexual and merely claiming bisexuality as a means of getting attention. Thou shalt also recognise the differences between being a slut and merely acting slutty for purposes of getting attention.

-Thou shalt summarily execute any so-called DJ who can not/will not play Bauhaus at a goth club.

-Thou shalt run or work for goth clubs only because thou lovest thy scene passionately, not because thou wishest to be popular. This applies also to stores, magazines, radio programmes, etc.

-Thou shalt not claim Sarah Brightman to be a "Goth."

-Thou shalt be insular & cliquey towards normals, but thou shalt refrain from backbiting & bitchery within the scene.

-Thou shalt not claim to be oldschool if thou art not. Thou shalt not claim to have been a goth longer than thou hast. Thou shalt not claim to have met Trent Reznor unless thou hast, in fact, met Trent Reznor. Thou shalt not claim or pretend to know who Trent Reznor is if thou doest not, and if thou does not, thou art a poser.

-Thou shalt recognise the differences between Wicca, neo-paganism, Druidism, Thelema, Qabbalah, Satanism and other occult religions past and present and never shall thou treat these terms as interchangable.

-Thou shalt do thy research before thou openest thy gob and speaking about anything. Taking thy friend's word does not count as research.

-Thou shalt not bitch and moan about labels such as Lip Service, Cleopatra and Hot Topic and then buy their products anyway.

-Thou shalt have a sense of humour about thyself and thy subculture, for really, thou doest looketh like a bit of a dick. Thou shalt know when thou lookest like a dick, and thou shalt laugh about it, for if thou doest not, someone else will.

-Thou shalt not claim to suffer from chronic insomnia or other sleep-disorders unless thou truly doest. Thou shalt not claim to suffer from bipolar disorder or another mental illness unless thou truly doest. Thou shalt not claim to be prescribed any medications, past or present, unless thou actually hast been. If thou doest so, very very lame art thee.

-Thou shalt not claim to be sensitive to sunlight unless thou truly art. Thou shalt not get thy prescription glasses UV-tinted unless thy was urged to do so by thine optometrist.

-Thou shalt not feign disorders, traumas, or angst. Thou shalt not feign nihilism, existentialism, or fatalism. Thou shalt not pretend to be, to have, or to have done anything which thou art not, hast not, or hast never done, or thou art one hell of a poser.

-Thou shalt not use "poser" as an insult without genuine grounds to do so.


by:
- Rozzlyn J. Heltir http://www.rozzlyn.net & Malice Unsane http://www.maliceunsane.tk



Sorry, but I just hate that "You're a goth no matter what you do, wear or like just as long as you want to be a goth" attitude. It sucketh.

.... I don't have photos of me at a cemetery.

OH GODS! I'M A POSER! *kills herself*

A lot of those make a lot of sense. On the other hand, I don't know why people go on about it so much.

I am a goth by the way.

O.O @ goth commandment

ô.o

ah, i miss these kinds of threads...and Soul_Immortal's avatar

how many times are we gonna see a "Am i goth?""What is Goth?""Where is Goth?"or"Does Goth exist?" thread?

those commandments are too funny.

Sup Vince ^_^?

Here's lookin' at you, kid ;D

Yes.

There are about **,*** threads like that, and not just on this forum.

Exactly, and if you're a goth, and you have been a while, it's even more tiresome!

Especially with all this "don't label me!" nonsense that doesn't stand up to about five seconds of thinking through.

i'm going to assume "**,***" was a number...why the phuck was that censored?

offtopic, Soul, you aren't south of me anymore are you? Katrina's done turned into a big mean brutal bitch, NOLA is about to get properphucked.

No no haha, I put the asterisks in myself.=-pToo lazy to type in an actual number.

Offtopic: Nah, up in KY for now hun. But I've got my family down there. Everything seems to be fine so far, but thank you for the concern.

UPDATE:

GET OUT OF NEW ORLEANS, NOW

*sigh* use google instead of making yourself look like a fool.

Isn't it batman????

HOLD THE PHONE.

There is a Family Guy movie?

O.o

That's because Mael is truly a demigod of a very interresting religion.

And the rules were truly funny.

A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.

Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second.

There are no "real" goths. The ninja's all came in the night and took them all away. We aren't goths, we represent the Lollipop Guild.

Okay yeah I'm bored at work, shoot me.

Bang! You're dead!

Yay! *dies*

X_x

::Dies::

...

*Is resurrected by an unknown, becomes poltergeist.*

BOO!

Oooh, someone kill me now! Preferably not too painfully. And creative would be good.

Hell, I don't even want 'em to find my body.

Meh.

Whatever happened to that Way You Want to Die thread?

it was in whining, wasn't it?

Maybe that was how you would commit suicide . . .

What... no one wants to get creative and kill me? :(

*was dead, get's better*

Well on that note I smoke...alot. I mean a little over two packs a day alot.

So I figure I'm buying my cancer riddled death on the installment program. Suicide for the lazy fucker, that's what smoking is to me.

I always hear people say, "Don't give labels."

That's impossible. Humans label things. Humans need answers, names, and categories. It's just the way they are.

It's just like people saying they don't hate anybody. Bull. People need something to hate, and something to rant about. Everybody hates somebody, even if that person happens to be themselves.

And "being different." Nobody's that unique, and if they are, they don't stay that way for long. There's always somebody who'll emulate them, or agree with them. The moment somebody agrees with you or identifies with you, you're no longer different.

Do what you want, say what you want, call yourself what you want. It doesn't really matter.

At least that's my spin on it.

just get naked.

Trust me Kali, we've been through threads like these A LOT. You'd better copy/paste your post onto your desktop, because you're more than likely going to need it again sooner or later, much like my "introduce yourself in the INTRODUCE YOURSELF HERE thread" speech, I got it copied onto the desktops of the computers I use to log on to this site...

I didn't mean to sound cross when posting.

It's just that the "I don't label" thing irritates me.

For example, I hear people say, "I don't label or discriminate," then 10 minutes later call someone a racist or a "hater"? Aren't those labels? Isn't intolerance toward intolerance still intolerance?

It just goes around in circles.

Personally, I don't mind being labeled. I love the word "Goth" and all it implies wholeheartedly. It's a term of endearment to me.

Plus you have to pick one when you sign up.

And really, a label is just a noun. The way people go on, identifying yourself as something means that's all you could ever be. It's just silly.

[sarcasm] I'm so goth, I fart bats and cobwebs [/sarcasm]

I think that'd kill everyone -else-. Just kill me in what I'm wearing. :-P

pffff... If I were to live in a town with a scene I might let people call me goth (ha ha, as if I'd do aomething abou it if they did) or call myself goth, but there is't a scene. Mansonites and Good Carlotte kids running around everywhere with no elders to push them in line... ah-well. At least they're alright to be around, untill they start talking about how "oppressed" they are for being "different"... and there are some real goths and punks and such, but they just don't care enough either. Also, I don't lik how goth is supposed to automatically equal satanist around here... when some people think "White Christian Male" they think like Goesrge Bush. I think Alice Cooper. It's not the label that's the problem, it's the connotation.

*hugs Jane* Yay! More spiffeh members are returning!

*hugs* I missed you, Winged ^.^

Everyone misses me. XD

yeah. You didn't know?


pfft. Neither did I.

oh, fine winged. I notice I got no hug. And what about you jane? Doncha loves me no more?

*hugs FenrisQueen for a really long time* Does that make it better? ^^

I got no hug and I didn't even get to be killed yet.

Where's my strange, semi-metaphorical death scene, damn it?

perhaps. Do I get a kissy?

Nyquil, I'll whip ya up a standard weirdo death scene. (even though I'm not the one who's supposed to kill you)

Hmm... who's supposed to kill me then?

But yes, death scene please.

Yes, who's supposed to kill you. *smooches FenrisQueen* ^^

I wonder if whoever is supposed to kill me is on this board.

Hey, at least then they'll know how to do it, once my weird death scene is up. Yay?

why not take some ecstasy and wander into a florida swamp, barking like a dog?