Less of a Goth?
 

I've been doing some thinking, and I've been wondering- does it somehow make me a less worthy or a "poseur" goth if I don't dress like it all the time? I think I am- as I always say,"You can take the girl out of the goth, but you can't take the goth out of the girl." Sometimes I have to dress "normal" for my job and stuff, and I know I shouldn't care what others think, but I do. I'm worried that should I ever get to a big city and go to a club or something that I'll be seen as some kind of a poseur by other goths b/c I don't have any expensive, nice goth clothes and I cobble together my outfits from "found" stuff at thrift stores and such. Ok, I'm done whining! Replies appreciated!

I'm probably not the best one to reply to this because I don't really dress gothic at all. My thoughts are who cares about how gothic you look? If people don't like you because you don't look gothic enough then smack them!! Clothes shouldn't matter (unless your clothes are really dirty and smelly) all that much. As long as you can hold a good conversation then it's all good. That's just my opinion.

Well put, winged.

Case closed.

The court is now adjourned.

I don't have a read made answer for you, but my ideas are in this post.

No one can exactly pinpoint "goth" I know a forty year old mother who is one of the truest "goths" I have ever met. People can't decide something about someone else based on appearance. For example, the group that i hang out with at my high school is the biggest mix of ecletics I have ever seen, and they consider themselves goth. I dress in t-shirts and jeans, or bondage pants. I wear makeup when i can remember to put it on. If you believe your goth, then you are. Don't listen to critiscm from people who know nothing about why you dress, act, and think the way you do.

yeah, i agree with winged, it doesnt matter what you dress like as long as you know who you are and dont cover yourself up with some image because you think that its who you should be. there are no 'three steps to insta-goth' yourself and anyone who tries to isnt really who they look like. lots of goths throw together what they have and lots have expensive clothes that they pick out. and some wear jeans and a t-shirt and dont do anything special. and if thats what works for them then no one is going to think any less of them, unless theyre idiots themselves and cant find anything better to do.

wow, rant mode :shock: , anyway, thats what i think.

Wow, thanks everyone for ur answers! I know that I have some serious self-esteem issues, but I'm working on them. Besides, I should just appreciate the fact that I'm the only visible goth at my private Catholic university! I'm told there are others, but they just must not dress like it. I've got to stop worrying what others think, and realize it's ok to dress like a "girly girl" (i.e., wearing pastels or other "un-goth" colors) and that I'm still just as much of a goth as if I was wearing black or other dark colors like I usually do.

There's nothing wrong with pastels. I like them for they are so pretty and look soft. But I love all colors because they can all be found in nature although I am partial to greens.

And I'm happy because people agreed with me!! Yay!!

Questions
 

Hi. I know this will probably irritate alot of people but please help me :? . I have read multiple websites answering "what is goth" and I think I understand pretty well what goth is. It doesn't seem that bad or wierd to me. What I have found about goth basically is that goths like dark, sorrowful stuff and like to be different and realize how ridiculous it is when people make fun of everyone for clothes and things like that. Also that goths accept gay people. From that I dont understand why everyone thinks that goths are freaks. This one kid sat across from me on the bus. One kid asked if I was goth and I said I don't know and the kid sitting across from me moved away and said he tries to not assosciate with goths. Is there something I have missed about goth that makes people react like that? Please don't tell me to go to websites and read FAQs or that I'm stupid or something. I need to talk to other goths.

Alright, I'm not going to flame you, Because I am not in the mood and at least you know how to spell. Goths are generally more accepting of people, than say, the "popular" people who only care about their image. I am bisexual, and no one here has insulted me for it. For me, I think a part of why I dress the way I do is to carefully choose my friends. People who want to be my friend based on what I look like are not real friends. If you make an attempt to act different from the crowd, chances are, someone isn't going to like it, or they will ridicule you for it. There are a number of faqs on the web that allude to what "goth" is. None of them have been able to pinpoint it exactly.

After the incident with Columbine, many people have blamed it on the goth culture as a whole. Goths are often seen as devil worshippers (as ludricous a theory if there ever was one) and bad influences. Many stereotypes exist, and they probably won't ever completely go away. You have to learn to deal with it.

And, yes, this thread will probably upset a lot of people. There are many deleted threads started by newbs, and they are usually flamed into submisson until a mod deems it necessary to lock or delete the thread. Just so you know, develop a thick skin.

Thanks for not flaming me. :D I have read about the Columbine incident and I realize how ridiculous it is that they blame that on goth. I don't really let any criticism affect me because it's just ridiculous. I accept bisexuality fine because I'm gay. Again, thanks for responding to me and not flaming me.

Oh, and I'm guessing this was moved by a mod so thankyou for correcting my post and I apologize for posting it in the wrong board.

Being goth isn’t about how you look it’s more a mindset. Someone can wear all black and tons of eyeliner and dye their hair black but that doesn’t make them gothic. The opposite is just as true, you can wear lots of soft pastel clothing and still truly be a goth.

Youre welcome Kage, anytime.

okay, to kage- i think that the whole goth=equal thing is something that is just there by those people who are just oblivous to everything on the other side of the line. And from past experience i've found that the people that are critical about what you wear or the fact that you arent with the crowd or anything that separates you from the rest arent really people that are worth getting to know anyway. sometimes they just go along with everything else but i wouldnt want to be their friend either. Actually, i had a whole rant written and posted it earlier but then during the time i was writing the thing got merged and it wasnt available anymore. dammit. and i was in a good mindset, too. oh well. hope that i actually said something useful and didnt offend anyone... :roll:

I agree with you Reborndead. I don't want people hanging out with me for things like clothes. My friends at school right now are basically people I sit with at lunch. We share some interests in gaming and music but none of us are really friends. They make constant racist jokes and make fun of sexual opinions. I don't know why I even stay with them. ^^;

Ahh, perhaps that's one of the reasons I didn't think of as to why I dress the way I do- nice theory! I too like to be choosy about my friends- I've learned to be after facing much derision for my Asperger's Syndrome (a mild form of autism). I was made fun of so much when I was younger that I learned to be very careful about who I reveal things to and who I allow close to me.

See, you people are missing the point entirely!!!

You're totally not goth if you don't own every stitch of lip-service clothing and New Rocks are a must!

You must have black hair and own at least 2 bauhaus and Cure records on vinyl!!!

And don't even think about going outside without white face w/ eyeliner scribbled everywhere!

Have a nice day poseurs!!!

:lol:

Umm, I do hope ur kidding, WolfMoon! While Lip Service is my favorite clothing line, it's damn expensive for someone who only works part time and makes like $6.18 an hour! I find mine on Ebay used, lol! :lol:

Puhleeze, luv!

Haven't you read any of my posts?And yeah, unless you just can't find/make something lip-service is a good place to turn.I was such an ebay junkie for awhile!I have gotten some very cool things from there.But thrift shopping will, sometimes, yeild you better results for less money and less worrying/waiting, which I hate!

Some bastard beat me outta winning a great pair of New Rocks by a fucking dollar!!1 dollar!!!!!

I still don't have a pair....

*sniffle*

Oooh, I hate it when I'm only beat out of something by a small amount! Today I was beat out of an Apoptygma Berzerk cd by fifty cents! I was sooo mad!

Speaking of ebay, I'm trying to buy books for school and also looking at pretty fabrics. Speaking of Lip Service I really like that geisha skirt that they have but I won't pay 50 bucks for a skirt. I'm going to try making something like it eventually. Hmmm...maybe I should look on Ebay for a sewing machine.

I find it so amusing to read your conversations.. Over time I have grown found of you all.. I do not post often because I really have nothing to type which you would find worthy of recognition. Keep in mind that I do exist and I am reading....(okay I will shut up now)

...which is pretty freakin awesome.

You can find out of you are less of a goth or more of a goth by ordering Secretboy's Goth Ruler which doubles as a marital aid for more adventurous couples. (married couples only! this should not be practiced by the young bachelor or spinster!!)

Just send a check or money order to

Secretboy's Goth Ruler
P.O. Box 31337
Plano, TX 74345

And if you send it in you'll get a free history of the Visigoths and the Ostragoths -- while supplies last! *

*note: please do not use the history of the Visigoths and the Ostragoths as a marital aid. Secretboy, Inc. is not accountable for bruising and rashes that might result from such an unorthodox practice. Secretboy, inc. is not responsible for failed term papers resulting in consulting the history, it is of entertainment purposes only and should not be used as a reference material.

Oh course not everyone's goth! Like I've repeated throughout multiple threads, it's a particular life philosophy and/or way of looking at things, lol! Silly Xnguela! :lol:

Ah, looks like we have ourselves a stalker.

*pumps 12 ga.*

i thought we were the stalkers...

Well, I suppose that even stalkers can get stalked, lol! To me, this "stalker" isn't really a problem, since we don't see him physically and he hasn't done anything really harmful or said anything insulting. I suggest we carry on business as usual.

I have no idea what "goth" is, specifically. Personally, I don't give a shit about labels, either. What I -do- know, is that the people whom I've become closest to, who share the same ideals, ethics, and such, as I do, all call themselves Goth, when pressed. So, going by that, I can say this...

I much rather prefer Goths to the Preps, the Rednecks, and the other "mainstream" people out there, for the simple fact that Goths (real goths, please, not fuzzy-bunny goths, and kids just out to scare their parents, and nothing else) are a vast and wonderfully diverse group. They are more intelligent, more creative, and vasty more open-minded than the average "mainstream" group.

One thing that seems to be a common thread, however, is we were all probably on the outside, looking in while growing up, and did something positive with it...namely, thinking for ourselves. We were outside the "norm" (and IMO, normal is overrated, anyway. I am weird. I like being weird. In fact, I -embrace- my weirdness, dammit!).

One thing I know that Goth isn't...it's not the clothes, it's not the music, it's not the gazillion other things associated with Goth, and at the same time, it's all these things.

Me? Well, one friend says I'll never be goth, another says I'm a closet goth, and still another says I'm so goth it hurts.

What am I to me? I'm Lorrie.

That is the problem, isn't it? Is one or is one not a goth? As I've told countless people, deep down, I think goth is a love of the dark side of life- music, clothes, etc. are just a way of projecting that inward darkness outwards.

hey
 

In all respects, and forgive me, cos according to this site i'm a "newbie" ahem...
goth is in a large part the inside,so u have to dress "normal" for work, i bet ya everyone knows there's something about u that's different.
despite the clothes you wear.
you only have to live up to the standards you only set urself.
you know who you are, and so do the people who come into contact with u, no matter the outer wrapping u come in.

bb
gryph

That was a very lovely comment, gryphon! It seems like some people think you're only a goth if you wear black all the time, no matter if your choice of clothing gets you in trouble on the job or not. Some of us have to conform for some occasions, which I think is only part of living in the real world. I especially liked the part you put about people being able to tell that there's something different about you no matter what you're wearing, and I think that's true. By the way, don't worry about being a "newbie"- all of us here, except perhaps the moderators, were "newbies" at one time. Oh, and yes, Xnguela here hates abbreviations- I've experienced her wrath myself, hehe!

As a fellow language-lover, I concur! I make spelling mistakes just as often as I correct them on other people. Woo-whoo for inadvertently hypocritical brains!

Yeah, I tend to have poor speech sometimes, although I'm an English major, using words like "ain't" and stuff like that. I do take glee in correcting other's spelling and grammar, however! :mrgreen:

Well, I haven't committed any of the "sins" you listed, except for the "ain't" thing. For some reason, the Rolling Stones song "I Can't Get No (Satisfaction)" has always bothered me, what with the use of the double negative. So actually, they're saying they can get satisfaction!

Something irrelevant- so there! :p I fixed it, Xnguela!

Well, I checked the FAQ page and it says that ordinary users can't delete a post once someone's replied! And I don't see any X's! :( (

I ought to do that, Xnguela! Good idea!

Yes, it certainly is sad that they haven't posted lately- they seemed so intelligent and a good conversationalist! I hope they see this and decide to come back from wherever they've gone.

so what the hell is goth anyone do you have to like take a test and who gets to grade it if you do what is the build of a true goth??? I mean there has to be some kind of guide lines cause if there wasnt then .......you couldnt really be grouped into a catgory right???? so .....how does it work what is a true goth

Are you for real? Seriously... like... Are you trying to be an idiot, or were you actually born and raised that way? I simply MUST know your secret!