Question for the ladies.
 

Why do women hate guys that bust their asses to provide for them,protect them,and go through so much hell for them?

Are you speaking of all women or just the losers you know.

Both actually.

Because it seems to me that women hate guys that give it their all to have a steady working relationship.

Depend on how is that guy

-_-
lol

Wow.
It's really not ok for you to say all women are like that.

It's my opinion,plus that's all I've seen,I've busted myself trying to provide and be a good bf/future husband only to be stabbed in the back by the very person I tried so hard to help and protect.

Yeah, and that's one woman.
You picked a bad one, and that really does suck, but that doesn't mean all women are like that.

You can't make accurate observations about women from the destruction of your own catastrophe. Tomorrow or the following day you'll be asking if all women are beautiful and heroic in how they serve their men.

Okay I'll give in on that one.

All women aren't like that,just the few I've met and tried to have a relationship with,the end result was the same in all cases though.

I've worked until I could barely stagger,been busted up durring said labor in some cases and just like clock work they've cut and run.

You know, maybe they thought you were neglecting them emotionally or avoiding them. I know I would rather have a bf that would love me enough to come home for a good dinner than a bf who comes home at ten at night from work. *shrugs*

There seems to be something about your process of selection (making decisions too quickly, basing your choice on attractiveness alone or some other quality) that appeals to bad choices.

This is the closest I have seen to the answer.

When I read the original post, it was like: "OK, so everything you have mentioned so far is related to making money, paying bills, "protecting" them, but when do you get to the part of romancing them?".

Women just don't want to be taken care of like pets.

They want someone to explore the adventure of life with, side by side. Not carrying on your back in a cage.

As for the "protecting" part, I have found that some women like a little danger in their lives now and then. :)

As for my background in terms of being an authority? I have been married for 25 years this coming October 27. Wife hasn't left me yet. :D

That's just because you're a sweetie.

I did my best to show them how much I care for them,I've listened to them about how their day went it was the high point of my day to tell the truth (Well that and you know bedroom time) I've just always been thrown aside for someone else.

The woman I was with before E.C. broke up with me while I was in the Hospital bed on the same day as the wreck,they said she took one look at me,turned her head and walked away.

When I came to and started (Couldn't really talk because my wind pipe had been cut open) writting down questions as to where the hell I was I asked if Heather was there,that's when I found out she broke up with me.

O.k., you have bad taste in women, and she sounds like a bitch. But not all women are like that. I may have been raised in my own little world, but I do know that there are much better people out there, so just keep looking.

I haven't given up looking but more and more it seems like a wild goose chase.

Quoted for truth. All my boyfriends were poor, but what I loved about them was the freedom they gave me, and yet they'd spent so much time with me just going out and adventuring, or if it was too cold we'd just stay inside and watch movies/play video games all night. I liked having a partner in crime.

H.P. Glad to hear about your good luck.

Luck had nothing to do with it! :D

Conscientious effort and focus. And listening. Focused listening and then responding appropriately to what was said. This is probably more important (and takes more effort) as your relationship endures time.

You may find that if you employ listening carefully (as Sherlock would have) when dating, you may pick up cues that tell you NOT to begin a relationship with this or that woman. That foundation, that "picking right the first time" because you observed minutiae, is the big secret to a long relationship. In my opinion anyway. I dated a lot of women who gave me creepy vibes, little things they said or did that sent up danger signals. When I dated my wife, I was perfectly comfortable and trusting, the radar was silent. I saw her in trying as well as good times, and she was always consistent, always honest, always real.

Well I doubt I'll find that man.

You create your own reality. If you stub you toe in the morning while dressing you may say to yourself, "This is going to be a sh!ty day". Then you go about making the day bad. You may flood your car as you start it, miss your exit on the freeway or spill you coffee in your lap.

You can convince yourself that you are not going to find the right person.

Good attitude you got there.
That'll REALLY attract the stable ladies.

After being knocked down so many times it gets harder trying to look on the bright side of things.

If you let your troubles swallow you up, you'll drown and get nowhere.

Though I will admit at times it can really feel like your a target for disaster, your not alone there mate.

I was with a guy who busted his as to provide for me, protect me, and said he went through hell for me. He isolated me, kept me from working, beat me, demeaned me and cheated on me, too. What a keeper.

It sounds like to me that you want a steady relationship so bad that you'll take the first fresh body that comes along, and of course that is not always the best course. Maybe what you should do is just sit back and take it easy on the dating front for a while. Just go out and have fun! Your future partner is out there somewhere, relax. If it's ment to be it will happen, you know?

I agree with Drew, it sounds like you are trying to make every relationship last long term without first seeing if you two are compatible. Slow things down and don't put yourself in that provider/protector role. I know that a lot of guys think that women want men to protect and provide for them but the truth is that sometimes it can be a bit stifling, these days most women can provide for themselves and many are perfectly capable of protecting themselves so they don't need a man to fill those roles and it can freak a girl out if a guy takes over those roles because it takes away a part of her independence.

Very good! I should have mentioned this too but in my egomania didn't think of it. Thanks for mentioning it Tam. :)

Of all the folks on this board, you are the LAST one I'd peg as an egomaniac, HP! ;)

But yeah...if these past ten chaotic years have taught me anything, it's that it's all too easy to blame other folks instead of realizing our own part in our problems.

Thanks for the advice,but it does seem like the harder I try the harder it gets.

I've tried not looking and well nothing has happened.

Molly the guy sounds like a control freak,I'm not like that,nor would I want to be like that. (I can't stand the thought of someone trying to control me,that's why I'm back in Kentucky instead of in California,that plus a number of other things)

And no I'm not comming on to you M.M. just hate to hear about cases like that.

Yeah, I know; I've been there. :/ Relationships are confusing enough, and maybe you just haven't met the right girl yet.

If you're that desperate to find someone, you probably aren't happy with yourself. True happiness does not come from another person. You have to learn to find your own happiness. If a relationship happens and it works, great, if it doesn't, then you're just fine on your own.

I've been through four relationships, and I did the breaking up with the second and the third. The second I was with for three years, but it was long distance, it wasn't showing any sign of changing in that regard, and while I can appreciate some humor, he couldn't be serious in some areas that I really needed for him to be serious about. The third was one year and I left him because he was extremely possessive, controlling, jealous, manipulative, and severely addicted to drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol.

The point is, as cliche as it sounds, relationships really are like chemistry. You might not even be doing anything wrong, some personality types are just incompatible. There are many reasons people break up with each other.

Additionally, many women don't want a protector, and many want to be seen as equals. I'm a bit old-fashioned and like little romantic gestures here and there, but at the end of the day I don't want someone who's going to treat me like a child or a pet. That's one of the problems I had with my fourth boyfriend. He could tell something was bothering me, he'd pester me until I told him what it was, then he'd get offended when I repeatedly didn't take his advice because it was something I needed to figure out on my own...not to mention I was still dealing with issues from the relationship before him.

Many people find love later than others though. Nearly all my friends are married now, but one of my exes who I still talk to has finally gotten engaged at the age of 31 after going through many women, examples including a compulsive liar and a woman who broke it to him that she was a stripper by telling him to meet her at work. Another woman I worked with didn't even meet her current husband until she was 28. Focus on you and on being you and less on finding someone to attach yourself to.

Thanks for the advice.

Hahaha yeah i know i friggin hate women like that.
high and mighty cows that do nothing but eat out of their men's paycheck.
and in the end you find them i bed with some other guy with a higher paying job.

sigh.

But please remember. You men can be fuckin assholes. At times.
You don't own "your women."
But yeah I take your side on this one...

Here is an old song that explains things

You Don't Own Me
You don't own me, I'm not just one of your many toys
You don't own me, don't say I can't go with other boys

And don't tell me what to do
And don't tell me what to say
And please, when I go out with you
Don't put me on display, 'cause

You don't own me, don't try to change me in any way
You don't own me, don't tie me down 'cause I'd never stay

Oh, I don't tell you what to say
I don't tell you what to do
So just let me be myself
That's all I ask of you

I'm young and I love to be young
I'm free and I love to be free
To live my life the way I want
To say and do whatever I please

I never thought of the ladies I went out with as my property,I never treated them as such.

Doesn't mean that it didn't feel that way to them

I see your point.

But in a lot of ways no matter what it's seen as either too much or not enough one way or the other which leads guys to think of women as very fickle.

Why the fuck do you think that I'd think you were coming on to me?

There isn't one rule that applies to every woman ever born. We are individuals, you know.
You just have to do what's right and what feels comfortable for the woman in question.

Just trying to cover all bases. M.M.

Keep yer mitts off my bases. Dem's for Mir.

The Goddess speaketh my name! [ falls to the ground in rapture ]

"All your base are belong to Mir."

Understood.

No. They belong to her. But, she shares if I've been an exceptionally naughty boy!

I completely agree with Tam on this one. It doesn't matter whether you are a man or a woman, you need to be ready for a relationship.

During my first year of law school my ex-wife meet someone else and left me and our little girl. I have spent the last few years working on myself, and believe I am finally ready to start dating again. I had invitations, but I declined because I was not ready.

It is different for everyone, but I wish you luck.
______________________________________________
"I died a long time ago."

:( My life is ruined.

That had nothing to do with my tit availability anf you know it. Stop using my ta-tas as a crutch.