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73. Sacrifice dolls and teddy bears to the "TV gods" in electronics.
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74. Get a friend and play the TRON light cycles game with bikes and toilet paper. Try to knock as many people over in the process.
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75. Align manakins into suggestive positions.
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big bad voodoo daddy,
I find your avatar equally arousing. I would skull-fuck it with a 10-inch steel dick and blow man-juice so hard it came out his bulging eye sockets. 76. Release the bouncy balls!! 77. Go to the garden section with a bloody shirt and a mask on and ask where they keep their chainsaws. Then ask about shovels and plastic bags. 78. Pick up one of the fishing poles in the sporting section, set the reel up and tie a donut to the hook. Then throw it over the divider to behind the firearms counter. |
79. Take a huge shit next to the $5 DVD bin (Be sure it's right in the middle of the area so everyone else can see preferbly a supervisor or boss)
80. Pick-up said shit up and start flinging it at that stupid bouncy happy faces that they have all over the store. |
81. Get a battery powered CD player and dress in boxing shorts and gloves. Go around the store looking for people to fight. When you find one, play "Eye of the Tiger" on the CD player and start jabbing at your unsuspecting opponent.
82. Make the world's largest taco out of things found in the office supply and arts and crafts sections. Okay, this one is great, but not for Wal Mart: Go to a laudrymat and place a life sized doll of a three year old in a washing machine along with a plentyful amount of fake blood (red food dye and corn syrup). Turn the machine on and watch from a distance to see what happens. 83. Use spray paint to make the worlds larges picture of Rick James on the floor. Proceed to dance while singing super freak (if possible have a friend who plays bass guitar assist you). |
84. When you enter Wal Mart go directly to the book section. Find a dictionary and pick a random word (try doing this with out looking) and when some one says that word freak out and start yelling at them in as angry a tone as you possibly can.
85. Grab another dictionary and when you hear some one say something idiotic, throw the book at them and yell knowledge. Repeat until they appear to be smarter in some way. |
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86. Take an electric guitar (prefferably a broken one) and use it to smash as many rock band and guitar hero products as possible. Yell something about how much you hate the fakes as you do this, and if anyone asks what you are doing, just say the classic South Park quote, "Tuk-r-jobs!"
87. Durring winter time attempt to "penguin sled" on anyone with a big pooffy jacket. 88. Play king of the kill with a "ref" ho decides where the hill is and gives penalties for unsportsman like conduct. The penalty box is the closest shopping cart whether it is full or not. |
ok this forum is great. and as for the come back made by "blackwater1110" simpily amazing that was the greatest thing i have read i am glad i did not hear it for if it had been heard it would have been equivalent of hearing chuck norris speaking: no one can hear it directly for it will explode thier mind instantly for lack of ability of holding that much awsomeness.
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89. start random conversations with anyone you can and as they are talking pretend to jizz in your pants
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90. put all these on a paper and go into walmart walk up to a person (preferably one that works there) and ask what one of the words says (note: the list should have a large title and you should show them the first page so that they can see the title)
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91. Go to an area where there are fountains and pretend to be one while urinating.
Ben, did Ashley tell you about the fish in vertebrate bio? |
no she didn't, why?
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2. I had to dissect it. 3. She wanted to name it. 4. When I ate an eclair when I got home, it was horrible because all I could think about was the inside of the fish. Eclairs are a lot like a fish if you think about it. |
92. Bring your band if you have one and have an unauthorized "jam session" in the middle of the store.
93. After having a good jam session, film a rediculously offensive music video, maybe a song called "kissin' hands & shakin' babies." |
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So, Ben, do you like my avatar?
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it looks just like you
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94. Use clothes in the store to dress like an old man. Take one of their lawn chairs, a six pack of beer, and a toy gun (or a real one if you can get it) to the garden section. Sit in the lawn chair drinking the beer and perhaps smoking a corn cob pipe. Any time someone comes near yell at the "young whipper snappers" to get off your lawn, and threaten to shoot them for trespassing.
95. Use chocolate milk and chocolate bars to stain the seat of pants you were trying on in the dressing room. Walk around the store licking it off. Ask if you can get a discount on soiled goods. |
96. Build a large fort or castle out of toilet paper and lob rolls at anyone who gets close while singing the "Geat Mighty Poo Song" from Conker's Bad Fur Day.
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97. Get a group of friends and/or store mannequins and use available sporting goods from the store to have a full contact street hockey game in one of the isles. Occasionally have someone use a power wheel or similar toy car to come by so you can shout "CAR!" and move out of the way.
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98. Have sex next to the greeter. 99. Start a mini casino inside the store. I'll leave 100 for some one else. Once we reach 100 I'll start ways to get kick out of home depot in a new thread. |
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