It's a guy thing, right?
 

Okay, so is it just me or are guys from another planet? I work as a medical typist. In my time of doing this job I have typed reports on: 1) A guy who 'didn't know his own strength' and who accidentally yanked his ceiling fan out of the ceiling, and beat himself up with the blades.

2) A guy who ran over his roommate while test-driving a toboggan down the stairs -- in April.

3) A guy who ran over himself with his own couch. (He was pushing it up the stairs on rollers, no less).

4) An obviously drunken guy who accidentally swallowed his penlight, which was still blinking when the surgeon removed it.

5) A guy who -- get this -- swallowed a vibrator on a drunken dare. (Don't even ask me to explain that one).

6) An inept fisherman wannabe who could not handle fly fishing and was totally incompetent with a net, so he tried spear-fishing -- and speared himself, in the foot.

7) And tonight, a guy who broke his arm while testing a laundry basket for durabiity, by --you guessed it -- riding it down the stairs.

Trust me, the absolutely dumbest thing I have ever seen a female patient do was to be 'attacked' by her blowdryer and thrown backwards into a tub of water.

So, is this 'native ingenuity' a 'guy' thing or what?

My aunt is a nurse, and has had a woman walk in to the emergency room who had a roll of twenties stuck up her cooch, and said she needed help getting it out.

And in high school there was a girl who tried to use a hot dog weiner for a dildo, had trouble getting it out so went to the emergency room.

I find it amusing that stupid shit I hear about women doing and having to go to the emergency room usually involves their vag.

I take pride on male stupidity. Or should I call it dangerous creativity.

Yes! Without that dangerous creativity Benjamin Franklin while flying his kite would never have said, "Damn! That's shocking."

Some of that reminds me of the Darwin Awards.

^^ The Darwin Awards are hilarious :D

The two funniest ones that have happened in my area are:

1) A rather embarrassed guy was brought into A+E with a large tomato sauce bottle lodged up his anus. The nurses (who I know and told me about this incident) asked the guy why he had the bottle up his anus & he told them he was trying to massage his prostate lol.

2) A local man who decided to commit a cardinal sin with a goat got the shock of his life when he couldn't remove himself from the beast and was later found by a police patrol. The guy ended up in court and the local media had a feeding frenzy over it lol

There's plenty of stories regarding women but they're nowhere near as amusing as these two :D

You should have seen a guy who jumped in a pool full of crocodile after he dropped his contact in there.

He said that it was like 500,000 $ worth. He almost lost his leg only to found that the paper thing he got after such an attempt was a diaper.


And that contact was amazingly gone,forever.

The first report I ever typed about a guy doing something embarrasingly stupid made the papers, too. He got drunk at a party, and, on a dare, put a toilet trainer on his head. He couldn't get it off and decided to go sleep off the drunk and try to remove it. In the meantime, his 'friends' photographed him, sold the pix to the local paper, and he eventually had to have it surgically removed. But for awhile he had to walk around with a toilet trainer stuck to his head. Go figure.

I 'was' a guy, But not anymore !!!!

Hear hear!

*giggles silently at the potty training man*

Min, that was pretty funny. I felt for the poor schmuck, though. First he got the stupid thing stuck. Then, his friends took his picture and sold it to the paper. When he woke up he had a screaming headache and a toilet trainer stuck to his head, and his 'friends' made him go get the paper off the porch, which is when he found out he had made the papers. Then his friends tried in vain to get the toilet trainer off his head, and could not get it off with anything. They even tried to pry it off with a crowbar, if you can imagine that. He finally had to have it surgically removed with a skull saw. Go figure.

...you´ve got to be intelligent to get such ideas. Daymn. *shakes head, marvelling at the accomplishments of humanity* I wonder what Freud would´ve said about this incident.

This is why, on average, men don't live as long as women.

My boyfriend gets ridiculous when he's drunk. One time he was trying to be Neo from the Matrix for some reason, and he tried to lean back almost to the floor in slow motion and get back up. Of course, he fell.. but the really funny part is that every time he's drunk I say "Do the Matrix thing" and he does it. He always falls.

Men don't learn. <3

I resent that*dives into a pool full of piranha, to retrieve a quarter*

The dumbest thing any guy has done, that I know of, was the guy who lived in a few towns over, decided he wanted to get busy with a horse, the horse sodomized him, and he later died from the wounds.

http://www.komonews.com/news/archive/4158101.html

Thats funny Splintered, I actually remember that being posted here in Spooky News a few years back when it happened XD

Exactly. Women do stupid crap too, but it almost always involves the vag.

Could have just been an urban legend, but I read once about a girl in chemistry that decided to masturbate with a test tube. A...glass test tube...that shattered while she was using it. But I've never seen a factual source cover it, so as stated, it may not be true.

But...my half brother from my mom's previous marriage (who has always lived with his father's family) has done some pretty stupid things in his time. Including attempting to steal a tailgate off a truck in a parking lot where there was a police officer patrolling, who caught him and his idiot buddy who put him up to it...and the time he decided to do some kind of crazy stunt on a truck and fell off and injured himself. But he is resilient, I'll give him that. Guy got crushed between two train couplings in a work accident (that one was his employer's fault, not his) and survived.

Nagging women are the reason men don't live as long.

Women are just as stupid as men. If they weren't, I'd be a virgin.

Mealla, that reminds me of some guys in my state who actually made it into "World's Dumbest Criminals." They tried to steal an ATM machine, chained it to their truck, and pulled off. Problem is, it didn't go anywhere, but the bumper did. It ripped off and so they very cleverly drove off and left it on the ATM -- with their license plate attached!!! Unbelievable as that act of 'sheer genius' was, they actually could not understand why the got caught. Duh!!

Oh, and GM. Do I detect a note of modesty???

I broke my finger by dropping a slab of limestone on it.
Seems a woman can be stupid in ways not related to sticking things in her cooter. >.<

Holy crap. Vagina is not listed in thesaurus.com

No. If you were paying attention, you'd note that I've only asserted my ability to sleep with a great number of women. Never did I purport that those women were wise in sleeping with me-- not only will I invariably leave them emotionally harrowed, but to experience the best sex they'll ever have so early in their lives is clearly imprudent.

You drive us to nag. It's really not that hard to put the seat down on the toliet!

Agreed.

But you do seem to hear about men doing stupid things more often than women. Unless you get started with the blond jokes, that is.

Haha, when my mum was working in the infirmary she got a woman in one night, who had an apple stuck up her vagina; and couldn't get it out. They had to reach in and cut it up inside her, then gradually take parts of it out with forceps.

GM, I was being facetious. No offense meant, o' great one.

Lis, Try this one on for size. One night I typed a report on a drunken guy who was riding his bicycle and hit a parked car. After the ER doctor bandaged him up and gave him the usual precautions about drinking, and riding a bike drunk, etc., the guy asked -- point blank --"Well, do you think I should really be riding a bike at all, Doc? After all, I'm legally blind."

Whereas I am unflinchingly sincere.

GM, you're such a cute little bat.

If it isn't so hard, why don't you fucking do it yourself instead of nagging us to do a menial task?

We find it down and put it up, you find it up and put it down.

Fucking easy.

lol, I had a male friend in high school, whom upon a drunk dare, inserted a tampax tampton into his anus. Obviously, the anus is very dry compared to a vag, and it got stuck. He had to have it removed at the hospital!

^ A kid at my highschool had the same thing happen though I don't think it went as far as hospital :lol:

Because when we get home after getting piss loaded drunk or waking up in the middle of night and need to urgently pee, we might be too drunk or rushed and blinded by light to see, and fall in the bowl.

Seriously though, the cat might drink out of it. And I fucking hate it when there is pee on the rim of the toilet.

My issue with the seat (and lid) being left up is that the only shelf in the bathroom in above the toilet and I don't want any of my stuff falling into the toilet and seeing as Jake and I both have stuff on that shelf I'm not the only one at risk of accidentally knocking something into the bowl.


As for the original topic all I have to say is that boys+bonfires+beer=bad, I can't tell you how many of my guy friends have lost hair and clothing because they were so sure that they could jump over the fire (hint: when the logs are piled up about three feet high then you aren't going to make it without something getting a little scorched)

THANK YOU.
I agree completely!

I fucking hate it when women complain about this.

Chelseagirl, That reminds me of something a guy did in the Army. We had this one medic in our unit, who, believe it or not, was so naive he had never seen a tampax before. (He thought they were ammonia capsules!!!). So, he decided to 'wake' up a drunken roomie by waving one under his nose while he was sleeping. He came over the the women's barracks and complained to us that he could not get them to work. When we gently explained to the poor soul what they actually were, he went back to the men's barracks and sfuffed them up his roommate's nose. That not only woke his roommate up, it got 'Mr. Genius' a quick trip to the infirmary, with a busted nose.

Guys. Can't live with them, and can't live with them.

If you don't want the cat to drink out of it, I've got a brilliant suggestion, CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR!

My friend inserted a tampon in his ass for a dare and it didn't get stuck, your friend must have one crusty ass.

There's a mental image I needed while eating lunch, thanks JCC.

Here to serve. The tampon had shit on it when he showed us, that was off-putting. Oh, he put it in the wrong way first too, so he shoved up the plastic, which was hilarious.

...is it really that hard to figure out which way to put in a tampon?

As males, we're rarely given the talk on how to properly insert a tampon into our vaginas.

but...but...but...there is a rounded end and a blunt end with a string, who would insert the end with the string first?

I was volunteering at the hospital once when this girl came in with a baseball in her ass...

They gave her muscle relaxants so she could get it out... XD

It's a guy thing.

It's an idiot thing.